Hey everyone! Its been a long time since Ive logged on here.
I used help and give help to and from a lot of people on the chats.
The reason Ive been gone is because I felt like I mastered enough mentality and ideas of not only a pickup artist but as a man, a confident hunter gatherer with the right ideas and ambitions in life.
And that hasnt gone away, but my girlfriend and I of less than 3 years broke up a couple of days ago.
I AM AWARE OF ONE-ITIS, AND I HAVE RESOLVED THAT BY AGREEING NOT TO GET BACK RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE IT HAD GONE SOUTH BUT HELP AND HERE ME OUT 
At one point in time we were great, our peers looked up to us as the model relationship. Everyone thought we were great and cute, and really cheering us on.
We thought we'd get married - jokingly had kids named picked out.
But lately up to the break up, we've been fighting more than usual.
and have less sexy times.
At some point of the relationship, I think I fogged the line between confident attitude to relying stictly on PUA methods. Everytime she did something wrong, sometimes I wouldnt truly react but I would think what would a PUA do to prevent this again? I would say a lot of PUa lines like "im not jealous, you can see that - but its a matter of respect. and I felt like you didnt respect me" bu I look back sometimes and it just wasnt a big deal. My inner AFC or amateur PUA just wanted to prevent it from becoming a big deal. examples like I just came back from a 2 week trip and first thing she does is hang out with her friends. Also, you know how theres a big brigade in the PUA community for "tell, dont ask". That didnt work after awhile, we started disliking more of eachothers idea and before that we had always compromise - happily, but lately it had been "but i wanna do this" "I dont like that".
And I guess she had lower libido than average girls. I mean when she was horny it was clear but as of late maybe 2-3 months before break up, I initiated less and less because I was tired of initiating, and when I didnt nothing happened. Later she revealed to me that after awhile it felt like a chore, which really sucked to hear. And I said I understood, like the pressure of it like in a job description and it wasnt fun anymore. But its like every time I broke her last minute defenses shed ask for more, be really estastic, have orgasms etc. But then agian she often had after-guilt. But like I said, I dont see where I wouldve been demanding, like maybe for a week or a month of constant iniitiation but I realized what I was doing and stopped, waiting for her.
I'm not stupid, I'm great a foreplay (she loves the ears and neck) and I know how to work the nipples and gspot. Joking aside, I think this might be a parental/religious thing that shes coping with.
Anyway, we hadnt seen eachother alot during the summer, we both work and we both had 2 week family/friend vacations each. Maybe once per week we'd see other which is very different from school. I this this caused a loss of the "pizzazz" of me, the charming guy everyone likes, walking through the halls or seeing her by surprise or have something to talk about whether our friends or eachother accomplishments. But summer was really bland at times, I talked a lot about work and she'd talk a lot about nothing. At one point of our relationship, we loved talking to eachother, but we got lazy. and its the chicken or the egg, who got lazy first? "I dont write long texts becuase you reply short""I write short because you dont send long texts""I dont call because you dont call". Again, some old PUA things like "make her chase you, dont call her if she doenst call you" type crap. Sometimes Id get home from long work and dont feel like talking to anyone, but she gets mad when I do. and sometimes I wake up and think if i dont text her good morning she'll be mad. Again, PUA tactic - well I will be mad too if she woke up first and didnt text me so its fair on both ends to expect of that. But I didnt mind if she didnt text first, but PUA instinct told me i must teach her to be fair.
Now here is the part about me. I began to lose physical attraction for her as she began to give me less. Again, chicken or the egg. I think I masturbated everyday this summer - a sad truth. Of course, you guys know what that does to your mind. You dont give a fuck about shit. Got off work, go masturbate, text girlfriend? Nah. So I think that was one reason why "I changed" and wasnt the person I was or who I am really am: a charming guy. So the breakup was a slap in the face to STOP MASTURBATING. and Ive tried before, but now I have to motivation too, this break up is a good thing.
Secondly, I got into gambling. I'm only 18. Once I spent my whole $400 paycheck of 2 weeks and gambled it away. I would always make a shit ton of money, 100 to 300, 200 to 400 - but I would keep going until I loss more 200 to 0, 400 to 0. and Repeat. I took some of that angst towards her I guess. I often think, would I treat her that way if my day wasnt that bad? Would my happy winnings transfer to me treating her better? So I vowed to STOP GAMBLING. I am too young, too addictive, and too greedy to waste my money on that. Good breakup #2.
Also, school is coming up - my first year at university. We had always talked about how shitty its going to be, with me being 3 hours away being bombarded by thousands of horny college girls. But this now gave me an opportunity to experience the reality of it all and not be held back. Before, she sadly said multiple times "what if you go to college and you fall in love with a college girl?
" and at the break up conversation "dont wait for me" With lots of tears :/ Sure, we werent happy together, but at one time we were so it still sucks to think like that.
During the break up some lines:
I asked her if she still sees me in her future, and he shook her head no and sobbing. (That hurt the most)
She asked me if we could still be friends because I was such a prominent part of her life and at one time we could talk to eachother - of course I said no.
I asked her if I was still physically attracting to her, she said of course about great guy hand some, but the sexy time seemed like such a chore.
And she asked if we could still talk, and I said "why talk now? Because theres no pressure now" like we used to be. Talk because we wanted to not because we felt like we had to.
She said herself without my asking that even though she doesnt want sexy times with me but its not like she wants it with anyone else either so not like another guy in the picture. Shes very family and friend orientated so she wont trying to find a crying shoulder guy right now but definately be with freinds and family even more now.
She said, who knows maybe Ill end up goign to your school and things work out but i dont see that right now
and I ended on something like I didnt come here to to get back together but just to understand what really went down (preivous was angry text breakup). Ultimately I said, perhaps its one of those times again where we become better people when we are apart (last time we broke up, I was needy and she was immature - got better, been together 17 months).
Heres is my plea:
Yes, I am excited for college, to meet new people - new women, of course.
No, I never did or will beg for her back - it was mutual that we werent happy.
We did try to figure out why we changed.
She said she didnt know if thats just what happens to people for being together too long.
I did not tell her about my masturbation habits, though she knows Im very horny.
All in all, I think this happend for a reason, For us to become better people. Perhaps God's way of making get back on the awesome path - whether your religious or not, maasturbating everyday and gambling away large sums is never good.
All of this is very genuine, she cried a lot - it was any devious fast way to get with another guy or anything like that, just misery.
Anyway, we parted ways with a long hug and I kissed her forehead and left.
I leave for college next week. She is in her last year of high school, started yesterday.
Whatever happens happens.
My conversation to you guys is what do you think of it all? YES I KNOW I WILL GET A LOT OF BULLSHIT ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL AND STUFF LIKE DUDE YOURE GONNA FUCK SO MANY WOMEN IN COLLEGE.
Neither of us are directly planning to get back together, this happened when I was AFC and improved my game and we got back 3 months after because she misses me and I had become such a respectable charming man in those months of training.
However, we do love eachother and did have visions of life together at one point.
Itd would suck to be under a girls shirt and see us in white outfits with our 2 children running along the beach ahah ;D
Life is short, I am young - world ahead me.
Okay PUA community lets hear it.
CHAT