hey guys, I'm new here and to the whole idea of this stuff. I have a problem with a girl I like, need some advice on what to do.

I've known this girl for a little over a year.
First night we met I k closed. Some dude was creeping her around at this party, and she asked me to get him away, so I just started hooking up with her in front of him, and he was like "sorry man, didn't know" and left. She came back to my house that night but passed out on the couch before I had a chance to do anything.

Nothing happened at all for months after that ,we barely talked here and there.

After 6 months went out for drinks with her friends and my friends and there were major IOI's (firends left us two alone and walked ahead of us) and I didn't make a move. She got a bf right after this for about 1 months, then that ended.

2 more months pass and she'll text me every so often asking me what I'm doing or if there are parties to go to. I've been to her house parties a couple times recently, and one time there was major IOI's, (touching, laughing, sharing a seat while playing drinking games) etc.

But it seems everytime I talk to her she has this weird stand-offish stuff..she'll IOI for like a minute, I'll respond and then she kind of gets like distracted or hesitant and then finds ways to end the conversation and come back to me later.

Last night chilled at the bar a bit, she showed up, we talked, touched a bit and then the owner tried to kick us out (she works there) and she put her arms around me and said "he's with me, he's my boyfriend"....then about a minute later she's like ,"jk".


Basically I'm not sure if I missed out on the oppourtunity because I pussed out, or maybe she is still keeping the idea open? I'm not sure. How can I proceed? And does she even want anything?

It's hard to say.

One thing that's for sure is that you should have made a move INITIALLY when you definitely did have a chance.

Some girls are really hard to read without knowing a bit more about them. I mean, some are completely ok with kino with their guy friends or flirting, and don't think anything of it.

What you should do is escalate and see what happens at this point. If she resists, ignore that it happened and try again later.

I mean..she is very social, and kind of a tease, she talks to lots of guys and playfully flirts with them, but she treats me slighly differently I feel. There's some tension there, I feel it.

I know exactly what you mean.

I was recently at a party with a chick exactly like that.

Initially I had a hard time telling if she was into me because she was flirting with all of the guys. Eventually, after I throughly busted her balls (ex: we were dancing she told me I'm a good dancer I reply "you're alright.") she would stick around with me for slightly longer than the other guys.

I didn't actually take it anywhere because I was just trying to have a good time with my friends, but in my situation and in yours the proper move would be to isolate and escalate.

You hit the nail on the head, but then gave the wrong advice (?)

She stuck around with you after you BUSTED HER BALLS. i.e. you stopped being the guy that gives her attention, seeks rapport, does what she says and is nice to her in the hopes you'll get laid. You were a bit of a challenge, and then she started to get interested and she might have started chasing you.

To the OP, she was attracted to you. You didn't make a move. Now, a low self-esteem girl will rationalise this as "I guess I'm not hot enough for him...boo hoo" but a social, fun girl with friends and high self-esteem will say "he's a pussy." But, you're still a nice guy and sorta fun to hang out with, so she'll shoot you a text occasionally when there's nothing better going on or the guy she's fucking is away or whatever. You reply immediately of course, and offer her plans and make things happen. When you see her, you try and build more rapport and keep her happy. If you want to be friends with her, then great, you're doing well.

If you want to FUCK her, however, then you have to NOT respond to her for a while, make her miss you a little and wonder what's up, and then see her after a while, in the company of other women who are flirting with you, don't give her too much attention, tease her a little, and then watch as she gives you more and more IOIs and chases you. THEN you just have to be man enough to sexually escalate using push-pull, and you can close.

TRY IT!

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Right.

This guy could would have been balls deep if he capitalized initially and escalated the situation.

Now that he's fucked it up he gets to play fun damage control (how much easier would it be if everyone understood that there are 3 billion other women to choose from lol).

Freezing her out to regain that initial attraction that he lost is definitely key.
Next time, make a move.
Nice.

BTW Blondguy if you get time could you check out this post: hb-w-boyfriend-major-iois-question-vt79643.html
PUA theorycrafting desired about the ethics of gaming an HB with a STR

I feel like your letting her control you. It sounds like you made it past step A with a bold move. Bold move, she was with you that night. But from that point on it sounds like you were with her. This will be confusing but, STOP BEING WITH HER, she needs to BE WITH YOU. You can go hangout with her but dont let her be in control. Dont be a dick but be a man, call her and get her with you.

Thanks guys for the advice, i appreciate it. I'm thinking about inviting her out somewhere, and just going in for the kill. The only problem is I'm 21, she's 20. So I can't invite her out to a bar for some drinks....so what do you guys suggest? Inviting her over to a movie is too obvious, I want something kind of non-shalant..you know? Then i can isolate her, move in, and if she declines, I'll move on and if not, great.

Coffee to house, house party.

Dont make the mistake of trying to get sex, have fun with her, dont even try for sex just have fun with her, if it happens it happens.

I've ignored her in the past, and she just never bothered to text or call or even try to talk to me...months will pass, I'll see her in person, and when I'm talking to other girls she gets slightly jealous, but then won't have the nerve to go and talk to me. Yet sometimes she'll go right up to me in a crowd of people she knows and hug me first, and say shit like "I didn't know you were here!" to play dumb or something. She's playing games, guys, this sucks.