Hey,
So I'm having difficulting finding IOI's and gear-shifting.
This girl I like has put me into a LJBF box.

The night in question is yesterday night, she called me out of the blue and said she was in my neighborhood getting her hair done and wanted to come see me while she's close.
She met me and my friends at a bar by my house and when we met we had a long hug, (IOI?). She sat with us and I got really nervous, but thankfully my friends wing-maned it for me.
They told her "Hey, Jay's been telling us about this great personality test involving a cube, you wanna try it?" She agreed and I snapped out of my nervous twitter-patted mind and began to DHV.
The test went well and was very accurate. She even blushed a little bit when I described her love life and the flaws and perks in it. She was eating my every word.
After the test she sat facing me the whole time, and even had her feet on my chair, IOI?
At the end of the night, my friends decided we should get a night-cap at the strip-club up the street. This girl I'm gaming [b][u]hates[/u][/b] strip clubs and has a nasty eye for anyone who goes there.
I asked her if I could walk her to her car, since she parked far away, and she refused. She said it was too out of the way for me, and I should just go with my friends.
I'm not sure if the Strip Club talk made her think less of me, or what. She knows I go all the time, and she's teased me about it, but never to the point where it seemed she was actually offended. I dunno... IOI?

What I really want advice with is how to develop the lust factor? How do I get her to want me to go home with her? My gear-shift is messed up and I need advice. Thank you!

_________________
Beware the wrath of a patient man.

I think I read Sinn post somewhere not to be too concerened about IOIs. Assume they are there. If you are not too savy at picking them up, by the time you see one she already flung 25 and she is wondering why you are not moving in. By the time you see three, she has lost interest.

Start kino early. Light touches, nothing commited, and just escalate. Star a thumb war, whatever. Ask her 'is that a cat scratch on the back of your hand' and reach and grab it and let it go. Whatever.

About your short FR, if you wanted to walk her to her car, walk her to her car. Don't ask her, DO IT. Worst case do the 'I want to show you something before you go', grab her hand walk to her car. She will ask what. Don't answer her right away. Then you can ask her the 'you are not a thief are you?' ' Good, *(give her a penny or whatever)* this is my fovorite penny. I'll let you have it for now. But I will want it back. ' or any routine you might want to go with. (Search Origami dolar ring on youtube... give her one of those! It's great)

a rule of thumb with kino ive found is, initally within the 15-30 seconds some sort of "non commited" kino as the j said.
the eariler you start touching the more comfortable they become.
and sooner at that.

hope that helps

cheers.
- XaV

You can't watch water boil, my man. Looking for IOIs is not the objective here. For clarity, the hug and feet thing are pretty much indicators of comfort, not sexual interest. The teasing thing... well, you should be doing that to her!

I think your main problem right now is paralysis by analysis. You need to throw some bait out there now and again to see where you stand.

Engage her emotions, make fun of her. Allude to sex artfully, if you can. You just have to get her in that mindset.

Oh yeah, and the sooner, the better. You don't want to get stuck in the LJBF box for long. Bad for your self-esteem, bad for attraction.

Just think about the jealousy you'd be creating if you were actually out n-closing strangers instead of leaving her out to the strip club. You might even find someone you like better than her

I agree, walking her to the car should have been like, "Here, ima walk you to your car" *Hold out your arm for her to link.* Asking is not the alpha male thing to do.

As for the kino part, I usually just Kino whenever i can get a chance to. For example, if i get her laughing, ill just innocently put my arm on her shoulder and laugh w/ her. And then after a while, if you feel like theres a connection, do the "Mystery Knee Test." Cross your legs while shes sitting beside u, take her hand and put it on ur knee. If she moves it off, punish her by saying, "Alright, you're losing me.." or something along those lines and give her the cold body language and look away. Then if she tries to reinitiate the conv, not only is that an IOI, but you can just repeat the leg test, and see if she complies. usually they do. and at this point, whenever u wanna kino lightly, you can just touch her hand thats on ur knee. squeeze and w/e you wanna do with it.