So I've been on two dates with this certain chick (I'll call her Denise), both of which I thought went well. Denise is a dental assistant from the next city over. She is a soft 9 for me because she is very much my type. Italian woman that is average height, fit body, long dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes.She is 23 and very much a career woman. She told me she got out of a five year relationship two years ago and has been single since. She also told me she hasn't done much dating in those two years since the break up either.

The first date we met for coffee and chilled at the park. We talked for well over an hour. Mostly about random topics...we were all over the place. I made a few jokes here and there...had her smiling and laughing etc. She told me prior to meeting for coffee that she would have to go visit her grandmother in the hospital later so after, I walked her to her car and asked her to text me when she got home to make sure she was safe. She ended up texting me later to tell me she got home. And i took the opportunity to tell her i had a good time and that we should get together again. She reciprocated these sentiments and we had another couple of flirty texts before i called it a night.

We got together about 5 days later (past Sunday) and shared a few drinks at this Italian bar & grill, Johnny Rocco's while watching the hockey game (she is a huge Pittsburgh Penguins fan). I can't say we watched much of the game because we were too busy in deep conversation. We talked about family and dabbled slightly into past relationships. Also talked about trust and other important things in regards to relationships. It wasn't all serious though, we also discussed some drinking stories and other lighthearted things. I mixed some kino (light touching on the arm, leg, checking out her bicep) to which she returned the favor later (touching of the arm and shoulder). She also touched and fixed her hair a lot and her legs were together and slightly pointing towards me at an angle. During the middle of the third period in the hockey game, i suggested we head over to my place around the corner and watch rest of the game and sneak in an episode of The Wire, a show i wanted her to watch with me. She politely declined and told me that she had to get up pretty early for work and pick up something (she was texting one of her bosses during the date and profusely apologized for it). At the end of the date we hugged and i told her we would get together soon.

I texted her next evening (Monday)and suggested she come over for dinner on Wednesday and we could watch The Wire. She responded by saying that Wednesday she had to travel for work and would be in late and might be too tired. I counter-offered and said that Thursday night would work too but would have to be an early night since i have an exam this Friday and asked her to let me know. She did not respond. I texted her Wednesday afternoon and used some slight callback humor:

Chainfire: So Crosby is kinda a good player...the whiner! How you doing, Lara Croft (one of my nick names for her...callback humor etc.)

(she sent two texts back to back)
Denise: Crosby is amazing!!! I am just at work gonna be a busy day booked till 5 so that means i won't be in town till 615ish then i have to go to my fitness trainers to hand in my stuff n take measurements....by the time i get home i'll be dead. so i don't think i can do anything tn tm i know i am booked until 7 with patients so tm is no good either...maybe we can get together over the weekend or something

(responded an hr later)

Chainfire: that's cool...i couldn't do tonight anyways...when are you free this weekend then...

(8 minutes later)

Denise: I am not sure what's happenin this weekend yet i will let you know tho!!!

(responded 10 minutes later)

Chainfire: Omg, i am plan B! I'll have you know i am 8.2x more fun then your girlfriends...you'll see! Sunday evening sounds good to me.

(no response)

It seems i shit the bed or something. The dates went great but this week during texts she seems to be fluffing me off. Perhaps she is indeed busy and these are legitimate excuses or she has lost interest and/or is dating other guys. Why would she suggest we get together over the weekend and then when i ask when she is free...she gives me a bs response? Talked to my friends and they believe she has lost interest and is blowing me off. They point to the fact that she suggests we get together over the weekend but does not give me a specific date and then says she has to find out what she is doing and get back to me when i asked her when she is free. My buddies told me that i shouldn't text her and just wait to see if she texts me. Any ideas of what's going on here? Maybe some advice on how to respond to the situation? I know my text game presented here is weak. It's usually on point.

How much sexual tension was there on either of the two dates?

It sounds like there was a lot of comfort building, but did you at least try to kiss her?


If I can't at least briefly make out with a girl sometime during or at the end of a first date, it worries me.


I've been on more than one date where the girl starts it off saying "I have to go do X at X time", and ends up blowing off that other activity in favor of spending more time with me. I do this by trying to escalate physically and get her in a sexual state, after I've spent some time building comfort with her. If the entire date is comfort, especially the first date, you won't stand out much in her mind.

Nah, this chick is playing it slow. She just started dating again. She got out of a five year relationship two years ago and is testing the water. I doubt i could of made any moves sexually that she'd be receptive to. There isn't too much sexual tension though, unfortunately. I have made light sexual jokes here and there tho and we've kino'd a bit. This is one of those classy girls that makes u wait for it. I plan on making a move if she comes over for a third date, but i am thinking I blew it. One of my female friends said that her current boyfriend and her went on several dates before he kissed her....so you don't always gotta get action on the first couple of dates, depends on the woman. But maybe i should of at least tried even if i would of been rejected. Would of shown decisiveness and strength, but it didn't feel right. Would of felt rushed with her. I guess i won't text her for a few days. Sucks, that i don't have any other prospects at the moment (currently broke/ exam time as well). Think i am at risk for oneitis!


And there was no way i was going to get her to blow off her grandmother in the hospital. Are you serious? I would think pretty poorly of her if she did that for a guy she was having coffee with. I don't care how awesome i am, that's family and i was a guy she barely knew! The little coffee date did last about an hour and a half tho. Just frustrating that all i probably had to do was go for the kiss at the end of date 2. I had a stripper visit me last night. She lived over an hour away and paid a $150 cab to come see me so i got game, i just seem to be too nice to this chick. Not my sarcastic and sexual self. I am more reserved. Blah

Girls will kiss a guy they met 5 minutes ago in a bar. Not kissing a guy after 2 dates is a bad sign.

