Passive aggressive behaviour



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 3:28 pm 
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Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about six months now. For the most part things are good, though she would occasionally send me a message complaining about how I don't pay her enough attention and if I didn't start she may fall out of love with me, I took it as her just being bored (I study, play in a full time band and have a lot of friends I like to see- she sits at home a lot) and quickly put a firm but fair end to it.

Since then I have noticed that if we go a little while without seeing one another, or I am busy and don't give her my undivided attention, she will do little passive aggressive things. A notable example is on her Facebook she always has something about how much she loves me in her bio, and then it will disappear (only to come back again the next time I see her).

So far I've just completely ignored it and given her nothing to make her think I even see it, just curious if that's the right way to go about it? It really does get to me a bit and I'm not quite sure how to act.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 10:44 am 
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Bump!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:56 pm 
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I think the best style of communication and behavior is assertive. When you're assertive, you're clear, direct, expressive of your needs, but respectful of the other person at the same time.

Even if a person gives you passive aggressive behavior, you will create the best results in a situation if you remain assertive. Fighting fire with fire doesn't work in this kind of contexts.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 5:50 pm 
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Damn, tell her to get a hobby (dancing, martial arts, painting, whatever). lol. That will allow her to not devote so much attention thinking about you. You should speak to her about it so that she is aware that you are a busy person and that she needs to do something also--that way, she will not play this cat mouse BS on you (unless you like this behavior from her)...

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:39 pm 
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I agree with Lorenzo321's comment. Her type of behavior is annoying. She will complain that you don't give her enough attention, then turn around and complain that you give her TO MUCH attention if you give her what she wants.

You are better off being the man she can't catch than the boy always available when she needs to feel better about herself. She will be less likely to get bored with you this way and her interest level will remain high, which is what you want.

Personally, I would ignore her BS games as well.

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Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene


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