This is a really interesting as I have this situation going on with me at the moment at work - I'm having trouble in that she wont come down my end of the office to visit (its a big office and takes 45secs to min to walk from one end to the other). I'll stop by hers a couple of times a week.

Some back ground on her - she broke up with her husband a couple of months ago, she is someone that I have had a big thing for since i met her several years ago. she is one of those that will give rise to a paradox that exists within game where she will reduce your game to that of a mere AFC, she is that hot. I'm slowly learning to control my frame with her.

when i swing past her's, she gives positive body language, will turn around to face me, locks herself in crossing her legs, plays with her hair - she just wont initate conversation??? last week i ignored her for a few days, she then added me on facebook.

i cant help but think i'm satisfying her own validation???

Probably. Crossing legs isn't positive body language. For a girl, it's probably neutral, if a guy does it, it's negative. Playing with hair is something a girl might do when she's engaged in a tedious task, too. I get the feeling she doesn't visit you because she's not attracted to you. You said she reduced your game to AFC status, too. Adding you on facebook isn't a clear IOI, she might have added a group of people from the office that day. I don't mean to piss on your parade, but if you don't look at your performance objectively, you won't understand why your game is failing.

You've known her for several years, you're firmly in the friendzone, if not the acquaintance-zone. Sure, she's no longer married (?), but in her mind your status hasn't changed at all, you're the same guy you've been the past years. This could work to your advantage if you've never spent time with her outside the office. Invite her out for drinks. You have to be with her outside of that setting, that will make you less familiar to her and she'll have to re-evaluate you; especially if you dress and act a little different. If you've been outside the office with her and still been the "friend from work" already, you're pretty much cemented in that role and should avoid her completely until she tries to establish contact, which might be never.