There's this girl whom my friends brought along for dinner. We had the usual chat stuff going. My guy friend (was trying to hit on her all the time. Annoying~!) was like sitting between both of us. I asked for HIS facebook and she was like "Oh here is mine!" and I could see she was embarrassed. I asked for her phone number after. I notice her glancing at me couple of times through out dinner. Probably just curious.

On our way to the clubs, I noticed she walks alone while my mates were chatting among themselves. (I was always walking in front as I'm like leading them where to go). Seems like she was waiting for me to talk to her. I went over and had a normal conversation, work & study stuff then I asked for her facebook. She was like "Oh! Are you really asking me this time?"

I sent her home after & we chatted a bit. I told her I'll bring her around whenever I can. (She's new to town). She sounded excited and reminded me to bring her out next time before we part ways.

On and off we'll have small talk on SPAM ever since but last night we spent 2hours chatting on SPAM. After the chat, I noticed I'm always the one asking questions. She replies in detail but never asked anything about me!

Me: xxxx xxx xxx?
her: xxx xxx xxx
her:xxx xxx xx
Me: xxx xxx xxx?
Me: xxxx xxx xx

I asked questions. she replies, we gave comments each and then I ask questions again. She never asked me anything about myself for the 2 hours we had been chatting on SPAM.

I then asked her how many boyfriends she had before. (She's single)

Her: 3
Me: How long the longest one last?
Her: 6 months
Me: Lol
Me:Kk
Me:Lol
Me: Kk shhhhhhh
Her: Omg u must be laughing your ass out
Me: What? How do u know? U installed a spycam in my room?
Her: Haha. I know you are either smiling or laughing
Me: Might be crying... Laughing so hard till I'm crying
Her: Haha. I knew it!
Me: I bet you are smiling or laughing. Your cheeky smile of yours
Her: Laughing and tapping my fingers on the floor Haha

And then we ended up with good nitez and stuff. I asked her out next week, she said ok but also suggested to ask a couple whom introduced me to her to join us. (I think she's still not comfortable with me yet).

Additional info:
She's a 22yr old hot chick but inexperience with relationship. Only had 3 ex. Longest 1 last 6 months and the other 2 lasted a month. She's new to town so she doesn't have many friends here. She usually hangout with her co workers or stay home during the weekends.

Just ended up in another 2hr text session with this girl. This time the convesation went kinda deep, talking about our exs and stuff though this time she asked quite a bit on my previous relationship.

I think I've just been friendzoned haha. She said she isn't looking into any relationship now as she just started her first job after graduation though she did kinda hint me thst her exs started off as good friends. Oh well...

hey man, here are some ideas for you, important things to keep in mind

avoid qualifying yourself, don't let her get a hold of too much info about you, the less she knows the better,

next here are some point on asd, girls love having sex, but they don't love feeling like a cheap slut

-don't judge her for sexuality, not even jokingly (you did this in first convo)
and if she baits you into judging other girls, dismiss it and disagree with her, there is no such thing as a slut, just a sexually liberated woman, and that turns you on, guys can be players and blah blah blah double standard etc.

-don't brag about or specifically get into detail about past relationships or hookups and girls you have had sex with, if you want to verbalize some hints of pre-selection, use stories, just dropping a girls name is a enough for a girl who is interested to say who's that (answer: oh just a girl I used to know, you don't know her), or compare shit to old girls, OH WOW THAT IS JUST LIKE, SO AND SO, same shit, and your pre-selection stories don't get into specific sexual details, they just get the point accross that you live in a world that has girls in it, too much pre-selection she will get player vibes (also you make sure to never bring up negative details about past relationships, this is a giant nono)

-you don't have std's

-you are socially acceptable to sleep with

-give her as much probable deniability as you possibly can

make everything you possibly can your fault, put all the escalations on you, and when it comes to investment, leave the pressure on her, let her talk lead the convo in the direction of what you wan't her to talk about

Thanks for your response! Yeah that was my bad on my part when I mentioned my ex and she started to dig in. Probably should stop having such lengthy text sessions as well and save it for the group meeting on the weekends.

Thing is she seldom ask stuff about me and was trying to keep the conve going.

Hopefully I'm able to build enough rappo to get her out alone with me after this group hangout. Cheers and thx for the advice!

"good nitez and stuff"? Men don't talk that way...

More importantly, YOU should have been hitting on her. Not pussying around the issue.

