So I met this girl the other week at college from the same city that I am from (didn't know her before). We have been talking a lot and she usually smiles after I talk to her/playfully mke fun of her. We watched some movie (chickflick) in our common room and she sat next to me and we made jokes. I like her, but problem is she has a bf from her hometown who doesn't go to our college. She's a good, nice girl, but I'm guessing that a long distance relationship isn't going to last. She hasn't told me she has a bf, but I found out that they got together halfway through the summer officially. Any advice on what to do? Don't have oneitis, but I like her and think we could go far and stay together for a long time.

To add on just a bit. Today we were st some horrible orientation thing for a out an hour and she was supposed to meet up with some guy she knew but ended up talking/staying with me for the entire time and blowing him off. The other night we all went out to dinner (like 10 kids) and she was talking to a guy she had met before a bit and walked with him, but I don't think she smiled as much as she does with me. Maybe this is the way she is, but she's more of a reserved good, smart girl.


Any advice?

you're getting needy

step 1) meet more girls
step 2) make a move on this girl if you want her, just act as if she doesn't have a boyfriend (this is the assumption she has right now) she is clearly interested, if she brings up her bf, just let her know you don't care in some way and will keep it a secret, if she starts flaking you then she probably doesn't want to cheat, then you know to move on
step 3) meet more girls

you sure are rationalizing alot of positive qualities and focusing on a girl you haven't even kissed yet, why are you playing it so safe? it's just a girl, hit on her and try it on before you ''fall in love'' because of being needy

I have only talked with her for a few hours and still talk with other girls and party with other people. How far do I go if she has a bf. She honestly in no way seems like the girl who would cheat, but I don't wanna get friendzoned. The other day we were chilling in the common room and after I left she left like a minute later even though there were like 5 other people there.

Any other advice on how to hand,e this would be great!

Any other tips? The other thing she did is give me her number without asking, someone else asked her and I just took out my phone creepin the book while she was talking to him and then she said do you want it/lemme give it to you.

We are definitely kida close already, just don't know how to advance myself/not fall into friendzone.

what advice are you looking for? just keep doing what you're doing and play it safe!!

^ is that what you want to hear? cause it's not likely going to get you anywhere, you seem to already realize this

this girl is showing signs of interest, just go for it, if she brings up the boyfriend, just let her know it isn't and issue for you and you will keep it a secret, take as much responsibility for the whole thing as you can, if she isn't down with that, then there you go, you'll have to rain cheque her for when she is single, there really isn't more to it then that, she is either available to you, or she isn't, getting needy about it and focusing on her and trying to find some magical way to change the circumstances that are more then likely already determined at this point is a waste of time, energy and emotion

you said you only talked to her for a bit, then why is this such a big deal to you? go meet some other girls that don't have boyfriends and try it on with them, and try it on with this girl as well, if it works out with her and she cheats on her bf for you, great, if not, who cares theres other girls and you can probably hit it up later

You don't have anything to lose. Obviously she is interested in you, or at least she was. Opposite sex initiates with the opposite sex for that reason. If she wants to find a buddy, she will ultimately find another female. She will have more similar interests and views with another female. You take too much time- friendzone.

_________________
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I've had good talks with her and like her but if I ask her out or to do something that she sees as a date, I doubt she'd accept due to her boyfriend and then she sees my interest and like that the string has resched the cat. That's my process anyway and why I was looking for help. Don't want to make it awkward and ask her our only to get denied due to her current relationship status (I know it won't be a yes without asking, if she was single I'd already be on her, just don't think she'd cheat). Any advice would help, and the advice given has made me reconsider.

cat string is simple man, you don't let her know you can't change your mind... that is all, it doesn't mean never show interest, it means don't demonstrate that you are unwilling to walk away and find a new girl, she has to feel that anxiety that you could change your mind about her at any time, leave her in suspense, leave her chasing that approval, let her work for it, you like her, but you're not sure how much, you haven't fully made up your mind

qualification is just that, ''qualification'' you let her know she is qualified, but it's a game of push and pull, not pull and pull and pull, and not all push with no pull

you can't leave her in the dark and expect she will just want to fuck you, doesn't work like that, the dick has to leave the pants at some point

and if she will fuck you without a boyfriend, trying to do it when she has one will most likely make little difference for when she is single later, she either will currently cheat, or she won't currently cheat, there is no sneaky way to do this, she has to be willing, and as long as you let her know you'll be discrete and you lead (make it your plan, your idea), then she can justify to herself that it wasn't her fault, but if she is not wanting to cheat, pretty much nothing you can do man, some cheat, some don't, compliance tells you everything

on top of that, you are doing yourself absolutely no favors by focusing on this girl if she is not interested in sleeping with you

mystery method is a 2 day system, ideally you follow the game plan, go from a1-c1, bridge to a day 2, work your c2-s2 and close on day 2, then follow up with s3 and manage your expectations, that's how MM works, obviously you're bound to run into some kinks and girls that are not interested, but that is your ideal situation, a day 2 close, if it takes you longer then 2 weeks to get the logistics for sex, or she won't comply with a kiss within 3 dates, then just drop her, it's just a waste of time and likely won't end in sex

not run a2 for weeks and weeks and weeks,

3 ioi's and a3 starts, and in a3, she knows you are attracted to her, simple as that, but you qualify her for reasons other then her looks (you blatantly bait qualities out of her so you can hit on her when you are getting ioi's and have a justification for why besides her looks)

if you're going to do the MM, do it how it is supposed to be done

also, not every girl can be gotten, she has a boyfriend it's no big deal if she flakes on you, just means she doesn't want to cheat (just cause she is currently unavailable doesn't mean she won't be available later), so you just go for other girls in that time, and when you know she's single, ask her out again and put the mack down, hopefully by then, your game will be tighter, some good old indifference with the ability to move on when a girl isn't screening well, will do you some good

getting needy about the idea of getting one girl when things are looking grim, usually doesn't help your cause, it will just make you obsess over the girl more until you catch a case of oneitis, and all that will do is prevent you from meeting more girls and setting yourself up with more options, that keeps your penis in your hand, rather then in a vagina, and can start to really mess with your head, when you ''fall in love'' with a girl who doesn't even want to hang out with you, don't let yourself fall into that trap

