Hi guys
I got that stripper on the back burner but shes not the girl for me! I got a call from this girl I went to college with 10 years ago saying she`s moved into the same town and if I wanna hook up.

This girl I fancied while at college and took her out a few times but never even kissed her (didn`t get the vibes she was into me at all), she`s 4 years older and at the time I was 22 so I think she was put off by my age.

So I have invited her round to my place for a bite to eat in a couple of days as she doesnt know anyone in town and I haven`t seen her for 10 years. My place is like a mini version of Hugh Heffners place (very mini) so I know it`ll give off the impression that I am successful.

But how do I play this?
a) she knows me from being a beta male 10 years ago (although now I work out and look pretty descent and my dress sense is miles better).
b)She didn`t fancy me then.

How can I turn this in my favour, as I`m not sure negs will work - I think I need to build comfort but create sexual tension here. what do you think?

Oh, she`s a bloody psychologist too so I gotta be careful as I`m sure she`ll be reading me as much as I`m reading her.

Well since she wants to hook up and she calls you after 10 years I'm guessing you must have left some kind of impression on her. So I would even dare say you don't need much to get intimate with this girl.

Since you guys haven't talked much over the last 10 years she'll probably ask you about your life, what you've been up to. I don't think I have to tell you what women like to hear. I recommend being casual about doing a lot of sports (if you really do work out, your body will back up your words), going out, enjoying life. Don't brag, just answer her questions in a laidback way.

Be nice to her, you know her already so don't use too many routines etc. Be nice to her, tease her, push/pull and tell her how much you enjoyed your evening, kissclose.

Can't really give you any details on how the evening should go, but since you're cooking (which is a big plus already) you probably know what you're doing. Take her out, go many places in little time, make her feel like she's spending a lot of time with you. Don't make the evening about her, if she's new to town, show her to cool places you usually go to (you're known in town, you go out, you have the friends). Invite her to go with you, and take it from there.


What I would recommend in detail is to try and think of something you had in common 10 years ago, and try to make into an inside joke between you. This way you can bring it up sometimes as the evening progresses. And use it afterwards to talk to her again.

I think you get the picture good luck my friend

Ok, thanks man, thats all useful advice I can use.

Due to mistakes in the past there are some things I could share when you`re cooking for someone.

DONT make spaghetti (if you`re like me chances are you`ll 'flick' her in the face with the sauce, or worse you`ll stain her prestine white jacket)

DON`T make anything spicy (sweating doesn`t look good)

DON`T use excessive onions, garlic or anything strong smelling, keep it simple. You don`t want to melt her with your breath as you K/Close

DON`T just make a jacket potato

DON`T make anything that takes ages to prepare unless you are gonna prep it the day before or you`ll be stressed, then you`ll start sweating - double whammy

DON`T use wierd foods as a main ingredient - she may not like it (but it may show that you`re cultured if you have it as a side dish or something)

Make sure you know what she likes to drink too - it`s embarrassing to say "sorry, don`t have any of that"

Just food for thought.

Back to the OT, she wants to watch a horror film cos we both like them so I`m not sure if we are gonna make it out, but at what point should I start to escalate KINO and do you think it`s appropriate to do the routines of "think of a number" (where I can qualify myself for touching her), or "give me any date and I`ll tell you what day of the week it falls on" etc?

if you're going to watch a movie, there should be a sticky around about going to the movies. You might wanna give that a read.

there's no specific time to start kino and your routines, just feel it. If you have some game and experience with women, it'll be pretty easy to feel if she's into you or not. As soon as you're "feeling" this, just start your routines, see how she reacts and go from there.

it's all about noticing if she likes you and being brave enough to kino escalate and close. push and pull my friend

That's perfect advice. It's casual, it's fun, it keeps her busy and it lets you BOTH pick things you BOTH want to eat together.

As for the movies, get huddled close - its a horror film! If she's not initiating it then say in a cocky funny way that "i'm not scared or anything but yuno i think you might appreciate safety in numbers" or something that gets you snuggled/huddled up together. Maybe have a quilt over you while you watching the film (im presuming its a DVD and not something at the cinema).

If she wants a day-date then maybe go for it, day-dating is perfect for a reunion - again, casual, fun, and it even takes her defenses down about being hit on. Give her neg's, tell her how things have changed with her and get her to talk about that. When she's talking about herself remember to wear a smile and make observational statements and let her string a conversation from there - it puts you in the driving seat. Something simple, like "I'd have thought you would have had longer hair" (girls love talking about hair, only shoes have a bigger effect). When you first see her get a hug "what 10 years and no hug?", instant kino, escelate, when crossing a road maybe even hold out your hand and say "If i'm looking after you im doing this properly" or (for Rise Against fans) "i wont cross this street until you hold my hand". A sincere smile will get you anywhere with cute like that.

Anyway dude, post back with anything, but especially with how it goes!

Good luck!!




GrifterUK

_________________
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

Thanks guys for all this advice - it`s all something I can work on.

It`s a DVD that we`ll be watching. I remember when I took her to see a horror film all those years ago and tried to KINO (before I knew anything at all about game) and...nothing lol!