Still, looks like things are working out well. Make moves when you go on this double date, don't waste time.

I confessed to this girl whom I got to know for 2weeks, we went out couple of times. We click pretty well and often tease each other when we are out. She told me she isn't ready for any relationship at all as she just graduated and just came over to my country to work. (she just started work for 3 months here). She said she just want to make more friends and that we should be friends first as we only know each other for a couple of weeks.

I asked if I can woo her. She smiled and said she can't promise me anything as she won't know what will happen in the future and that I don't have wait for her. If there are better girls out there I can go ahead and she would be cool with it and she won't avoid me and still hang out with me as usual.

Throughout the whole conversation we were actually smiling and laughing a little. I don't know why but we always smile and laugh at each other when we meet up in person. The whole thing didn't feel super serious unlike other confessions I made with other girls before. She was still smiling when she left.

She also said she knows what she wants which is having a stable career here. I replied her that I too know what I want and that is wanting her. But I assured her that I will give her no pressure.

I messaged her that it's all good and if she has someone in mind I will still treat her the same.

She replied that indeed she has someone in mind and she doesn't want to make a promise cos she don't intend to get a close relationship with anyone and that It's a long term plan.

Honestly I was actually persuaded by a mutual friend to confess to her. Lol shouldn't have listened to my friend. It doesn't hurt me much since its such a short time I known her. I had advice from mutual friends that I should hang around and be good friends with her since she doesn't have much friends here. She might see me in a different way when we get to know each other more. And that it will give both of us time to consider each other.

I read on the internet that people keep trying hard from getting into the friendzone but for this girl. She told me before, all 3 of her ex boyfriends started off from being good / best friends. I think she's the type that wants to know the guy well first before jumping into a relationship.

She's pretty free almost everyday since she doesn't have much friends. I believe the guy she is interested in is from her home country. She seems to stay at home everyday other than me or her coworkers asking her out.

Any advice on how should I proceed? Should I still hang around her? I really don't want to lose her as a friend as I kinda enjoy her company but also afraid of getting myself hurt.

Additional info : She's still a virgin and hasn't even kissed before!
The last time I went out with her and with some mutual friends. I actually had my arm over another girl while walking (she's a good friend of mine, when I turned back I saw a disgusted look on her face. I never thought much about it because I'm a pretty touchy guy and I did tell her before I'm friendly to everyone so I hadn't had much thought about the look she displayed

Anyone got any advice on how should i proceed?

I know its my bad to confess to her so early in the game. I didn't feel it was a right time either.

I should have shown to her that I like her and not by telling her. She says she won't avoid me even if I confessed and we still can hang out together. But it seems she takes longer to respond to my text after it.

nono, your friend gave you half decent advice, you see what you have here is a no, the whole idea of pickup is get to a no or a yes, there is no magical secret route to a girls pants, there are girls who are interested in you, and girls who are not, and girls on the fence, you can improve your chances and get the girls on the fence with ''game'', but most of this stuff comes down to being a likeable cool person, and just moving thing towards sex with girls that are interested while not cock blocking yourself, a girl who likes your personality will give you big points towards sex, but that doesn't mean that you can really change no's into yes's unless the no was not a real no, but really any girl that gives you any trouble is not really worth the time, you have to actually go out and meet new girls all the time, not just 1 girl and then work on her for a year and realize she doesn't want to sleep with you even though she basically made this clear to you from the beginning, just don't ignore what girls do, be awesome try to go for it, but if you get stopped, meet new girls, don't try to fix girls that are not interested, just on to the next one do it over and over until you have a lot of girls to sleep with, and at the start when you are not used to it, you will suck more at not cock blocking yourself and you will move things at a snails pace towards sex, just pick it up and start approaching, more numbers, more practice, more dates, stay strong and stop trying to get girls that are not interested just cause you like them, find girls that make it easy for you and start actually trying to move things along


I suggest you establish a time line, you give a girl 7 days from when you meet her, try to have sex with her before the 7 days is up, if you don't meet your goal, go meet a new girl and start a new 7 days, now keep in mind this doesn't mean remove any girls from your phone or not responding to messages, simply no longer contact girls that didn't sleep with you in 7 days, move onto a new one, if an old contact messages you, message her back and try to hookup a meetup and attempt again to have sex, 7 days no sex go find a new girl to start a new 7 days, keep trying to improve the impression you can make

Yeee that's a great way to put it.

