Time for a moment of honesty

I've never had any doubts about my sexuality. I am obviously straight and have a pretty high libido. However, I have never lost my virginity now I'm in my early twenties. Partially because I'm pretty picky but also because I have (too) high expectations from a relationship once it's more than friendship to me.

My personal beliefs about it make it impossible to still feel comfortable while building sexual tension. Because once I have sexual desires for a girl it becomes so strong that I'm thinking about it all day and it freaks me out. I've only admitted my feelings to a girl once before and they were so strong it scared her and ended our "friendship". Never saw her again.

I have kissed exactly 1 girl in my life, and that's when we were both very drunk.I barely remember it. I've never even been touched. I am more attractive than the average guy but I need to calm down around women once it could get sexual. Sometimes I want to kiss someone so bad but fail to do so because I get nervous and fear being rejected.

I am good at breaking the ice and building comfort. But I have no idea how to get auto of the auto - friend zone process. I know it starts with good eye contact but even there I suck. Because I get nervous once eye contact takes too long. I look away automatically.
Yesterday I tried it again, looked a bit longer so possibly she would notice anything. But I got the feeling that it didn't even affect her. In fact, she started another conversation about other guys she liked and it made me feel really terrible.

Once I have feelings for a girl it gets so strong that I wonder if it is normal. I keep thinking about it, keep failing to talk about feelings and use forums to get rid of them. Keep checking her facebook to find out where she is at (no I'm not a stalker) Keep thinking about how I could take a next step with her but fail to do so in practice because she doesn't share the same feeling or because I don't send a clear sexual message to her in my approach

I can't separate sexual desire from respect/love and I would never have sex with someone I'm not very in love with. It makes me feel less of a man tbh because all my friends (male or female) want to have sex with people they barely know.
2 weeks ago this young girl I like met told me how guys thought they could get her in bed after 1 week and it made her feel bad. The same guy who offered sex to her has managed to sleep with her 7 days later, and meanwhile she says it's very normal to have sex with someone you've seen 5 times in 3 weeks.

I don't understand, and it makes me feel less of a man. I could never do that to any girl and I wish I could stop caring. I'm starting to think that something is wrong with me. It affected my self esteem in the past and made me quit college for a while.

What can I do? Im considering taking professional help to build self esteem and talk through all of this. I am tired of being the shoulder to cry on and want to have the balls to get into something sexual. The only way to achieve that goal (I think) is to be confronted with rejection once in a while and to try building sexual contact as many times as possible.
I'm full of using porn to temper my sexual desires. I'm not the type of guy who would go to the hookers but I need to work at my problem very fast and hope that someone could help me out

read the book "no more mr.nice guy"
and yes theres a book called after your nick

My nick is a cliché indeed. I think I'm a virgin because I lack self esteem. I'm overcaring and help people out at the cost of myself. That is unattractive

But occasionally people made the assumption it's because I don't have balls. I do have balls, I just care too much to abuse girls.
A former friend of mine told me he thinks my testosterone is low, because I don't have a lot of body hair and lack confidence. Those things make me think there's something wrong about me. That girls friendzone me because I wouldn't have a male appearance (even though I do not believe that)
But he has a point about hair and I'd like to find out

your friend doesnt know dick about testosterone or body hair. consider not having body hair a good thing. NEVER let one persons comment change the way u think about yourself.

i dont think its that u care too much i think its that ur afraid of rejection so u do what u do in order to keep from getting rejected.

u start off as friends which is what PUAs do, but u keep goin with it. at some point u must turn on the sexual side of it.

havin sex w a girl isnt degrading to her. its human nature to just wana get fucked.

forget any girl ur friends w already. they already see u as a friend nice guy and its a pain in the ass to change that. start over, approach new women using the techniques talked about in this forum. read "the game". read "no more mr nice guy" - get over urself and dont be afraid to let people find out who u really are.

thanks for the inspiring post. I do not doubt my sexuality, I doubt if the avg man is a horny as I am. But I do have so little body hair that people notice and make comments about it. I started making these links automatically.

Your point about fear of rejection is very correct. In college I have skipped like 50% of the courses because of fear of failure. " If I don't go, I can't make a mistake" was my slogan. But it got out of hand and I had to reorganise. It seems that I have to do the same with women.
In a few weeks I'm going on holiday with a bunch of similar friends. Ideal environment to practice PUA skills. I think I should realize my insecurities and try to face them as many times as possible. I've never been rejected bc I never tried anything. Some booze has helped me a lot in the past, I've had several opportunities because of it. I'm very social and seem confident in the first approach but ger very nervous once it can get sexual. I think that is normal to some point, otherwise sex and kissing would be boring

About sex being degrading. That might not be the word I had in mind. But going for sex without knowing all about a girl is very respectless in my opinion. It is very natural but unlike 99% of the guys I can not have sex with someone I'm not very in love with. And reading through these forums, I think many posters aren't able to feel those emotions as hard as I can. I've been sick of 1 girl for months and I started to think I was sick in my head. Because I had never seen anybody feel so bad about it for so long. My self esteem was totally based on her and I realize that that is wrong

10 days ago the girl was saying " He wants to sleep with me and doesn't even know my last name. I hate it when guys think I'm easy" It made me feel good, as if I could relate to her

I went out to a local club with the same girl (who was about to dump him the day after the conversation) a few days later.
"Well, before I was going to break up I saw him again and he was so hot I just couldn't do it. He still wants to sleep with me but hey, after 14 days that is normal"

She didn't tell what exactly happened but the bottom line was that she would sleep with him anyway (underaged) and that she realizes that it will be over in a few weeks.

