| Hello Everyone! I truly hope that everyone is doing well. I wanted to come back to you all with a great topic that I have been seeing a lot of on various forums, men's magazines, and in my email inbox.
"WHEN DO I CALL HER?" This question stems from the idea that we don't want to seem to eager or needy by phoning her right away. The theory is that you should wait a certain amount of time before you call her so that you don't off as clingy.
Most people have heard for the "3 Day Rule" or other similar guidelines out there. At first this sounds like a good idea to us logically minded guys. If we call the next day we seem needy which experience has taught us can be bad in the beginning portions of any relationship.
Is this true? Yes and No is the easy answer. Yes, the idea of coming across as needy or over eager is not a good idea. This can very easily send a girl warning signals in her brain and land you a one way ticket back to being single. The other part of this is No, it's not completely true. Your action of calling her sooner than 3 days or whatever other amount of time you prescribe to is not a problem. It is what you say to the girl, not the call itself that shows neediness.
For instance, if you go out this evening and you meet someone fun, and exciting. You spend a while talking and decide that you click and want to see her again. You obtain her phone number and go home. Now you have this dilemma for when you are going to call her. You look at your watch, and it is 2:30 am, probably not a good time to call her. Give her a ring tomorrow! If you have been out late then wait until the next day in the afternoon. Everyone likes to sleep in so please don't call her at 9am expecting her to be in a great mood.
In most all cases the very next day is the appropriate time to call. This shows her that you are interested in her. The most important aspect of your call is going to be what you say and not so much when the call is.You need to have a plan in your mind for what you are going to say. Have a date in mind you can see her and a place in mind to go. This will avoid the, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" conversation later. You are a guy you are expected to lead the interaction, so have a plan in mind. You don't want a very lengthy phone call. You want to get to the point rather quickly. Simply phone the lady up ask her how she has been, chit chat for a few minutes, and then ask her if she is available on a specific date. The goal of the call is to get a date with her not spend an hour on the phone having small talk.
"What about text?"Whenever this topic of calling someone comes up we can't help but mention text messaging. First and foremost, I like text messages and I think its a good way to stay in touch with people. However, when you are pursuing a dating relationship you really should call most of the time. Why? Sending a text message is very inpersonable. You want her to hear your voice and your tonalities as you talk to her. With that being said, if I meet someone when I'm out I might text them fifteen to thirty minutes after I leave them. Nothing fancy just a simple message, "Pleasure meeting you." I don't want to start a texting session this is just ONE simple quick polite message.From the point you've had a date then you will simply call to touch base and stay in her mind. A quick call to spend a few minutes asking her how she has been and to chit chat is a good way to go. This is where text messaging can come in handy during the in between times after you've already been on a date with her.
A few simple messages to stay in touch work great. "Have a great day!" "Hope you are doing well" "I had a great time yesterday" are quick things that work well. Don't make it overly complicated stick to short and simple messages."Should I leave a voice message?"
You should definitely leave her a message. In the age of technology everyone has some kind of call display or caller ID. She will know that you called regardless of if you leave her a message. When you don't leave a message she might assume you were too nervous or might take it as a sign of lack of confidence.
Leave a short message. Simply leave your name and number clearly, and don't blabber on. "Hey Megan, this is Jon. What have you been up to? Give me a call back 555-321-1515."
If she does not call back wait a few days and try to phone her again. Only call back ONCE if she does not return your phone call. If she doesn't return your call after the second time then take the hint that she doesn't want to talk to you. It's nothing personal its just dating. Please, when she doesn't answer do not call her every hour on the hour. Remember she has caller display and that is the type of clingy behaviour that will result in her not talking to you again.
Lastly, when a girl says that she will call you on a specific day do not take this too literally. If she says she'll call Thursday night don't wait around the phone for her call, it will happen when it happens. It very well could be Friday when she calls you. As you all know, life happens, so give her the benefit of the doubt. If by Friday afternoon in this case you haven't heard from her then don't be shy to give her a ring!
Follow these guidelines and you will have the phone etiquette for dating down.
Have a great week everyone!
Jon _________________ Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...
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