The point, when it comes down to it, is to know whether both parties in any relationship want to make sexytime with each other. Not only is it helpful to know this information as early in a relationship as possible, it is more likely to be a "yes" soon after you meet (pumpington's 7 days is a good timeframe).

So you didn't fail, you succeeded! You determined the answer to the question at the core of any pick up, "Would you like to have sex with me?"

Unfortunately here it was no, so go find a girl who will say yes!

I had a chat with her last nite after a week of not contacting her as she was away for a holiday. We chatted a bit and then I actually explained myself why I confessed to her a week ago.

I explained to her that it was our mutual friends that has been persuading me to woo her and had been fussing me for 2 weeks and that I never had any initial attraction to her. She giggled and teased why am I so weak willed. I then told her that I felt really good around her and thats it, if in the future if I ever develop any romantic feelings for her, I'll let fate decide. I told her most of my friends are married or busy with their partners & that I tore my pec muscle so I'm pretty free recently. I told her that since I'm free, just take it as she's accompanying me out to chill in my "day" life as I'm a night life person who hangs out in clubs and its a good chance for her to explore stuff here together. She teased "You really don't look like that sort of guy who drinks and hangout in clubs very much. More like a decent guy to me."



I also told her that the reason I decided to confess to her was wanting to know whats her reply was. If it was "yes i like u too" I would have been a little worried that she's shallow since we only known each other a short time. And I told her I actually like what her response was and that it was pretty mature of her to response in that way. She then explained that whatever she told me that night was the truth and from her heart.

She doesn't want to get into any relationship at the moment is cos she is new to this country and just started her first ever full time job. She wants to widen her social network here, establish herself and try get a permanent residence here on her own without anyone's help. She don't want to marry a local here just to get a PR status and afraid people will frown at her. Her family had also been asking her whether she's attached a not. But she insisted in staying single.

She was like " Hey, I'm not avoiding you so chill man, you don't really need to explain stuff to me."


I was like "Haha, its all good, I just wanna make myself clear.

We chatted a bit more after and throughout the conversation from the start I called her, we were actually laughing and teasing each other. I actually do feel very comfortable with her. I am INTERESTED in her but I just want to take it slow too.

I proposed that the next time I'll ask her out I won't tell her where I'm bringing her to so it be more fun. She replied " Noooooo I need to know what to wear."


Do you guys think I have just kicked myself to the friendzone? Or do I still have a shot? I didn't text contact her today. I don't want to show myself as needy or clingy. I've asked her out this weekend and she said she'll let me know by Friday if she can hangout with me as she might be going out of town with her

And yeah .. I'm hitting on other chicks as well but this girl is still my number 1 choice.
I'm not just looking to bed her but I am looking for a LTR. I guess I'm a little tired of fooling around. I've already had 12 relationships excluding flings for the past 5years ever since I graduated. I had enough of the roller coaster rides and dramas.

just stop contacting her all together and pursue other girls, if she is interested in having a relationship/hooking up with you, she will start to miss you and call, when she contacts you arrange to hang out alone, turn her on and try to get her to spot where you can have sex, attempt to make out with her, without getting her permission, see what happens, continue doing this until she either stops trying to contact you, or sleeps with you, it is either that or you can be stuck in friend hell forever
but...

1)don't contact her 1st more then once every 1-2 weeks, and only contact her to invite her out, not to fluff talk

2)move onto other girls and don't make this girl your top priority, because I assure you, you are not hers, and don't be butt hurt if you find out she has other guys or another guy

3)you did not do anything wrong per-se, you just need to become more efficient and try to start escalating sooner, be more flirtatious, be more touchy, be more insistent on hanging out in person and getting her alone, but this girl is clearly not into you, best to leave her alone and see if she comes back to you (if not obviously she is not as hooked as you want to believe), you did the best you can do with your current amount of experience, the best you can do is go out and get more experience and try to improve



I know it sucks to move on from something you are invested in, but when there is no payout, there is no point and hanging on to something you never had to begin with, is a waste of time

SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

STOP TRYING and move on. She basically just screamed the above into your face and you don't seem to get it. You're no less valuable because this ONE girl isn't interested, it just means you need to find someone else.

THERE IS NO CHANCE WITH THIS GIRL. YOU ARE FRIEND ZONED FOR LIFE.