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| Castle | PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:21 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:09 am Posts: 32 | | Ok guys...I posted this one under a different heading in the Newbie section but I feel like it's more applicable on this page. So here it goes...
Last Thursday I went out on a double date of sorts with a girl I had never met. My two friends (lets call them Jack and Jill) thought that this mutual friend of theirs (Jane) would be a perfect fit for me. So we all go out to this bar on our campus (I go to a University) and things go great. This girl ends up being pretty engaging and also really good looking. I end up walking her home and getting a k-close. Albeit it wasn't a great k-close but one nonetheless. Fast forward to the next night...long story short we end up meeting up at a party and hit it off again and this time the kino has been upped. We dance and talk some more and go back to her place and fool around in her bed - no f-close but truth be told I wasn't looking for one that soon.
Anyways the next few days we don't see each other because we are busy but stay in touch with some texts and calls. Which leads me to our latest date - the one that has me majorly bugged and why I'm writing this post in the first place. So this girl, Jane, is really into music and we go see a concert at school the other day. We make small banter and the like but for whatever reason I wasn't feeling comfortable. I couldn't tell you what it was - maybe it was being in her element where she knew some of the musicians and loved the music...whereas my knowledge and passion for music isn't nearly what hers is. So anytime the convo switches to that I feel lost. I usually ended up making ultra bland comments and asking her boring ass questions. Point is I ended up just being bland to talk to - which wasn't the case during our first two encounters. I just never hit a comfort zone.
So after the concert I make up some bullshit excuse about having a bunch of work to do for a class and walk her back to her place. I gave her a kiss but there wasn't much energy or passion from either of us when it happened. Which leads us to today - I texted her trying to get a playful convo going in the middle of the day when I was bored but I never got a response from her...which makes me think that she's not feeling me anymore.
Basically I need to put together a game plan. How do you go about building comfort and rapport after a hookup? I thought it would just come naturally but when it ended up being just us two at this damn concert I morphed into this boring dude without much to say. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it was but the fact that she didn't hit me back with a text today makes me think I might be onto something. So the question is - do I call her tomorrow? Should I attempt to set up a "movie night" at my place where I know that kino and physical escalation can take place? I don't want to seem needy but at the same time I need to find a way to redeem myself. I know this was a lot of background info but do any of you have any thoughts?
-C
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| Lemarc | PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:19 am | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:55 am Posts: 148 Location: Seattle, Wa | | just relax.. Don't over think it. The sweetest gift is to be missed.. So let her miss you for a few days. In the meantime refresh yourself and clear your head of her, talk to a few girls. Then resume play.
U wanna build comfort and report, right?? U should call her. It's a pretty big compliance test when away, so take a chance. This should see where u stand if she answers/calls back. If she doesn't answer/call back then freeze out for a good week and realize there's other girls. My impression is that she might've realized u didn't share the same passion as her. Which is music. With most people if you don't understand what really motivates them then you don't understand them and there's no connection. I'm guessing she wanted there to be a deep connection besides small talk and banter and she didnt see it with you. That's just what I think, could be wrong. _________________ I made the mistake of being charming and handsome... I apologize
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| swish11 | PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:14 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:45 am Posts: 18 Location: Earth | | Personally, I think you should of f-closed when you had the chance and if you still felt the connection afterward it wouldn't have made the concert so awkward because you would have connected on a deeper level already. During the concert if you had nothing to say then you hadn't done your homework, you should of known the band before and if you knew music was her style you should try to find small interesting facts about the band that she might not know, then when she goes into detail you can explain that you didn't know that particular aspect and would like to learn more, or quiz her with the small things you do know. You need building blocks and I don't know why you even would of went there without anything in mind already.
It seems as though she has already lost interest so you need to step up your confidence and just call her out on why she's not returning your messages. Text her once and let that be it. Let her test you and turn it into a little game, if you call her out and she responds, even if its negative, its a good thing. Turn on your man skills and charm her, only let her know she's worth chasing if she comes to you, otherwise your a guy and know that theres plenty of fish in the sea. _________________ Swish because every shot is perfect.
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