Hi guys need some help here..

I recently met a girl who works where i used to work we got talking and then after not too long we were in a relationship.. but all was good untill people found out who used to know me who still work there. now they have told her so much shit about me trying to turn her off me?
when we were together she kept flaking me and messing me around but when we are together its great.. she lives an hour from me i make trips to see her and she flakes me..
Finally more people spread lies and shit and i mentioned to her that i had recieved a message about her and she lost it told me she cant be arsed anymore its too much hassle and everybody is causing trouble and started getting angry with me?

The i called her at new year and we spoke and she said she didnt want me to just leave alone and she still wants us to be friends?

Then today she told me she wants us to still be close and we can meet up and never know what will happen in the future just at the moment too many people getting involved...

I fell into the trap of showing her so much attention and being too available at first i was so cocky and blanked her etc but once we were togetheri changed and feel into lots of traps like texting alot etc? but what can i do?

Nothing. You can do nothing.

Anything you do now will make things worse, you will be more unhappy than you already are.

You have to move on completely. 100%. No chance of ever trying for her again. I'm sorry.

although this morning out of nowhere she has started to message me again and said she wants me and her to book a holiday?

im so confused?

Well I can give you some advice. It's not full proof yet, I'm still trying to work the kinks out.

What I've done before is I've taken myself completely out of a girls frame. I said to her " look obviously this isn't going to work out now, seeings your letting outside events mess with judgement. This isn't my problem, once you have sorted your shit out, then message me." This happened about a month or two ago. The girl was hearing stuff about me and getting the idea that I just wanted a root, which I did but she doesn't need to know that. I took my self out of the equation and after three days she came to my work and started asking how I was, what I had gotten up to. Next day she did the same thing. Then a few days later she invited me to sleep at hers.

I'm currently trying this method again and seeing if it works again.
But my theory behind it is, you would have need to have had some intimate moments with this girl or atleast very good memories which she has felt attraction. I had hooked up with this girl twice prior to trying this method.

I'm not saying its full proof but it is an option and it has worked once before for me good luck dude. Even if it doesn't work out. stay strong, you're a man and you will find way better.

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Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

Even if you trick this girl into dating you again, it is doomed to go badly. Please move on, or within 3 months you will be back on this forum begging us to solve a problem. The drama from that problem will hurt more than anything with this girl has so far.

cheers guys so although i backed off abit and now she has said i wanna go on holiday with you should we book one?

should i say yes or just ignore?

Ignore. Move on means MOVE ON.

I agree with Slip N Slide, you need to ignore for a little bit, see others in the mean time.

You might really want this girl. but not seeing her is really whats best for you two. because you will have a bit more fun and by the end of it she will be crawling after you

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Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

No! Bad motivation!

Don't "ignore for a little bit." IGNORE.

Once you realize you don't need her, that there are millions of beautiful girls out there, you'll be so much more powerful.

maybe I should rephrase that. When I said ignore for a little bit, I meant completely cut her out for a good month or so.

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Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

I meant forever. I can't control OP, but please choose my advice over his.

This kid clearly has one itis, he might as well give it one last run some time down the track. But for the time being he should explore all his options with others and more than likely he will find someone better and move on in the process

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Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

yeah i will cut her out,

she is texting me like once a day now and said we can fuck the whole holiday aslong as you bring no girls back... but if she still wants me then why did she split in the first place... too confusing..