First post, great info here..


Im after a 7.5 who is a freak which is what really has me hunting. Ive known this girl since highschool and we have great rapport, we usually talk every other night until 3am on through facebook chat or aim. Lately talk has been getting dirtier and dirtier but never direct, about what kind of things we are going to explore on her body.... she initiates a lot of this talk and i just play along through double entoundras and such....always subtle analogies, never direct.

She flaked out on me the first time i asked her to go out on a hike (i just wanted to break the ice)...she told me she got called into work, i think it was her nerves gettng to her in reality.

Anyway we finally went on a few dates, and when we were alone i got the best head i ever had, hj, tittyf*ck, and wispered in my ear to f**k her face....and she swallowed...looking me straight in the eyes. I tried to get down her pants but she told me she was out of order that week.

We continued to stay in touch and flirt sexually until she was free to hang out again...
One day, chatting aim, she wasnt acting the same (not as flirtatious) so i told her not to talk to me... she got upset and admitted that she is a nervous wreck around me....that i intimidate her ....axiety is a 9 on a scale of 10. Until we get physical...she says all the nerves disappear. when im with her, i dont sense any of this..unless we are in public...she gets pretty quiet. My guess is, she doesnt feel good enough for me.


Im the strong silent type, good looks, tall, in shape, educated, good job, no vices, intelligent, unique style, but still very humble and quiet....never cocky in person. Ive been with 9s and 9.5s in the past who have been the ones to approach me. This 7.5 im after, knows that im not a player but shes sees the attention from other attrative women i get just through social networking.

She initiated our last planned date, which she was esentially DTF. She wanted me to "beat her ass" for flaking out on me that one time. she didnt want to go to dinner or a movie...she just wanted to watch a movie at my place. GREAT!

She texts me an hour before i get out of work and tells me "i cant make it tonight, but its more reason to beat my ass harder, hearts!"

So i show a little weakness and reply with just a "=("

A few days after she text me back saying "sorry bout the other day, let me know when your free this week to make me nervous and inflict the wrath on me?"
I didnt reply, but i called her one night later, didnt leave a message. She hasnt returned my call or acknwledged that i called yet, its been 5 days.

My guess is...

1. other guys in the picture

2. she flakes out on me because she doesnt feel sexy enough at the moment for what she knows is going to happen (sex)

3. shes afraid to fall in love with me only to get her heart broken when another 9 comes around


Im positive this girl is into me, but im afraid to come off too weak and soft if i change my vibe.

how should i handle this being she openly admitted that she is intimidated by me???

One would hope.
You're AFTER her...
You're thinking about her.


Long time familiar...

Be careful. I think you two are "friends".
Rewrite:
Friends w/Benefits.
No, shit test.
Ewwww period.
=p

Good shit. Good momentum.
...
^ That usually means something went amiss.

I wonder what happened...

One day, chatting aim, she wasnt acting the same (not as flirtatious) so i told her not to talk to me... she got upset and admitted that she is a nervous wreck around me....that i intimidate her ....axiety is a 9 on a scale of 10.[/quote]

This sounds like the situation I'm in right now. Either:
A)She's in love with you and afraid to admit in
B)You didn't do something right.

I put my money on A.
...I think any following advice will be limited, as I am new to this situation as well. I'll just tell you what I know so far, and admit that I don't know what I am not yet familiar with.
Meaning...she's comfortable around you until things get sexual?

I don't understand. Clarify.
Yep, I'm drawing blanks and ? signs.
You sound like me.
Ok...my GUESS...is that she doesn't feel worthy enough for you. That's my GUESS. I don't know 100%. Don't 100% go with me. I'd say I'm 80% sure it's her not feeling worthy. I leave the official verdict up to someone who knows 100%.
Well, it's official...she's into you.
Shit test/"I want to fuck you, but I'm making you wait for it, making you go crazy for me"
Acceptable, but didn't work much.
And you should have invited her over to watch "another movie"


Idiot. You don't have to play games anymore.
She probably backwards rationalized her overtly sexual comment, and probably felt she creeped you out, and is going through mental anguish.

