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| Author | Message |
| Anon7022 | PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:45 am | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:43 pm Posts: 29 | | Hi guys thanks for the help,
I have been in a relationship for 6 months now. She just left to travel europe for the summer (2 months) and will have only Email communication while traveling on the ship over (10 days). Once in europe she will be going into land every week for a couple days where she can SPAM, text, and facebook chat. My question is HOW OFTEN and for HOW LONG should I Email, SPAM, text, or facebook chat during the LDR???
So far I have only sent 1 email a day even though she says I should check my email more because I am just trying to use classic PUA interest level tactics, not be too available, and not message her too much. At the same time, I do not want her to think I am not trying to make the relationship work or put in enough effort by only sending 1 email a day.
I am trying to figure out the BALANCE between communicating TOO LITTLE (her thinking it won't work due to my lack of effort) and communicating TOO MUCH (over loading her with emails and pushing her away thinking I am trying to hard to stay in touch).
Appreciate the help! Thanks!
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| FastFlyer | PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:55 am | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum | Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:11 pm Posts: 144 | | Well what type of a person is she? Does she like to communicate each day? I think this is person dependent, for example my GF like to text, SPAM every day but at times life gets in the way and takes up more of our personal time that we need to recover. So if you are forcing contact it may be bad. If she is having fun on a vacation I think it would be ok to contact every day or at least every other day. If she is communicating that you should check your email each day, than maybe you should but again make sure you are giving her pleasant. I have failed in that department lately since my life is getting overwhelming and I just don't have energy to be the happy go lucky guy she is used to. We will see how it works out in the long run. Good Luck!
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| Hakuna | PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:38 pm | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Zealot |  | Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 5:03 am Posts: 408 Website: http://solvemygirlproblems.com | | 2:3 is the Golden Ratio.
For every 2 e-mails she sends, you send 3.
If she never sends concurrrent e-mails, you haven't built enough attraction.
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| SmexiBoi | PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:22 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:01 am Posts: 5 | | I say you listen to your gut on this one. What you're doing right now is likely going to set a precedent for any contact in the relationship that continues out of this.
People know LDRs are rough and often don't expect you to go out of your way during them, just that you put in an honest effort. Don't worry so much about 'game logic' here; she already likes you enough to want you to stay in contact with her despite the fact that she is going to be surrounded by "exotic" men for two months. You are already winning, you just need to solidify that position by showing her that you have a legitimate interest.
If anything, what's going to score you better marks in the relationship isn't how much you stay in contact and how available/unavailable you make yourself seem to be; rather you're going to be graded on whether or not you pay attention to what she does have to say. Take in the details, superfluous as though they may seem, and then use them to your advantage. Quality over quantity.
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| Psych3r | PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:42 pm | |
| Offline | | Member of MPUA Forum |  | Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:47 pm Posts: 174 | | I would say it depends on how you guys were before she left. I know some people who live together and talk once a day tops. I also people who are inseperable. I know both types to have strong and weak relationships.
My advice is to basically emulate the way you were at lesser more reasonable frequency.
if you were in the habit of talking once a day, every other day on average. If you used to talk for 3 hours, keep it to an hour but have the same types of conversations.
If you went 2 or 3 days without checking in before, go to twice a week.
The key is to maintain familiar consistency. If a girl is in a nother place with other people doing other things her brain will begin to associate it with "a new begining" and so new people will also be NEW.
however, if you can maintain a routine of consitency it creates an anchor that she can keep fresh in her mind as a familiar tie to "home", with you being home base.
You want her to keep fresh in her mind that she doesn't have a NEW life, she's just in a NEW place with the same ties to the old life that she loved so much. If you try to play bullshit games because you think it will "Game her" from across the ocean you will just simply push her away and loose her to some temporary fantasy guy. You will kick yourself for it.
Some other tricks are to ask her regularly to do "cute" things for you. You don't so much have to care, just do it. Like ask her to get a picture of herself in front of X monument for you. Send her on a scavenger hunt for something you actually want or think is cool. Tell her you want to see pictures when she goes out so you can feel like you are there with her.
What that will do is keep her life framed around you and at the front of her mind. You are much more likely to keep her active and interested in you from afar that way because in her mind it's like you are still there. _________________ "Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."
-Psych3r-
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| MisterRon | PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 6:21 am | |
| Offline | | MPUA Forum Enthusiast | Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:48 am Posts: 74 Location: Australia | | This is balance is great topic ive been wanting to post for some time now. Good info
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