Based on senior prom

So anyways for senior prom i brought my girlfriend for about a year at the time with me but instead of taking a limo on account that my friend was trying to hook up with his date and i had the last spot on the limo i let him take. Besides i wanted to drive my girlfriend's 68 mustang convertable. Well pictures took forever so we didnt have like anytime to hook up before hand so on the ride up she starts makin out with the side of my face and my neck and im trying to stay on the road so im like "hey CC im not tryin to crash right now" so she stops for like two minutes and then she comes back up on me but this time she's startin to reach in my pants so i take my eyes off the road for a couple seconds to make out with her a little and when i look back there's this no parking sign that i ramp at like 40 putting a huge dent and barely keep the car on the road at this point Carly's totally pissed and it takes me 2 hours to get her back in the mood at which point she's like i'll just play off like it was already there which probably got me out of a couple gs of repair

I know i probably stuffed some unnecessary info so any editing would be a help or just say if its bad in general

You got some DHV factors in it, but spice it up a bit.

Good:
-but instead of taking a limo on account that my friend was trying to hook up with his date and i had the last spot on the limo i let him take

Change this one:
-which probably got me out of a couple gs of repair

You should go with something like:

My friend felt a bit guilty, cause if hadnt given him my spot in the limo it would never have happend, so he helped me fix the car. Nice to have a friendship were you help each other. Im always there for him, he's always there for me.
Then you'll make a smooth transition into:
Do you have any really good friends?

Then you can create rapport and build comfort:
"So if your bestfriend really liked this guy, and he started hitting on you would you walk away even though you thought he was super hot?"
"Would you donate any of your organs if it would help your friend?"
"Whats the best thing a close friend of yours has done for you?"

Chicks loves to talk about this!

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

in this case i would agree altho as juggler says;

interview questions = bad. Statements = good.

Friends talk in statements, by stating things like, you look like you go to X college, you are creating (more easily) a sense of rapport. some of the cahnges to the story sound too much like quizzing her, how about just saying "you look like a person who has close friends" - you could link this into a cold reading, or alternatively start with the cube and when it come sto teh bit about friends lead into this story...

sorted!

x

_________________
Pascal.

A PUA is for life, not just for christmas

It is not too bad as DHV stories go... However, sometimes less is more. Do you have enough inner game to make it believable? If you do then it is a great story, just need a bit more spice (as stated).

I would tone down the sex part, its bragging if she cant keep her hands off you. But you might also just play it down as you tell it mimicing her or exagregating (be very obvious that it is a joke).

Let us know how it works for you.