I think what`s going through my mind most is that I remember her seemingly 'cut off' any of my (perhaps subtle) advances last time I was trying to date her, and don`t wanna come off like a nob.

But I love the idea of her helping me cook! I`m gonna use that one. I texted her tonight to tell her my address...just to keep you in the loop...

ME: This is to confirm our meeting on Tuesday at 6.30pm. The clinic is *address*. Bring all your paperwork with you. Hope you`re having a good weekend! xx

HER: Nutter! I`ll bring my prescription book with me, then the fun can REALLY start! x

ME: Oh can`t wait! Bring pills too. Lots of pills and we can mix and match and see what they do to us! I`ll get my black leather lounge chair out aswell! x


Not long got out of a 3 year relationship so I`m just getting my shit together! Thanks guys.

Smikes, you're gunna be alright man

_________________
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

Ok so she just left...

Greeted her at the door with a kiss on the cheek. She bought a bottle of wine...nice.

Showed her around etc.

Small talk etc. - I noticed she was mirroring me.

Started making dinner and she helped - tried the role play cooking routine but she didnt seem to bite. I tried it twice but didn`t feel like it was going anywhere so stopped.

She started talking about what type of guys there are down here so I made a joke about how they were all gay or smelly and that she might have to go for a girl. She pissed herself laughing.

Then she said about how she couldn`t date anyone younger when she was in her 20s but now she would date someone in their early 30s and smiled

Negged her a couple of times but in a jokey way. (she spilt wine in the kitchen and I called her a clumsy nob). She laughed.

After dinner sat on the couch and we were talking about running and training and the marathon etc and then she said "I don`t know what this muscle is called?" and grabbed my leg just above the knee. It was a bit of a surprise that I jolted and she laughed. So I then grabbed hers and asked "what, this muscle right here?"
This went back and forth a little.

She started to lean more towards me cos I did notice she was leaning away beforehand.

She then took a little stuffed toy dragon from a shelf and walked it up my leg.

I slightly kicked her as I moved at one point and put my hand on her leg in a way to apologise.

Ran the 'gimme a date and I`ll tell you which day of the week it falls on' routine. She loved it but she is a psychologist so she was like "come on...give me the formula" - eventually I gave in and told her.

Another 10 minutes of banter and she left.

I think way too much about "shall I do this/Shall I do that" I think.

How much did I fuck this up then by not really escalating? I mean I did a little but it was just nowhere near enough I guess.

Feel free to throw tomatoes at me!

Firstly a neg is a compliment followed by a negative statement, so calling her a "clumsy nob" isn't hitting the nail on the head exactly Its kinda like punching her in the juggular and calling it kino

BUT thats just a matter of getting a word wrong. Whats important here is that you followed a game-plan that you'd set up. Yeah it might not have worked to your ideal situation (im just wondering what your goal was exactly? K-close presumably, right?) but nontheless you've established yourself as someone she cant date. Did you watch a film or anything?

Pro's:
She kino'd, you reciprocated. Thats a good start.
She didnt take to the role play. Never mind. You attempted. As a pua in training that is a step forward.
She mirrored. Again, good to see that she wants your approval (if only subconsciously)
Her body language was positive. This is a good sign but I'd say you missed an opportunity to maybe escalate further. In hindsight I think the perfect routine to run would have been the one in which you get her to clench her hands together and keep her index fingers pointing up without touching. Meanwhile you circle your finger around asif tying them together. Maybe spin a story like "we used to be this close but then *spread them apart and start circling* you left, but as you can see *the fingers will start to touch each other or at the least get closer* we cant be kept apart for too long". I like to k-close on that one but I dont think you can just say I WILL K-CLOSE AFTER IT - its got to be dependant upon her reaction.

Dont beat yourself up man, you've barely been a member for a month. It's a good start




GrifterUK

_________________
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

Ok Round 2 tomorrow

Texts so far...

HER: Her mister. Fancy hooking up next week?

ME: Yeah defo. Wanna catch a flick?

HER: Sure. No idea whats on at the mo but sure 2 b something decent on. Weds eve any good?

*small shit about arranging time, and her telling me about how her dissertation is goin*

ME: Good job. Keep your head down and be a good girl! I`ll reward you with a drinnk when you finish it...something to look forward to

HER: Amen to that!

So, is the cinema a good idea (you can`t talk in there)? Or should we go on the coast and the pier and catch a bite to eat or something?

How the heck do I escalate this without it being infantile? If at any point I decide to K/Close and she rejects I don`t think she`s the type of girl to fall for "and you thought you were THAT lucky" type of lines...forgive me but those seem a little childish.

Hey man sorry its taken me so long to get back to you. I hope you went to cinema's, you dont need to escelate at cinema's, tease her just before you go into the pictures. Make her want to continue.

Also, dont go in the daytime, keep it a night/very late afternoon.

How did it go?



GrifterUK

_________________
- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

It sounds like this girl was offering herself to you with splaid legs and you didn't take her...Did I miss something?

Oh, yeah. You're INTIMIDATED by her! No reason to be. She wants you or is at least giving you the option of creating attraction/sexual tension. Just take confidence in her invitation and run with it. WHO CARES if it doesn't go right? It's been 10 years. If she falls out of your life...OH WELL!