Hey guys, anyways a bit about this situation

First of all I got out of a LTR 6 months ago and am getting back in the "game"

I am not shy about opening with girls, I can make them laugh easily, can hold conversation,
I am in school (Law school) and at school library met an undergrad girl (not from law school she in her 4th year of undergrad I believe she said)

main problem with my game is being a "nice guy".. because I am a nice guy at heart but have learned girls dont want a nice guy (but hard for me to avoid it)

well anyways I day gamed this girl at the library I was having a coffee working on my laptop she said if I could watch her stuff while she left. I said fine. when she came back I had to go to class. I thought she was cute and that I had a chance of picking her up so I decided I would make an approach. so I did a fairly direct approach, said hello talked for a min set up a meet (said to meet for coffee at the library's coffee shop later this week) she said sure and gave me the number by writing it down on a piece of paper for me.

took it and left

texting went fine , I follow the short and to the point texting style with the objective in mind. I try to avoid the long drawn out stuff, and I also simply dont got the time for it.

anyways met up with her for coffee 2 days later and talked. it was omly for about 20 mins then she said she had to go. and we left, she seemed like she had a decent time and said we should hang out again. Okay then, I was busy too as usual and had to go study / get ready for class again.

next day text her back, she responds right away with smiley faces and shit . send a couple back, asked her if she was down to go to the mall with me tomorrow (a friday) because I was gonna head over there to buy a new phone charger. said sorry no she was busy.

texted her on monday some nonsense about how was your weekend (i know kinda AFC but donno wtf else to do)

cold, no reply. She has been on her whats app I noticed so she obviously ignored it for whatever reason.


Now I know it is key to escalate and kino and stuff on the first date, but I really feel like I did not have a chance to. it was early and cold as hell with prolly the 34234245 millionth snow fall we have had this year in Ontario. My normal routine in the summer on first date's is to take the girl on a nice walk because you can easily start kino by grabbing their hand but this bullish*t weather is not conducive to my usual routine.
I know I went wrong here, but thought it was salvageable because she seemed at least interested in meeting up.

Should I try texting her again in the next couple days or so? I am going back to my home next week (Toronto which is not the same city where I study in) for our study break.

Why only 20 minutes? Did she give you a heads up or just abruptly state that she had to go?

I always side with logic on this (even though women are often illogical/irrational), in that I believe the girl will make more time if she wants to be there. 20 minutes seems really short, even by my standards of having a 1-hour date (and being the one to leave, not the other way around).

Did she propose alternative dates or just give you the "sorry I'm busy" ? If she just said sorry and left it at that, it's time to let this one go.

Sometimes you fuck up, sometimes you don't fuck up, and still see the same fucked up result. That's fine. Many times its not about what you got wrong, and more about her expectations. By that I mean, in this coffee date that you had, she may have just said "meh, why not its worth a try" with the hopes that you would wow her. We do this to women all the time. Part of our job is to get enough information from the girl to basically make an educated guess as to what she wants...this makes decisions easier for us and a more informed set of decisions regarding escalation/kino etc. BUT sometimes you just gotta wing it. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work, no big deal.

Either way, it looks like you have some of the important aspects of your game down (approach, # closing). Keep refining those areas but focus a bit more time on going on solid dates, framing, kino and DHV that will keep them sticking around a bit longer to see what you are about.

Also, leaving 20 min into a coffee date is bold. And its something the guy should be doing most of the time. I know its not 100% that she bailed on you, but a common tactic I use to combat a situation like yours is that I tell them prior to meeting that "Sorry, I have about an hour and then I have to take my niece to her recital" or something like that (I don't recommend lying...but either being vague or having a heart-tugging reason helps). This first of all puts a cap on the "date" which immediately takes pressure off of both of you. Second, it makes you look busy and active (good DHV). And lastly, hopefully, it leaves her wanting more (if you left enough of an impression).

Good luck man.

thanks for the reply

yeah she said it kind of abruptly, sayin she had to meet her friend for lunch before class.

the signs arent too good overall, but only thing that makes me think I might not be completely out yet is she was responding quickly and flirty the next day when i texted her. I did get the "sorry I am busy" though with no follow up.

I am thinking of trying to connect again and if no response ditch it and move on to other avenues.

btw, what is DHV? where can I learn more about these terms

Honestly, I wouldn't "try again." Because its ridiculous to think that because you made one last effort to get her attention shes gonna be like, "oh, well now that I know he's serious..." If she wants you, she'll come.

The abrupt "i gotta go" is a bad sign in any situation unless shes follows up with a text apologizing and promising to make it up to you. But I'm assuming she left and that was that right? She texts back because she likes the attention she's getting...people are wired like that. Lots of guys and girls have no feelings for some people yet semi-lead them on so that they're ego is continuously fed. Take that into consideration.

DHV is Displaying Higher Value. Essentially a humble brag.

Bad example: "I went to the gym for 2 hours today and washed it all down with a protein shake. My abs are going to be so chiseled for beach season."

Good example: "I've been getting so much ass lately...from dudes. Golds Gym can get pretty dicey if you know what I mean."

The point being, the person is making the gym assumption based on what you said. You don't need to tell her directly that you are working out, for example, to look good. Having said that, girls want men to look good and take care of themselves, so hearing about us going to the gym is just another thing she gets to check off on her list of criteria (if she finds value in working out. Some girls don't).

So be a bit self deprecating and funny while also alluding to a fact (that you work out, have a cool house/car etc.)

What is more important though, is getting a handle on what she values: money, fitness, music, charity-work...whatever. If you can do some DHV on these topics it will go a long way towards building solid rapport. Course, its tough to do this in a loud venue like a club.

The acronyms are all over the site and most are pretty standard in the PUA community so just do a few searches and you should be good to go.

GFTOW

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thanks for the feedback.