attraction is fading how to I get it back?



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:43 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:12 pm
Posts: 29
Hey! I've been dating this girl for about 2 month now, it's been awesome. But since 2 weeks she stoped calling me, text me or even kiss me... I eventually called her up and asked her what was her deal and that I'd rather leave her if she was acting like this again. She said she didn't want to break up. I saw her today, she seemed pretty happy to see me, but she avoided my kisses several times...

what does it mean?

I think the attraction is fading or had faded away, how do I get it back?

Peace.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:13 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:36 am
Posts: 51
Hi, well, I'm not sure if you lost attraction or not, but I would say there is definitely something wrong. The no calling and especially no kissing is a definite sign.

I would say this is the time for more direct conversation. Not "you should be kissing me, etc" but more along the lines of "tell me what is bothering you. I noticed your behaviour is changed and i want to understand why"

now she may tell you all kinds of things, from her goldfish died, to her ex-bf came over and slept with her and she's feeling guilty, but you need to understand why she is acting that way and if she wants to stay.

key is to talk about her feelings, then you interpret what they mean..

after two months, you should be able to have a deeper talk like that with her without appearing wussy or scaring her off.

also, have you slept with her? your age may play into this, but that is a factor as well. she may want to know what you are feeling / thinking too, so have that sorted in your own head before you talk to her.

on an execution level, i would say if you were texting her for those two weeks, then stop all contact for 3 days. use that time to sort in your head what you feel/ want, and what you want to understand from her. then get together with her and talk (* must be face-to-face *)

if you werent calling her for those 2 weeks, and it was just dead space between you two, then you can initiate the talk as soon as you are ready.

i think you will gain a lot of insight by directly talking to her here. just dont forget that you are valuable too and so are your needs, desires, and goals. make the focus about learning where she is, but dont neglect yourself when making any decisions.

(and i would recommend, although its very hard, not reacting to whatever she tells you, but accepting it and taking at least one night to think about it before making any decisions)

and, also, i would wait a couple days, and see if anybody else on the forum has any input..

good luck..


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