| Gentlemen,
I recently noticed that many aspiring PUAs have their sticking points somewhere in the conversation - running out of topics, blank stare, awkward silence etc. I can see a huge amount of questions about such a normal activity like talking to a girl and deep inside I can feel I owe so much to the community that I am emotionally obliged to share my wisdom in return. And if there is something I really know about in PU - it's conversation.
Before I have discovered the Game I was in long-term relationship with really cute girl for 5 years. I can tell I always knew what women wanted to hear and even if I was no more in relationship, the conversational aspect was still my strong side. A year ago I noticed a strange regularity in my game - I could be scared of approaching a girl but when I did approach her, the conversation just flows. No unitentional awkward silence, always something to say, her body language promisingly responds... I decided to share my knowledge with you. Note: Everything below is based on my personal experience and is a creation of my mind, unless I mention the author. This is what really worked for me and my buddies who I thank for their support, testing my thoughts and suggestions.
Prologue: Comfort = Conversation + Kino
We can argue with Mystery Method as a whole style of PU but there is one irrefutable truth: 90% of the time invested in seducing a girl is in so-called "comfort", so we really need to put our effort in developing conversational skills as well as escalating kino. By comfort I understand this period: you approach a girl and have the possibility to talk to her - this is where comfort starts; you two start making out - this is where the comfort ends. This thread however is not about kino - this is really simple aspect; if you have trouble just search for something in this forum. Everything was said in this topic.
1. Be the Leader
I know this statement has been used so many times, but in my opinion it is never overused. She expects you to approach her, and if you do so - you have to be consistent in your actions. If you make the first move and approach, make the second and start conversation. This is you who changes the topics and who leads the discussion on proper tracks. If you are the type who needs a plan - make a plan what you will be talking about but be the fucking leader! You have to know that if there is a so-called "awkward silence", the girl will always blame it on you. You didn't approach her just to know what's her name and what does she do for a living, did you?
2. Her brain is your ally
In "Sexual Key" J.D. Fuentes mentions the research made by a group of scientists who were examinating human brains during conversation. In men's brains the most active was the left side of brain, whick refers to logical thinking, cause-and-effect aspects etc. In women's brains the results were quite different: both sides were almost equally involved in the conversational process. It means that women use not only the logical thinking, but additionally they attach emotions to what you both say. Have you ever wondered how can she quote your whole sentences used in talk long time ago? Here's the secret: she doesn't remember words, she remember emotions and these emotions are linked to these words in their brains. Men remember how the discourse started and how ended, what was the result + some facts during it; women remember everything they attach to emotions. "Ok, Surielx, how can this help me?" Here's how: You have to lead the conversation to the topics where she can easily attach different emotions, your task is to serve her emotional rollercoaster. Every unarguable topic is allowed (look below): some laugh-causing threads, some scary stories, her dreams, your little secret and her accident when she was 11. When you mention how you were bungee-jumping, say "Imagine you are standing on the edge of the bridge, looking 80m down where is a lake that was so big when you swimmed it and now it's tiny, trees around this lake... Picture this in your mind and try to guess what my feelings were". Just help her to attach feelings to what she hears. "What was your biggest adventure? How did you feel?". Why are we doing this? Because when she recalls every guy she was talking to that night, you will differentiate, conversation with you was different, more interesting.
3. Be careful
The fact she attaches emotions to your talk and that your task is to encourage her to respond emotionally doesn't mean you can say everything. I can't stress taht much: avoid arguable topics. If you tell her she is a stupid whore, she will respond with emotions and will remember you for sure, but these are not the feelings you want to awake, are they? Also avoid topics like politics, religion, subcultures etc. If you are having a quarrel on your first meeting, what does it tell her? How does it refer to her future? Why the hell should she answer your call the next day? If she recalls this topics, just avoid answering "This is really what you want to know about me? I think there are more interesting subjects, right?"
4. Canned material is your savior
I am not talking about opinion openers, opinion questions and things like that. I am talking about these pub games we all know very well, the cube, 5 questions, question game etc. Naturals say you have to avoid canned material and just be yourself, others say the routines are your master weapons and you should rely mostly on them. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. I have had many conversations that I didn't use any canned material because these were not neccessary but sometimes I need them for a girl to warm up after standard "What do you do" questions. Don't overuse them, everything is for our advantage but you really need to understand the purpose of using this and know where to stop. I think the Cube is too much powerful to leave this on the history trash. I like to treat all those games as my backup, when I really don't know what to say next I just use the material. This can tell me something about her I can refer to in further conversation and gives me time to think what to say next. Don't get me wrong: I highly encourage you to put routines aside and rely mostly on your conversational skills but it's far more better to use them than to sit next to her and have nothing to say. Plus, there is also a remedium on so-called "awkward silence". Just look her in the eyes, don't look away and when she asks you what are you doing or looks away herself, say "Remember this little silly game we used to play when we were kids? Looking into each other's eyes and compete who will keep looking longer?". This line I made up by myself and is powerful, not only creates some connection ("WE used to play", "WE were kids") but additionaly gives you an explaination every time the silence comes up and the pressure to break the tension is on her from now on. See? You don't fear the silence, you use this on your advantage.
5. Dig her!
I can see so many guys talking to a girl who answers with one word.
- "What do you do?"
- "Art"
- "I see... Where do you come from?"
- "Here"
and so. The whole point of the "Don't make an interview" rule is not to avoid asking questions but ask them wisely and elaborate on them. The interviewer asks many questions and jumps from one topic to another, your goal is to ask about one aspect and go deeper.
- "What do you do?"
- "Art"
- "Really? Tell me something about that"
You show her you are not just shooting shits, not doing everything for her to stay with you, you are trully interested in what she says. That helps her to open up and not be afraid of talking to you.
Epilogue: Listen to her!
Whatever she says, you have to listen. I laughed many times watching guys who did very well and then she suddenly asks "So what was my name?" and they didn't know. Come on, whatever she says gives you so many information that can be used later that you have no idea. And believe me, this can be hard, especially when you concentrate on what to say next.
Feel free to rate, comment and support in any way possible.
Surielx. _________________ An Alpha male cries only when Mufasa dies.
Personal thread: lr-s-surielxs-crazy-adventures-vt79972.html
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