GOOD LUCK

ya today she asked me to join her for dinner so shes definitely somewhat interested imho. If I ask her out and she says she has a boyfriend, will our relationship/dorm relationship (word gets around the dorm fast, getting rejected would kinda kill my status) be awkward? Or should we do things together that aren't official dates (go to football game together/hang out there, eat together every once in awhile) and then build up with her and try and get some kino in and then go for it when shes single?


By the way- I have talked with a ton of girls and when shes around me girls have come up to me and started convos and I dont have oneitis, but I do like her.

you do what ever you feel you want to do, but really you are making this more of a big deal then it probably actually is, most people are fairly self centered, do you even know or care about any other guys and what they try to do with their dicks?, do you even know of any guys who tried to hook up with any girls that had boyfriends and failed?

most people don't really care about other people unless they are directly affected by those people, so she may care, her boyfriend may care, but for the most part most people around you most likely don't really care at all, it's just business as usual, keep to your self, stick to the daily mundane average routine, talk to the people connected to them, that is all, most people just fall into this sort of rhythm

how exactly do you believe this is going to have a giant adverse affect?, is your life going to end?, is this chick and her boyfriend both part of your immediate inner circle of friends?, are they all going to gang up and rape you cause you have a crush on a girl from the group? will this damage your social standing with all of your closest friends to the point that they outcast you from the group?, if not, what's the big deal?

look man, here's the thing, this chick has a boyfriend, you have spent more then an hour with her, it's extremely likely she is already aware if she would sleep with you or not, boyfriend or no boyfriend, there no secret magical kino shit you have to do to get her interested, there is no secret magic words you have to say, she already has had time to get to know you, she knows what you are like, you just have to get the right logistics, get her horny in a setting she is comfortable with, and make it happen

she is either up for it, or she isn't, if you are too uncomfortable with the possibilities of something astronomically terrible happening for you to try to sleep with a her, then by all means don't do it

but the reality is this, rejection is awkward for guys who care, if you can't talk to girls, and it is a difficult task for you to go up to a new girl that you have never met in your life and let her know you are attracted to her, and try to arrange the logistics for sex, then it is probably awkward for you in your social circles also to do this, and rejection is awkward for you in both areas, cause chances are you don't cold approach effectively or often, there for you can't warm approach in a social circle situation effectively, not everyone is always going to like you, and you can't predict the future of what will happen, but you can handle what happens as a result of what you do, if you've talked to a few girls and actually hit on them, you've probably realized by now that nothing bad really ever happens besides dis-interest and girls not having sex with you (and some do TAADAA), unless you are doing some extremely weird over the top shit that is either extremely rude/insulting, or borderline crosses people's personal boundaries you can pretty much assume that 99.9% of the time, nothing terrible will happen to you, if not just imagine you were in her shoes, and you had some girl approach you, and you had a girlfriend, how angry would you be?, especially if you thought she was cute, furious with her and on a warpath to destroy her life right?

if this girl is a good friend of yours, and you don't want to risk losing her as a friend, then just stay her friend man, don't worry about it, but at least try to challenge yourself and step up to other girls that you don't know, so that in the future you care less about what people will think

and if you would rather sleep with her then get friend zoned, then just go for it, try to sleep with her, let her know you're not friend material, boyfriend, no boyfriend, doesn't really matter, if she wants to cheat and you make it clear you won't judge her for that, and you will keep it hush hush as well take responsibility and arrange/orchestrate the whole thing, then if she is down, it will go down

simple as that

also, talking to girls = talking to girls, trying to sleep with girls does not = talking to girls, between guys and girls, someone has to initiate and go first, someone has show interest first, someone has to make the first move, someone has to kiss first, someone has to make the move to isolate first, someone has to lead the situation... that someone is the guy pretty much all of the time, girls can give you hints, they can make it obvious, but if you don't take the hints and lead at some point, they will just lose interest

You are taking too much time. I've been in a similar situation. She is just being friendly with you. You're over analyzing.

I think at this time, you should just ask her out. If she says she has a BF, then tell her you are not planning on getting in a relationship with her.

Build some comfort with her, if you go on more dates, escalate. If its really meant to be, you might get into her pants.

But to be honest, I'm not sure if she's into you.

Don't want to sound like an asshole, but stop acting like such a pussy! She's a college girl & you aren't meant to know she has a boyfriend. Either make your move and try and tap it or give up and be her friend. Stop obsessing over her having a boyfriend when she hasn't even bothered to tell you about it. That should show you how highly she values him at this stage.

Ya I see what you are saying. I guess I should invite her over and invite her to football games or whatever and build some time, get to use a little kino, and try to be close to her. I've never been in a situation before where the girl was taken, so I guess its all a little knew, but I'd agree with you.

Get her out for a walk in the park, some bowling, few drinks, whatever but get her out alone just you and her.

Tease her, kino and kiss her.

The rest will either follow or it won't.