OK so two nights ago I had a talk with GF about the relationship and lately ive been feeling so so about it so I decided I would bring it up. I told her I wasnt sure where it was going and also that we have very different lives etc shit of that nature. I also mentioned that I wanted to make sure she did not have unresolved feelings for her ex who she dated for 3.5 years.

Altho i never actually felt that she had feelings still for her ex. Her affection and care for me was very pure.

Looking back maybe the shit that I said was pretty AFC and made me look like super doubtful and shit about myself and about her and the relationship.

But in my silly mind I was thinking it would cause some turbulence or some kind of shit since I felt like that was what was needed.

Anwyays we ended on a great note that night and her even telling me she was ready to lose her virginity to me.

Next day, she tells me "last night convo messed me up " and proceeds to tell me that shes been really confused for about a week and she cries when shes alone and when shes with me shes super happy and when shes not shes confused and questions things. This with what I had told her last night made her come to the conclusion that we should take a break.

She started saying that she really cares about me but thinks we may have rushed the relationship and pressured me into making her my gf and also pressured me into making me say that i love her and care for her and now she feels guilty.

In my head im thinking this is such retarded shit because things were going fine other than I was probably being too good to her. But it was a good relationship and Im not one to enjoy playing games or anythign like that.

So at the end I told her Im completely fine with taking a break and if thats what she actually felt then we definately needed a break, and I left. She started crying saying she doesnt want to hurt me and for me to get upset etc etc.

I assured her that I wasnt hurt and I wasnt upset and I left.

She texted later saying "i deactivated facebook dont think i defriended u" to which i said "lol ok.." and then she says "r u ok?" to whcih i said "i am and I hope you are too, good nite".. and she replied "ill b fine as long as your not mad at me xx"

SO.. thats where it stands.

Im not even sure I would take this bitch back because i dont have the time nor effort to deal with 20 year old drama . BUT,, what is the best play assuming i DID want her back..

thanks

something not right here ... dated for 3.5 years ? what made you believe she's a virgin ? you probably have some insecurity.. her talking about losing her virginity to you could be a lie to make you comfortable. could be .. she sounds like broken material .. she is just seeking attention , playing victim by telling she feels guilty and all that shit.. i've dated girls like this and they are broken material in most cases. o yes and never talk about feelings for ex-gf/bfs .. it kills attraction.

how to get her back .. well .. im sorry to say but this is her issue.. i think it doesn't have much to do with you. her behaviour is confusing, approval seeking and very impulsive. her thingy with the facebook is total bullshit..it could mean she wants you to get angry like you really give a fuck , 2 it could be a shit test she wants you to get angry so dumping you would be easier , 3 it can be a desperate cry for attention and approval...

anyway it's just facebook .. wtf is she talking about ? why does she even need to do this ? just look at her behaviour i see some signs of manipulative behaviour.. she is emotionally unstable - don't get involved with woman like this if it affects you. look everything is possible .. could be she turns around.. from experience i can only give you the advice to dump her ... delete her facebook, delete her number , don't talk to her anymore and just let her think you are mad. if you are angry she probably will use that against you that's why you don't need to talk to her.

aside from that...
well did you fuck her ? if she really lost her virginty to you she probably is emotional confused which is understandable. if that is the case you don't want to take a break - you should comfort her on a emotional level and be with her.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

well she dated him when she was 16 and moved overseas at 18 so they were only together 2 years and then 1.5 years long distance...

its 100% sure that she is a virgin. anyways thats not the issue..
no i never banged her because it has only been 4 months but she was almost ready to do it but then this happened.

she could be broken material. shes extremely emotional, highs and lows..but very affectionate and loving. was always all over me every time i was with her.

her final point was that she doesnt think shes ready to be in a relationship even though she really wants to be with me.... and that because it moved fast and we were so "in love" that it was making her confused bla lbabla bla....i was expecting something liek this because shes young ..

she texted me again this morning; "i know my sister accepted you as a friend on fb i hope you wont remove her now "....

in my head im thinking why did i even like this type of girl but i think it was a challenge for me to get her and make her mine and bang her because in the beginning she was playing SUPER hard to get.

i didnt reply to her stupid message and i will not be talking or replying to her at all.

but i wont delete her from fb cuz i just added like half her fucking family..
it doesnt really matter as long as i dont cave in and talk to her directly i think its all good..

its not that bad because now i can get with other chicks, something that Ive been wanting to do but i was a very good boyfriend to her. she has lost me now and i doubt i will take her back im sure she will beg soon but fuck that.

thx lode

no problem ! the choice you make is a good one...
is her sister hot ? do you like her sister ?

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

haha unfortunetly her sister is not as hot as she is.

but there are a couple of things i learned and can be learned from this case.

1) about 6 weeks in she asked if i was seeing other girls and hinted that we should be exclusive.. a few days later i asked her to be my gf... this was a mistake because i shodl have been like "lets just see where it goes blablabl" and extend it at least 6 more weeks before making her my gf

2) one day about 10 weeks in i told her i loved her when she was being very emotional and saying shit like "i know your gona break up with me eventually" shit liek that. so even tho I said the L word i didnt really mean it because you cant love someone (truly love) after just 10 weeks . this was another mistake

these two points she even brought them up last nite citing them as examples as to why this was too rushed and why she was all confused and doubting things etc

oh well. i was just going along with the shit that came up, because i always thoguht that if shit hits the fan, i would have no problem nexting her instantly. so this is what im going to do now.

tell her...

that you agree with her decision,

AND you are even feeling like it was a really smart choice!

then, tell her...

that you totally think it was the right decision,

AND that you are really enjoying yourself in life.

then................

freeze the bitch out.

(without acting affected AT ALL)

stick to the freeze out.

until she calls back and wants you back,

IF she doesn't, move on...

actually, move on right now in the mean time.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

mm bummer ... wait .. does she have a hot mom ? lol

those mistakes you have made .. you will never make those mistakes again.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

@ mack.. thats the plan, especially the moving on part. i actually am excited to see how my PU skills fare on the market because i was red hot before meeting her

@lode yes thats true however I already knew not to make them but i still did for some reason, thinking that it was ok to do it if both people are on the same wavelength so to speak. and in this case it really felt like it was... thats why im a little shocked at this uppercut she threw but it happened for a reason. i guess time will tell what she decides but I may already be over her once she comes back

but for sure if im ever with a similar girl and in a similar situation i will not give myself up as fast as it happened here. I think subconscionsly i was pushing things forward so that I could sleep with her

So she barely lasted 24 hours and "wanted to talk" last night.

Earlier on in the day i didnt reply to her silly text.

She asked for me back saying all the usual shit. I told her I was really tired and would call her today to discuss shit further. I dont know what to do but I will proceed with caution. Her behaviour was a turn off for me.

More lessons can be learned here.

NEVER give up your frame. I did give her the status she wanted and love she wanted but I had NO problem letting go of it all the second she started playing games.

If i had gotten angry and reactive, she would have taken it as a sign that Im not capable of handling her. But since I barely let it affect me and she could feel that, it reassured her that I am the man.

Such outcomes are less likely without guys like Lode and Mack who give solid advice day in and day out on these boards.

Cheers