I know that when I'm dealing with a woman I'm highly attracted to, I sometimes find myself turning down C&F/sarcasm/aggression/etc and falling into more of a "nice guy" mode. This never turned out well for me.

Having a lot of game and using it are two different things my man.

Following problems are what I observed..

1. Your not being yourself and putting this chick on a pedestal. Probably your shy or mixed up, because she is actually a quality women.

2. Too clingy too soon... it seems like u made yourself desperate a bit too fast (like wednesday oh no how about thursday ok not thursday... saturday) 1 offer and either have her make the counteroffer such as (I can't do wed. but thurs. will be better)

3. You are playing the text game too much... keep text short and sweet when u guys are getting to know each other... I know this sounds crazy, but too much text seems like way tooo much - leave something for the date too talk about... text is only for setting up dates

4. Extra Credit - never use the text me too know your safe I had a great night thing it so normal and corny... lastly, u should treat dates just like a meeting with old friends alot of kino, great amount of comfort, and don't be afraid to go out of your boundaries.

Girls will kiss a guy they met five minutes ago at the bar...but that and this situation are two completely different scenarios. The girl above might sleep with the guy above but it doesn't mean she would date him. This girl is obv looking for something more then a fling/sex. I tried to tailor my game to work with this type of woman/scenario. I obviously tried to push too many dates in a short amount of time and should of kept texts shorter. I made myself too available and accommodating. I think that she has lost interest and i fucked up. I know better then to pull these rookie mistakes but fell into oneitis i guess. My strategy henceforth will be to not text her at all. Wait and see if she texts me on the weekend. If she does text me and want to get together, I'll tell her i have plans and that maybe we could get together next week (set something up). I need to stop initiating communication and stop being so available. See if she still has enough interest in me to start chasing. If she doesn't then the situation is beyond repair and i'll move on. Right now i am broke and focusing on exams so i haven't been out there trying to meet and game other women!

I agree, a woman may certainly kiss or sleep with a man she has no interest in being in a relationship with.

However, my point was just that kissing a guy is not a big step by any means, whether she intends to have a relationship or not. I understand she's somewhat of a wounded duck, just saying I think you can accommodate for that but still push harder and keep it out of the friend zone by sexualizing it a little more.

We've all been there, man. That waiting game sucks (seeing if the interest level is totally gone, and wondering if you'll hear from her again). Sometimes time works wonders; sometimes it doesn't. Hope it works out for you.

Actually i went against my above strategy. Was watching the pens-sens game tonight and was compelled to text her. * the pens/sens playoff game went into the 1st overtime when i texted her.

Chainfire: This game is intense...tell Mr.Crosby to hurry up...I need to get back to studying

*an hr later

Denise: omg....so i went to play soccer to help out a friend turns out i have to play as ot starts...i just walked in the door to find ottawa won fuck my life

I call her about twenty minutes later. Teased her about the game. She tells me she was pissed but her friend that is an Ottawa fan and whom antagonizes her about the series told her that he might be able to get tickets and told her she can join him. I responded by teasingly saying that he is working her but she then told me that it's not like that, he's just a friend and she doesn't like him in that way. I told her i was excited for her and that i am sure he will be able to get the tickets. She then told me lightheartedly that she is worried if she wears her pens jersey in Ottawa and the pens win that some sens fans might try to fight her. I told her that no guy would hit her. She counters by saying that a bunch of butch female sens fans could beat her up. I made her laugh by saying if that happens i would run away and leave her there. She laughed and said i couldn't do that, I would need to drive her home. I told her i could so do that...just push her down and leave her ass there! I then told her that i had to get back to studying. She wished me luck for the exam and i replied "thanks, I'll talk to you later".

She said that she will find out tomorrow if her friend will get the tickets. i plan on calling her tomorrow after she gets off work and ask her she will be going to the game. I then will take the opportunity to tell her i will be busy Friday night and of course i know she is busy Saturday (the game) and that we should get together next week and ask her if she is available to get together on Monday. we'll see.

Messaged her this evening on msn. Her name indicated that she will be going to the pens/sens game tomorrow. I teased her a bit and we talked for a few minutes. Told her that i am busy tonight and Sunday but we should get together for the dinner i promised to make for her next week. She agreed and I told her i can't do Wednesday but Mon or Tues i am free. She said Monday would be best. I told her she will love my kraft dinner! And said to have a blast this weekend and we'll catch up later.

When she comes over for dinner and a movie Monday, I will make a move. Should be fun

nvm...dinner date was called off...said she didn't feel a connection with me...such a fool...made some stupid mistakes...fml

Sorry to hear that man on to the next one... make sure u read my tips and use them next time...

It's a piss off because i believe i know where i went wrong and i am better then that. I got lazy and stupid i guess. I made rookie mistakes...and lost out on this chick. But...she did go on two dates with me...had to take the highway since i am in the next city over...and she did commit to the third last Friday... then she had her lil nhl playoff weekend in Ottawat and all of a sudden she doesn't feel a connection with me? More like she felt the shaft of some other guy's cock...blah. One-itis because I had no other targets...the stripper doesn't count, that was just a fling. Fighting hard not to send her a text and tell her that her breaking the date was bullshit and there was a connection! Asking her why she can't say that she fell for some other asshole....but i know better then that. It wouldn't solve anything.