It has been 2 1/2 weeks since the last time my girl and I have had sex. I am getting blue balls!!!

A little back story... My girl moved back in her parents house so we can save some $ to get married next year. Before she moved back with her folks, we had sex on a regular basis. Now she says she can't even get turned on. She complains about how she feels bad having sex when family is in other rooms near by. I can understand her to an extent, except for the last time we had sex, she was dancing on top of me in her bed naked!

The there is other times were she is horny and wants to have sex, but when we get to bed, she comes up with some excuse, "i'm tired", etc... Then she tells me how she feels bad we don't get to have sex and how she misses the way we always used to. I asked her what is it that turns you on. She says it has been so long that she forgot...Bullshit!!

My impression is that she doesn't put a premium on having sex. How do I get her place importance on having sex? I don't want to sound like a horny pervert, I just want to have sex.

Thanks

Ok lol i dont want to put bad thoughts in your head but anythings possible...
maybe she is getting it from someone else?
maybe she is sick of the same old boring routine of sex and you need to spice it up?
or maybe she really is just worried about her family hearing you two...

if i was in this situation i'd probably tell her if she's not going to give it to me then ill find it somewhere else lol... but im an asshole... you dont sound like an asshole so that probably isnt a good idea to do that lol... however... you could go to a sex shop, buy some sex toys and then tell her you have a surprise for her... let the anticipation build then BAM! bring out the toys lol...
if she really is scared of her parents hearing then she needs to either move out... or get over it because thats like a 16 year olds excuse lol...

sorry if that didnt help at all but its better then getting no reply

_________________
A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

Ouch, shitty situation.

You NEED to address this issue. Talk to her about it. Tell her it's problematic. As shallow as it seems, I don't see how anyone could commit to someone who has no libido.

Try to find out what the deal is. Good luck man, I feel for ya.

That's what happens if you're about to get married...she stops trying, she's got you:P

thread moved to the relationships board

Savlon has a point here. As bad as it may seem, he may be on the spot. Signs of cheating girlfriends are that she starts to drift away from you, emotionally and physically. When she starts to be indifferent about things you both used to do together and liked. As much as it may hurt you, Savlon made a very good point that she could be getting it somewhere else. Now don't rush into conclusions, it may be something else, she may be feeling bad, she may be stressed, or she may be worried about something, its only been 2 weeks since she moved back to her parents, maybe she doesn't feel comfortable in there. I used to live with my dad and her wife, and my girlfriend didn't liked to have sex there, we still did, and then I moved with my mom to a smaller house, and she still doesn't like it here, but we still do, and oh my does she try to be quiet when my mom is in the next room. Now, I don't know your ages, but that could be the problem, its different for us, you probably wouldn't mind a lot if there was family in your house. Lets hope that this is the case, or that she's sick or feeling bad about something. Try to notice the small things, if she's acting distant or indifferent about you, or maybe she even starts to dress different. Talk about the situation, she knows that if she doesn't give you sex, you can get it somewhere else.
Talk to her, find out what is bothering her.
Good luck!

Most things have been said here, and I want to add my own experience.

With my girlfriend I have had sex in my mother's place but never in her parents' place. I was facing the same problem when I lived for a week in her parents' flat.
The difference is, that my mother is pretty liberal and we hear her also from time to time with a lover in bed, and my girl's parents are really, really conservative and so my girl was really, really afraid of them noticing anything. She would turn down any overture as long as we were in her parents' flat.

But I understood that it really was only because of her parents as she had borrowed a friends' flat that were on holiday. Things were cool there

So before jumping to conclusions, you could try sleeping over in hotels or other places you can think of to test her libido.

Do you not have your own place you can take her?

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~Carmo~

k being turned on for a girl happens mostly in our heads
we are not so much like a guy getting visually turned on
can i suggest if you want to turn her on, you start the 'foreplay' early in the day (like breakfast time), not once you are in bed
all through the day, strokes, kisses, little naughty touches, little things you say, texts, naughty notes for her to find, things you wud love to do, maybe a nice dinner out, glass of wine, bubble bath, maybe by bedtime, with candles, she will be dying for it and wont care about her parents
alternatively, if all else fails get a hotel room

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Yeah, if you´re really desesperate about it, go rent a hotel room or motel if you´re in a budget. I used to think too much about this problem, about getting intimate living with my folks. I don´t have sex everyday of the week, but I have it often, when my folks are not home and I know they won´t be there for at least some hours. Only once have I rented a hotel room, and it was to stay there all day and celebrate my birthday. How much can a room be for a day? 50 Bucks?

yeh i agree with ariana
get her soooooooo worked up via push pull and by going 2 steps forward 1 step back to build the anticipation and if you do it right... i dont think she'll care where the fuck she is lol good luck brother

_________________
A wise man once told me
"Bros before hoes, unless hoes have no clothes!"

That's what happens if you're about to get married...she stops trying, she's got you

And that my friend sums it up, in my opinion.

If I get a hint from my girl that she is bored, or things are getting routine and predictable, I change EVERYTHING around on her. I take her world and turn it up side down and side ways (emotionally). After a few days of this she starts wearing skimpy outfits trying to seduce me. It works like a charm...

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene

This.

Search for my post about the points game too.

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Some very valid points were made in this conversation, as for the poster may I suggest a book that I've been reading lately- that has been drawing some very decent thoughts, and ideas about the opposite gender?

My Secret Garden.

It's about women's sexual fantasies. Take a look at it, I'm glad I've been reading it, it's a great read, and you can look more into the other end, I'm not saying this is a cure, but it will help you better understand. Or connect to her in a more physical, erotic fashion.

_________________
"He is in command of my actions and seems to
be the leader of the men." -The Secret Garden, Women Sexual Fantasies.

"“The best way to get the person you want is to not be afraid to lose them” ~Neil Strauss

The place is very likely not the true problem.

Just a month ago, I was dating a particular girl. I had just finished my 2nd date with her and went back to her place.

She also wanted sex and brought it to the edge and then backed off. She said she's been living in her apartment for 4 years and had never had sex with anybody in it, including her various boyfriends.

In my mind, that was not a good enough excuse to stop this from happening. I made sure to keep the tension up and gently pushed for it here and there while she mulled it over. Eventually, I got sick of waiting and started kissing her neck.

She said "This is bordering on foreplay."I responded with "yea but not quite."

Literally ten seconds later she was naked.

Sometimes you just need to take the initiative and make it happen no matter how long it takes.

Just for a reference for you, I let her think about it while keeping the tension for about 20 min before i jumped in, which frankly was probably too long but each situation requires different ingredients.

Try it out.

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