Just fyi, this is a rough draft of some stuff I'm working on, but I thought it might be interesting enough for some people to check out. If you have any feedback, I'm always very happy to hear it!
As David Deida points out, women are always about continuance and things not ending; whereas men are focused on bringing things to a conclusion, creating a situation in which things will somehow end. In relationships between people there are 2 possible conclusions; either one person submits to the other or the relationship ends. Due to the inherent nature of ongoing relationships of any nature between people, if one person submits in a situation, then another situation where one will have to submit to the other again in the future. The same person doesn’t have to always submit to the other, although complete submission of one party to the other is the true resolution of the situation because then the outcome of any situation will already be assured, which is the ultimate goal of the male desire to finalize things.
If one partner submits to the other completely and the dominant partner isn’t aware of their partner’s own wants and desires, then it is easy for the submissive partner to become resentful. If one partner resents the other, then if both people are well-adjusted, one will eventually end the relationship unless they are able to resolve the resentment. Open communication about each other’s thoughts and emotions is needed to ensure this doesn’t happen along the way or once dominance has been asserted.
In the alternative, from the start of the relationship there are continuous “test” situations that are initiated by one or both parties. Initially the female tends to present more of these situations than the male; so-called “shit tests” are incredibly common especially in bars and other mate-selecting arenas in life. In initial interactions women are prone to saying things with seemingly no correct response; the ability to recognize and use cunning to avoid these situations like a ninja is the invisible 3rd option that you must choose in order to pass the tests. Examples include girls asking you to buy them drinks, asking what you do for a living, telling you they have a boyfriend and various other things they say to blow-off weak competitors who are assumed to be inferior mates. That’s right, many of those girls don’t actually have boyfriends, or they could care less and will be fucking the guy who doesn’t back down as easily as you did.
Once past the initial tests meant to weed out the masses of lesser men a woman will begin to lower her defenses and open herself up to a man. From this point on, it is almost entirely the man’s responsibility for how the relationship will go by where he leads it, how far he pushes it and how fast. The feminine state is that of submission to the masculine (although it must be understood that men can be in the feminine, just as women can be in the masculine, although we will assume the man masculine and the woman feminine for ease of discussion) and when the man is given the role of the masculine in order to lead and determine where things will go, the woman decides how much she is willing to submit to the man. If the man pushes too far, too fast, or in a direction that the woman isn’t willing to go, then the woman then can stop submitting and allowing the man to lead.
In an established relationship partners will typically increase the amount of slack that they will give each other in order to remain within their boundaries and are more open about telling them their boundaries and forgiving any missteps. The more forgiving and understanding the relationship, the greater it’s chance for survival. In successful relationships partners gain an innate understanding of each other’s boundaries and learn not to continue pushing those boundaries once they have felt resistance, as well as being open when those incidents cause intense feelings in either partner. Due to the man still being in control of taking the lead of how far things are pushed, if he doesn’t find ways to discover where the boundaries are, he can easily find himself still pushing when he long ago should have dropped a subject. This is often caused by the masculine desire to continue pushing until a satisfying conclusion is reached, which if pursued will eventually end in the destruction of the relationship, as that is the only other true conclusion aside from complete submission.
It needs to be understood that this is about the masculine desire to bring things to conclusion and not any claim that relationships must conclude. The nature of relationships is that continuous relating is required for the ongoing existence of the relationship in harmony. This conflict between the masculine desire to bring things to a recognizable conclusion, to be sure of what answer will be given, what the outcome will be and the feminine desire to leave things unfinished and inconclusive is the struggle we must all face within ourselves. This is not something that we can fight or change within each other, or between us, this is not a battle of the sexes; this is the quest for interpersonal enlightenment that we are all a part of and that we have been confused into believing is actually a war against ourselves and each other.
CHAT