Good job, you killed the momentum.
Don't guess, do.
But, for quote's sake
No. Perhaps there are "other guys", but your top on her list.
No, you didn't seize momentum. She's regretting some choice words, all because you "blinked". =\.
Possibly.

You're thinking. Stop it and just go.
Stop thinking. She's not intimidated. You're just thinking too much.

You lost momentum. Regain some momentum. Roll the ball, forward. Invite her to a dinner somewhere. Take her to some stupid ass park. Get her mind off the PAST, and on to YOU.

And stop thinking on irrelevant bullshit; it doesn't work.

I had this kind of trouble this week, me and some girl were both thinking the same thing so didn't contact each other. Accidental bumped into each other, and i said...

are you going to keep fobbing me off? and she was like no you keep fobbing me off,
so i was sarcastic about how i think she has been treating me, then she started sucking up to me.

Its hard to give in after everything you have learnt, but with self conscious girls, or ones who aren't totally sluts, they do sometimes need re assuring, and being nice to them and soppy for a bit isn't too bad imo. Then if shes interested she will wana do something, if not, just say, fine ok, thanks. and end it like that.

I would just say, why are you fobbing me off? , see what she says.

_________________
Law of Attraction

rune youre brutally honest my friend

good attitude

rune is right. You say you're the strong silent type so you must do your duty and lead her through the anxiety she is feeling. Maybe thats why she felt fine when you guys got physical? you led her through it. now do it again, and not just physical but emotionally when you're with her.

I like the idea, as posted above, of leading her through the anxiety. Make it easy for her. Even tell her you are going to take care of everything.

An idea to get the ball rolling again with her, is to initiate with some qualification:

"I miss the way you _____. Lets get together to ______."

I may even try to initiate with a phone call because texts are too easy to ignore if she has written you off as too good for her.

Lastly, I know how you are feeling about, "...I'm afraid to come off too weak and soft if I change my vibe." But after I read the Apocalypse Opener I realized something:
99% of PUA stuff I have read insists you just have to "BE A MAN" "DON'T BE A WUSS" "MAKE HER WANT YOU" "ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE" which in my case made me become distant. For me, these strategies of not showing interest, brought me closer to sitting in a booth waiting for girls to come to me, then it brought me to the ultimate test of confidence, the "AO"(ultimate vulnerability).
All these ideas certainly have value. However, they must have been initially created for the overly needy, kiss as type; whom had to build their game from nothing. The more I internalize these ideas, the worse my game gets.
Calibration goes both ways, lets not be afraid to experiment.

Now that we are quoting David DeAngelo (jlizzle, you read too much of his stuff ), I can add one: What a women says, is what she thinks. What a women does, is how she feels.
Your girl likes you. Or at least, she thinks she does. I don't understand what happened between you almost doing her, and her flaking the date. Did you over-DHV by not complementing her?

I've been in a very similar situation. The girl completely sucking up after a sarcastic comment, the girl flaking on me... Yeah, I've been there.
I eventually got it going by calling her out on her flaky behavior ('you calling of each time isn't cool'). You could qualify her a little more, to take away the insecurity and to spice up her commitment to your 'relation'.

_________________
Game the world.

UPDATE:

after waiting a while..she intiated again and set another date...i jokingly played it as if she were going to avoid me yet again...

she randomly sent me a text tonight "i dont want to repeat history, thats why ive been a little avoidant"

i replied with "????"

she replied : "we used to talk and hangout and then you disappeared for years and now out of left field you come back around"

i replied "call me"

she said "i was afraid youd say that, i dont know if im prepd to talk about it"


so heres the inside info i might have not included earlier...a few years back...i hung out with this girl in question 5 times at most and we'd chat a lot on aim but never on the phone.
just casual friends with benifits.
than another girl came around and pursued me...i happened to fall into a 3 year relationship with the other girl (now, my ex).

i get the feeling that this broke her heart (girl in question), shes afraid ill do it again, i cant blame her. but i didnt choose to be with one girl over the other, it just so happened that the other girl asked me to be her bf and i gave it a shot.

so now what do i do to keep her around if she sees me as a heartbreaker? have i lost all hope?

she was afraid to call me and talk about it tonight.