I met this hb8 last week who is flirty. After our first conversation she said she'd facebook me about hanging out cuz my roommate has 2 cats and she loves cats. She doesn't. I run into her the next day at another social event. Again, she is very responsive, giving lots of IOI's and says she really will facebook me this time. She doesn't and under intense pressure from my roommate I friended and started a fb conversation. Again she is all Heyyyy! and such. At the end I say I hate fb conversations, give her my screen name and she should IM me. She gives me her sceen name too. I run into her at the gym and when I get home I IM her "following me around already..." She is again responsive and flirty. Since then we have spoken online a couple times at my initiative and ran into each other but she never initiates conversation. When I reminded her about coming over she suggested her friend come with her to my place...

I'm stuck, confused and frustrated. Any advice at all for this WBAFC would be truly appreciated. Thanks guys. If you need any additional info just ask.

(this is a repost from the newbie questions forum where no one responded)

She might be just oversocial or playing you. Thats right, you heard me! A girl play'a !

Just relax and feel free to push it forward by yourself.
There is no other choice really.

_________________
There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.

Hi IndianReaper!

Welcome to this forum!

Here are some facts from what I understand of your post. She hasn't really given any solid I.O.Is. But you are persisting. And that's ok. Keep gaming her. But if she is not initiating conversations, then that's a I.O.D. Does she ever email you? Does she write on your Fb wall?

She did not 'add' you, did she? I had the same problems with a few HBs I sarge in the field. They say they'll add me. They don't. So, I add them. But they are not presssing 'confirm'. So, I don't waste time. I move on.

In your case, persist for a while. Use this HB as training material. Don't expect anything. Be prepared to lose her. This should get rid of your anxieties about 'gaming' her. Just have fun with emails and other means. If she is still not giving you I.O.Is, just forget her.

To be honest, I don't think she is interested. But I don't know the girl.
Good luck anyway. Every HB teaches a lesson. Learn and move on and become a better PUA.

Happy gaming.

Thanks for the welcome and advice guys.

First, Stetson, if she is a female player does that mean she just wants me for ass? Cuz thats okay with me. Is that what being a female player implies?

Also, She did accept my friend request. I then spoke to her on the facebook chat, similar to AIM, where I got a heyyy! and such. I took that as an IOI but as things progressed I realized it could have just been her friendly personality.

Other things I considered IOI's include her response to my "following me around already..." C&F line with a "Yeah... I just couldn't help myself"(thats verbatim) and when we spoke face to face she gave me some standard IOI signs like leaning in, smiling and referring back to an early inside joke she made about us getting married. This was to the point that other people around us were commenting to me later that she seemed interested from an objective viewer POV.

However, I really am WBafc and I can only assume that as things went more my way I got over eager and did some huge DLV without realizing it or something. Or she was never really interested and as I tried to escalate incidental Kino and such she realized I was misinterpretting and withdrew.

I dunno. I feel like I'm not learning cuz I don't know where I went wrong or if I ever had a chance so this is just a painful experience with no positive benefit besides innoculating me to rejection.

Maybe its a lack of inner game cuz my posts really show how weak mine is though I thought I was hiding it well. We met in a location I am very comfortable in with tons of friends around who give me lots of social proof and support...

Does this have to be highlighted? She never initiates conversation? Can i get this straight real quick, you talk to her strictly online, but then when you see her in person theres not much or no talk? You really need to be striking up conversations then when you see her. I mean shit in my times chicks do not really say much, they are wanting you to do all the work regardless if your making it into her pants or if shes actually just using you/playing you. Why couldnt u have said ur C/F line in person to her at the gym ?

There's nothing wrong with starting in the "online" category but if that's all your keeping it at, and you havent snagged her number or began to strike up deeper conversations in person.....there's your main problem.

And she wants to bring her friend with her as backup, cause shes obviously unsure yet about coming to hang out with you alone.

Just a example on how this shit works out: I've walked into a room where me and my target girl were literally 1 on 1, all she said was hey! I said a few comments/tease she just giggled and said yeah!....I came back seconds later after grabbing a drink and struck up some deeper conversation which she finally unleashed with (multiple IoI's). Then after that every time I saw her she was open to my approach(almost waiting for it). Have to build a status with said chick for her to be interested and for things to progress, stuff just doesn't turn up without putting any effort into it.

