So, a girl asks you the eternal question; "What do you do for a living?"
What do you respond with? The truth? Or do you make up some silly answer and keep her guessing?

So far I've heard a few different answers to this.
What would YOU say?

Here's one of mine;

Her- "So...What do you do for work?"
You-“I'm a Janitor at a Porno Theatre."
Her- “What, Really?!”
You- “Yeah! Just imagine cleaning and mopping each isle and knowing for a fact that the sticky substance under the each chair is something other than Coca-Cola Classic!"

[You'd then be able to go on and say that at least you get to see all that porn for free and that your very popular among your male friends,
...although it's not a job you'd really want to talk about with your mother, or your ex-girlfriend, for that matter... ]

So... I haven't field-tested this guy yet. Haha, I'm too worried that I'll receive a negative response; i.e., like she'll be too scared to let me touch her, lol.

Any-way's, I'd like to hear your opinions.
So, feel free to post your own fabricated responses, comment on mine, or even better, fix it up/field test it!

Here's a self revision;

Her- "So...What do you do for work?"
You-“I'm a Janitor at a Porno Theatre."
Her- “What, Really?!”
You- “God no! Just imagine cleaning and mopping each isle, knowing for a fact that the sticky substance under the each chair is something other than Coca-Cola Classic!"


I'm thinking that this would help avoid her inevitable negative reaction :p

Tell her the truth. If you are not passionate about your job, you can say something like, "I work at a bank, but that's just what I do during the day. What I'm really passionate about is photography." Try to steer the conversation to your passions, whether it's photography, art, sports, or music.

I like it!
And I agree; it's good to convey whatever passions you might have.

...I do value, however, the playful SPAM the fabricated answers create.

I like to lie the first time , get her to qualify to me, neg, and then tell her the real profession. This is a real conversation I had.

Her: So what do you do?
Me: I rent shopping carts to the homeless
Her: Really, well I saw one of your customers digging through the trash on 26th on my way to work.
Me: Thanks, I'll be sure to get on him, he still owes me an extra 10 cans for the cart.
Her: *laughs* But really what do you do?
Me: Give me 3 good reasons for why I should tell you.
Her: *Flips hair IOI* Well I'm funny, interesting to talk to, and I'm cute.
Me: Hmmm the first 2 were good, that last one was a lie so you've still got one more*smile* *laugh*
Me: I'm a computer programmer

So you can get a few laughs, get her to qualify some to you, and also neg her as almost every time the girl says she is cute.

Very good!
The absurd never fails to get a rouse out of them

Its the BEST when women ask this in groups because the laughter is wonderful.

Her: So what do you do for a living?
Me: You know how when you eat at a restaurant and you have food stuck in your teeth? There's always that nice little toothpick holder with toothpicks there. How do you think it got there? *I point to my heart* That's right.

Her: *laughter*
Her friend: So, have you ever thought of going into condiment sales too?

me: no! actually thats a great idea... im looking to expand. But you guys really want to know what I do? *smile*

Friends: Yea!

Me: You know over at the mall, they have an ice-skating rink and they whip out those zamboni's to clean the ice? I make instruction manuals for that sweet ride. *smile*

Them: Youre kidding?!

Me: Yep! I'm really a videogame artist."

Them: "Yea Right!"

Me: "Youre right, this nerdy exterior dictates that I'm a foreman at the local oil rig off the Texas coast... blah blah blah...."

I like this one also, but it seems like it would require A LOT of compliance on their part to fit all of this dialogue in...
But, broken down into three different responses, (i.e., the toothpick one, the zamboni one, and the videogame/foreman one) each would likely do the job and provoke some laughter.

I heard that you should never use the word computer in your job description. Say something like "I prevent hackers to enter our corporate network", "I take care of millions of dollars to transfer between accounts" or something spectacular like that.

Great tip for anyone working in the programming field.
Cheers man

I'll say I'm a programmer then? I don't dwell on it and offer to fix their computers, if the ask me what I do on like a day to day basis I usually say something like "It fascinates me but would bore the shit out of you" then go into something else , or "You're not drunk enough to understand lets do another shot" and or something else to either take their mind off of it since me explaining what I do is one of the most boring things on the planet. So saying computer isn't that big of a deal to me.

May be a beginners question, but doesn't the million-dollars-one get dangerously close to bragging? I'm told, and it makes sense, that bragging is one of the seven deadly sins. Any tips on where the line is?

Yea the million dollar one does sound like you're bragging and you may just get gold-diggers then and just stuff you don't want. Which is why I mess around at first and then say what I do, I mean there has to be some truth between her and I at some point.

I agree. I'm a beginner as well

It's a good idea to be playful about your occupation IF YOU JUST MET WITHOUT ANYONE COMFORT BUILDING. She has to qualify herself to be worthy to hear what you do for a living. Don't give up to much information too fast.

Early on in set
Her: So what do you do for a living?

You: I invented the speedo.

Her: Psh, ya right!

You: It's true. Every time you see a fat dude walking around and showing too much skin, you can send me a little thank you note.

Later on in set, after you have fluffed her and built comfort:
Her: So what do you do for a living?

You: Right now, I'm a student, but I REALLY want to be a Hollywood actor/model!

Her: Wow. Really?!

You: Ya. It's definitely a big pair of shoes to fill, but I have this uncanny nac to believe in myself and accomplish my goals no matter what the odds are against me.

The differences are obvious