Just a quick question guys...

Im currently in my first sort of relationship so Im basically figuring this one out on the go. It's been just over 2 weeks and I havent had to consult the forum until now, because fortunately things for the most part have been going great. Well I haven't F-closed her yet, but I respect the fact that she won't give it up that easily.

Anyways, the only thing that bothers me when I'm with her is that she does spend a lot of time texting and the thing is, she's mostly texting back guys who are trying to game her and she's definitely not interested in them. So I'm not jealous or anything, I just would like her to go easy on the texting when she's hanging out with me.

I have brought it up with her a bunch of times, but I dont feel I've been assertive enough with her. I dont want to say "you cant text at all while your with me", but I feel like I should say "look, my time is valuable and I dont like spending it with you when your sitting on your phone texting the whole time. If you want to go and text away, then I have several other things I could be doing. So you have to make up your mind. Im not saying dont text, I'm just saying stop texting every single second your phone blows up"

any input you guys could give me would be really appreciated.

I think you need to put your foot down and be stern about it. Someone who is texting while out on a date or even a semi-date is blatant disrespect. But its also a mixed blessing because anyone who is willing to engage in text in these situations might be trying to tell you something...if she still persists, where ever you are...regardless if you are in a resturaunt, movie or wherever...LEAVE! just get up and leave...

If I go out with someone that is texting I stop paying attention to him and start talking to other people and I slowly ignore him and start flirting my way out in front of his eyes with another man.

And if he gets upset then I tell him that he is boring and rude and that I have better things to do.

I have to agree with mr.amazing and a_girl. its a sad thing but i relate social interaction like training a pet the longer you let it go on the more likely it is to become acceptable behavior. next time she does it dont say anything just show her that you have other things you could be doing.

I had the same problem not too long ago and i realized that my ex didnt get the point unless i was doing something more interesting then she was and wouldnt let her be a part of it. Such as if im at a restaurant or coffee shop i would strike a conversation with the waitress or person at the counter, make jokes, smile laugh. let her know that if she doesnt realize you're in demand there are other girls that really enjoy talking to you.

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Here to learn, improve, and contribute.

Tell her exactly that.

I've been through exactly what you're experiencing right now. Doesn't matter if you're in a relationship with a girl or just friends - there's still a certain amount of respect that should be shown when hanging out with someone.

Don't be afraid to tell her what's on your mind.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Tell her

" I don't give everyone the chance to hang out with me , you're lucky enough to spend time with me so I want you to appreciate your time with me "

so, you have told her how you feel more than one time now and she hasnt changed her unacceptable behaviour

why?...simple....because what she is doing is still working for her...she is still gaining from it...and not losing anything..you told her you dont like it, but you are still 'accepting it' therefore she doesnt yet realise it's unacceptable behaviour

examples of what motivates this behaviour/how is she gaining:

• she feels popular with all the boys texting her
  you know she is popular and desirable and you could lose her at any moment
  you have asked her not to do something and she is ignoring the situation - she is letting you know that you need her more than she needs you
  she is controlling the situation not you

i dont think you should ask/tell her again, its clearly not working, in fact to the contrary every time you ask her please not to do it, it reinforces the message to her that you value her attention but nothing will happen if she ignores your request.

time to put her on the naughty step: remember to ignore the unacceptable behaviour you want to discourage and reward the behaviour you want to encourage

next time and each time she does this, do not comment on her texting behaviour at all. ignore it. wait until she has finished, then let her start talking about something interesting to her, then whilst she is literally mid sentence, abruptly but calmly do one of the following:

• -get up and walk away/go outside/talk to someone else about nothing important without saying a word of explanation then return and sit down about 3 minutes later as if you hadnt gone anywhere - when she says where did you go, just say, oh nowhere special
  -find something to read or look at and study it intently, completely ignoring her
  get out your phone and start writing a text, ask the textee to text you back in a minute about the thing you are asking them about
  - if necessary leave where you are altogether, just look at your phone, tell her 'i'm just popping outside for a minute to make a call', then text her from outside, you are going to be a few minutes, then after 10 minutes text her 'somethings come up, i've gotta go, see you soon', and just leave without further explanation

whatever you do, do not apologise,explain or excuse yourself at any point or in any way or use the word 'sorry'.ie dont say 'sorry i've got to go' or excuse me i just need to go to text my mate/check something on my phone'

its very important that you must also reward the behaviour you want to encourage. this means that if she doesnt text back or pick up her phone, again dont mention the text itself, but give her some small extra attention - a kiss, a hug, pay her a compliment...whatever

its important that she learns a consistent lesson from you so dont weaken

if you try all this for a decent length of time, and her behaviour isnt improving, and you really want to take control rather than dump her, then when her phone beeps and she answers it, take it out of her hand, turn it off, put it in your pocket, and tell her she can have it back at the end of the lesson if she is a good girl, but for now you want her full attention.

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James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Oh man. When I read yours post I was really thinkg for appropriate solution for you. And than like little prof Baltazar awoke in me, and great idea fell on my mind.
Just do this, when she start's texting, take yours mobile phone, sign in at facebook or twiter, wherever she is, and start chat with her.

First, I wanted to make joke from you, but it seems the really cool way to make her attention to this problem.
If it didn't work nor any other constructive talk, you should dump her!
But if you want the such a girl you still have t_ASH's solution which is pretty smart idea.

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I would appreciate the any corection of my text (PM).
Novice in English.

I agree with Ariana.