I should kill this thread by letting you guys know that I have, since posting about it, struck out in such a spectacular and unspeakable way that it is completely dead and it would probably be better for my self esteem if I never saw her again.

I appreciate the help and, at least this time, I think reading PUA stuff had helped me see the many massive mistakes I made and hopefully with the next girl I'll make a few less irrecoverable mistakes and get a little further into the game.

Its funny how things were going badly in so many ways and I still managed to make them much much worse.

Again, thanks for the advice, and hopefully some day soon I'll be laughing about how bad I was and helping newbs get through the same crap I'm dealing with now.

that sucks man,
What happened?
Seems like she's just one of those girls that are overly nice. I know some girls (friends) that are super nice to almost anyone, even going as far as hugging and touching, but without any intentions of taking it further. A lot of the guys they do it to think they are ioi's and stuff and have similar situations to what sounds like happened to you.
I try and look out for these things, but sounds like you really didn't do much wrong, she just gave the wrong impression

if she was giving me the wrong impression then I must have been doing something wrong to not have gained more attraction or whatever so the IoIs would have been accurate representations of her feelings.

But in the end I just f'ed up. Highlights include getting into a fight with a girl I have had drama with in the past in front of her and at one point when we were chilling with like 5 people total she started doing a crossword puzzle and I helped instead of doing literally anything else... That's just the highlights not nearly a complete list.

Once the night was over and I realized my mistakes I was just thinking... I could literally not have done more things anti-PUA.

Chock it up to the learning experience

Now I'm an AFC aswell, and it's good that you know what you did wrong and are learning from it. But I think you are being to hard on yourself man. The mistakes that you have made are made by so much guys every day. Just let it be and be proud of yourself that you have tried.

I started reading your post because I am in this kind of situation aswell. A bit different but still as confusing and I also said some wbafc stuff to her. Learned that I have to stop waiting for approval and be more aggressive(in a good way ).

Greetz Fiets

A: She probably has a major crush on you, so comfort is your main priority right now, I reckon she may very well be intimidated by you. If you are going to meet with her ask if she wants to bring friends, this is an easy way to bypass any shyness caused flaking.

B: Your male, it is your perogative not hers, to take the initiative when courting.

Reaper, thanks for your post. as a fellow newbie, its nice to hear what challenges others are going through.

I agree with Feitsbel when he says you are being WAY too hard on yourself. Those things you mentioned werent too bad at all. I dont know the whole story, but she may have liked your passion when she saw you fight with the other girl. She may have enjoyed the fact that you spent time with her over everyone else. get out of your head and put yourself out there.

Oh, you may know this already, but if you can, end the convo first. great way to DHV. I love logging off AIM real quick 'gotta meet some friends. later!!', and then logging in later, and seeing the 'ok bye' from her earlier. ohhh, i know it works, cuz i feel like such a btch when im the one thats cut off. lol.

FACEBOOK (for everyone)

Some girl I met nailed me with this one, and have since stolen it:
I added her the night I met her (oops, DLV). I got a msg back, 'wow, you added me really fast'.

I have totally stolen this and even when I add girls and they confirm within a day or so, I say 'wow you confirmed really fast'.

Im sure you all could improve on it, but its a tasty little neg/tease you can throw in to raise your value/lower hers a bit via FB.

I am being hard on myself because I only ever really game girls I meet through friends which averages like 1 girl every few weeks so each one I mess up is a big disappointment. I guess I should game more girls using stuff I learned before I get mad when I drop the ball alittle. Practice makes perfect...

Anyways, If I need to develop comfort, how can I do that without being LGBF'ed. Especially if she is gone most of the time but planning to visit my area once in a while. I used some good DHV story, made me think of you, AIM game and cut the conversation short cuz people she knows were demanding my attention. I was pretty happy with the move though it didn't create any real results or change.

I find when I have AIM conversations too much that's a good way to find yourself in LGBF. My most hated of locations. So how do I build comfort without it?