I couldnt believe it. Last time I spoke to her she had gained value for me and yesterday it made me wonder if I was the boring guy or she is a slut. Guess the truth is somewhere in the middle

one person said u have little body hair, a few people mention it, who CARES?!?! i pluck my eyebrows, wax my back and chest, shave my face and get rid of hair in a few other places if u know what i mean. i wish little body hair was my case. its when u let people make u feel insecure about it is ur problem, not the hair. people do it to make themselves feel better. knockin u down puts them higher. when someone mentions it just laugh it off and act like its a good thing, like ur glad to hav lil hair cuz being hairy is GROSS! -

also...

so u think u met your soulmate? someone who cares about u more than she cares abut herself? no one like that exists. u put all ur stock in 1 chick and u see where that gets u? itll get u that every time. u have to be strong on ur own before u can be there for someone else. ur lookin for a deep connection and thats fine, and no one is askin u to bang girls u dont wana bang, but dont put ur emotions on the table to someone else to handle, doing that alone is not gona ensure they handle them with care.

youll have to meet hundreds of girls b4 u meet somone u have a super deep connection with, which is good cuz thatll make it more meaningful. that way youll KNOW shes what u want cuz u already seen the rest.

also u dont need to run credit checks and background searches on these girls just to kiss them or get a bj. its not respectless... whats respectless is what u give urself. u listen to this girl talk about another dude, waiting for her to make it easy one u and take u by the hand and so ok now bang me. she wants a guy who is alpha. take control of ur emotions, ur reality and let her see how awesome it is, then YOULL be the guy shes talkin about wanting to fuck.

that slogan u mentioned? fuck that. it sucks. never say that again. come up w a new one, even if u dont believe it yet. and repeat it.

getn sexual for the first time is a lil awkward, so what, if it was easy it wouldnt be worth doin. do it and get it over with. a lot of what i said u already know, but i just confirmed that its all true. now that u know this, make the proper changes and own ur emotions.

No thats not what "PUAs do", Most PUAs Run as soon as the "Frie" part of Friend is mentioned.

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DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

well every1 has their own style but i meant when opening a set you dont hit on them, you start a conversation on an interesting topic, which is something a "friend would do" -- as for u, i dont know what u do.

i talk to them with the intent of NOT hitting on them, but the intent to FUCK THEM!

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DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

No offence dude but that sounds like my former buddies who claim to have sex with hundreds of girls while in reality they had 4 of them.
How do YOU talk to a girl with the intent to fuck her brains out then? I think you're gonna get slapped a lot.

" Hi, wow you seem nice. Want to get it on tonight?"

I want to sleep with her too, soo badly. But I find it hard to make that clear without giving girls the impression that it's all I'm looking for. Right now I keep profiling myself as the friend and I really don't want to. As soon as I like some girl I do it automatically and it's a pain in the ass

When you go after a girl, you make it very clear that you DO NO WANT to be her friend? From the start? Or you start as friends and then make sure you want to fuck her brains out?

I make it clear my intent in the first 5mins of the approach, if she wants to fuck she will stay if she doesnt she can say no, goodbye. sure i wont quit but im not gonna commit suicide if it doesnt work or i dont fuck HERR!

IF YOU WANT MORE HELP,
Read Cairan's "Shock n Awe" and Read the GW Method.
READ AND REREAD THAN READ AGAIN!

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DISCLAIMER: All things said/suggested by "civilian" are strictly for entertainment and general information purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. I accept no Liability for such comments or suggestions whatsoever.

yea u have to make it clear at some point that ur not a friend, youre a force to be reckoned with and shes gota earn your attention. you have standards for yourself and the women youre involved with. if you convey this than they will be attracted to you and you wont have to say, lets get it on tonight.

i mentioned being a friend as just a mindset to use when approaching a hb9 or hb10. forget it cuz you have other things to work on besides how to handle 9s or 10s.

book to read - evolution of desire by david m. buss. --- i think itll help w ur hang ups on sexuality (i know ur not gay) and where it all originates (from men and women). even if u read the first few chpts i think itll put shit in perspective for you. dont just wish shit was different, make it different.

Thanks a lot man. Tomorrow I am leaving home to go to a festival. It was on the news that the number of one night stands over there is alarming. Perfect area for me to practice my skills. Some beer will help. I already have my condoms packed

I'll buy that book when I get back, guaranteed. Same goes for the shock and awe book, I've heard a lot about that one before.

@ don't wish it was different, make it different:
Bingo, you can't say it more clearly than that. I'll keep you posted when the festival is over. I expect some serious stuff to happen over there

Keep it up my friends

Honestly, I don't think there is anything wrong with you. In fact, I think it is admirable that you care for women and only want to be intimate with women you truly care about. I think some people are just like that. My brother, for example, married his high school girlfriend. He's only been with one woman his entire life!!! I couldn't imagine being satisfied with that, but that's because I'm a different kind of person. Just maybe sit back and ask yourself if this shoe your trying to put on really fits...

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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure."