Hi Guys,

I was just putting down some thoughts on the important skill of leading.

An important distinction: by leading, we do not mean the leader of a big company, such as Richard Branson; although he well may be a major player. (Somehow I doubt it) In this context, we mean someone who leads an interaction.

Badboy taught me that women are like stones; he was making the point that they don’t do a great deal. That’s not to say they aren’t amazing in every way; it’s just that their role in the initial courtship process is not as involved as ours.

Women have to fulfill 3 simple roles:

1) They make themselves look good.
2) They expose themselves (not flash their racks), in coffee shops, bars and clubs.
AND
3) They demonstrate interest. (show IOIs).

Men that can lead are very attractive to women. Why?

• Leading is a masculine trait. Whatever they may tell you, women like men who take decisions, keep them safe and lead the interaction.
• Leading demonstrates confidence.
• Leading demonstrates dominance.

The better your game, the more you will lead and the less the woman will do; the more comfortable she will feel in her role as a woman. You must look to lead throughout the entire interaction; this is both physically as well as verbally.

Physical Leading

Remember: “women are like stones,” and you therefore have to move them around.

For all the reasons listed above, physically leading a girl can create powerful attraction within girls.

Example:
You are talking to a girl in a bar and you want to lead her somewhere:

BG: Come on, let’s go get a drink at the bar.

You take her hand and then walk towards the bar. Don’t look back; it’s needy and you must be committed to the move. You must be “gently dominant.” Gently but firmly lead the girl and she will come. DO NOT use force as it will be met with resistance. Physical leading should be very smooth. Resist the temptation to rip, tug or grab her or more often than not, she will pull back against you.

A few tips:
Always have a reason to move the girl.
When you start to lead her away, keep talking as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. This will occupy her logical brain and will reduce the chance of her resisting being led.

Physical leading is great for isolating girls.

When you are standing in a group of people, you say to the group:

BG: I am just going to take Chrissy for a quick shot of Sambuca… we’ll be back in a few minutes.

Take her by the hand, and lead her away smoothly and keep talking.

It is also very useful to lead the girl a number of times around the club. Firstly, you will be able to practice your leading and secondly, the more you lead, the more she will become attracted to you.

Touching in the club:
This is another variation on physical leading. We all know how important it is to touch girls in clubs and bars. “Kino is king.” It is very important that you learn how to put your hands on a woman in a bar or club without invoking negative responses.

Touch a girl in the right way and she will be receptive to your touch. Touch her in the wrong way and things can go badly wrong!! Touching should never be forceful or aggressive. It is very difficult to describe in words, but I will try.

It should be gentle and smooth, but with a touch of dominance. She should always be able to pull away if she wants, but you should also be able to guide her where you want. If you put your arm out to stop a girl walking by, make sure there is some give in your arm. If there isn’t, she will interpret like you are trying to grab her like the other AFCs in the venue and she will act accordingly (What happens to most AFCs?)

When you pull a girl in close, ensure that you are doing so in a smooth, gentle but dominant way. I call it “weak hands;” it’s like “gentle dominance”. You know what you want and you move to get it, but you don’t just grab at it. Remember, smooth and assured touching will be rewarded with compliance and attraction. Force will be met with resistance. I know which one I want.

Don’t physically lead for the sake of it. I have visions of guys who have read this leading girls unnecessarily around the bar, wondering why it’s not working. Well guys, it’s not working because it is weird. If you don’t need to move her anywhere, don’t bother. Just be mindful of the fact that if an opportunity arises, you know what to do.

Leading the interaction:
As well as leading a girl physically, we must also remember to lead the interaction. I rarely let a girl take a decision that I could have taken myself.

This is not a definitive rule, but more of a guideline; in general, we must lead the interaction more than her.

Eg1:
Her – Where are we going?
BG – I don’t know… what would you like to do?
This is WEAK.

Eg2:
Her – Where are we going?
BG – We are going to bar X…
This is STRONG.

If there is a problem with the decision you take then you will see this in her body language or she will let you know verbally and you can deal with it. In these situations, her body will tell you whether she is actually happy or not and that will let you know whether to push on or reconsider.

Lead the interaction, lead the conversation topics, lead her physically; you are a man, so behave like one.

I know it sounds ridiculously simple, and it is, but some guys get caught up in the trap of thinking that they must do exactly what the girl wants the entire time; in actual fact, this is probably killing the attraction inside her.

Again guys, apply these principles with some common sense. I am merely advocating that when a decision is there to be taken, more often than not, you should take that decision. BUT… the world will not end if you don’t. Be cool. All girls are different and in some situations, it is nice to find out what a girl would like to do and then do that for her. As long as you are leading more than her, then you are doing OK; and the more you practice leading, the more natural it will be. You will become calibrated.

Interesting Observation: You will find that when you get good at this skill, you will also start to lead the men. It will be a totally unconscious phenomena, but a sure sign that you are improving. When a girl sees you leading men, what does she feel? I’ll leave this with you.

IMPORTANT
Remember guys; the goal is to learn this skill so you don’t even have to think about it. I was taught leading and I saw how powerful it was, so I started consciously doing it, which is fine, but sub-optimal. After about a month, I started to lead subconsciously; it’s something that just happens naturally – this, my friends, is optimal.

Hope this helps.

Peace and love,
Baby Girl xxx