Hello everyone! I am having a problem with this girl...

It has quickly gone from me having her chase me, to now me having to chase her. This is all over a 2-3 month span.

Alright so the girl I have been talking to happens to be someone I work with (I met her through work). She is 3 years younger than me and we have been "talking" for a couple of months now. Heres the breakdown:

When we first started talking and texting each other, we went out to dinner and lunch a couple of times within the first couple of weeks but nothing ever happened. Then I invited her over to my house to watch a movie and just hang out, but again nothing happened (we ended up just talking through the movies because she had seen it so many times). I took her to parties 2 weekends in a row, but there was no oppurtunity to make a move on her, BUT I have seen her become more flirty and touchy when we are together.

We never work with each other anymore, and everyone at our work knows we are talking/dating/whatever you want to call it. She asked me to come up to work last night actually (which I did), and it seemed like that really made her day. She said we needed to go to the batting cages one day so she could show me up (we both like sports/baseball) so I will ask her to do that one day next week probably.

I also asked her to a concert this weekend (so I can finally make a move also), and she has never heard of the band but says she wants to go...

Here are the problems I'm dealing with:
I havent made a move yet, so I know my time is running out

The concert- she has never heard of the band, and her friend that was suppose to go with her is not going anymore and she does not know any other girls that like reggae music. She said she still wants to go, but how can I convince her?

She used to text me first and text a couple of lines worth in every text, but now if I don't text her first then we won't talk. She loves to text, and answers every text I send her but I feel like I'm texting her too much?

I asked her to go to dinner at this place we both love, but she has had work everytime. She always says "we will soon" if she can't do it that night, but I stopped asking now.

I know she likes me because when we actually hang out and see each other she becomes extremely flirty towards me, and becomes jealous when I talk to other girls (I even caught her reading my text messages one night; she also changed her name in my phone to Sexy Ass Bitch, and wrote a note in my phone saying she loved me). However, I dont know how I should make a move on her. Should I just invite her over again to watch a movie, or hope she goes to the concert?

Dude, I have one word of advice for you: RUN!!!

It sounds like she is using you for your money, cure for boredom, and an occasional ego boost. if you have been dating/talking to her over the span of months and never made a move, there is little chance that she is actually sexually and physically attracted to you. Women are attracted to men of action, not guys who are too insecure, shy, and unconfident to make a move. Sure she flirts with you and makes you believe that she likes you more then a friend but she is only carrying on that pretense so she can continue to use you...the fact that she never made a move yet and seems to be playing head games (fluffing you off, never chasing you, showing no initiative and low interest) only re-validates my assertion that she doesn't actually like you.

Ps. this girl is infringing on your privacy and reading your texts and this is not a red flag for you considering the two of you are just dating, that it's not exclusive, and you haven't even gotten physical?


Move on. Next time, act like you have balls and go in for the kiss. I usually make my move for the kiss when she is laughing or i am kino'ing her during comfort building/trust (after i initially worked attraction). You waited too long and now she sees you as a sucker that she can take full advantage of and exploit.

Additionally, you seem to be suffering from oneitis and hey we've all been there. You have all your eggs in one basket and so you are coming across as needy and too available. You are not a challenge and thus not as attractive to her. You need to go out and meet and date a few women so that you do not obsess, become needy, and in the process make more mistakes. I would suggest you either move on or cut her off and give her the cold shoulder for a week or two and then wait to see if she contacts you. If she does be sure to casually mention when appropriate and in the context of the discussion that you are dating other women (even if it's not true, and if it isn't get out there cowboy!). This might make you appear more attractive. Don't suggest any plans to hang out and above all be short and sweet (text or phone). If she tries to plan a date with you...fine...don't be too accommodating, but accept if it's reasonable and works within your schedule. On that date...go balls out and make a move and kiss her. If she is receptive then do what you do...if she isn't then stop communicating with her.

There is only one thing to do: Make a FUCKING MOVE. Stop making excuses that the time was never right.

The only way you can find out if it's too late or not is if you make a move as soon as you get another date with her (movie at your place, dinner, whatever).

And remember: If you don't do it, you could regret it for the rest of your life.

_________________
Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html