Ok i was going out with this girl for 1year and 3months. She is literally like the female version of me! Im seriously in love with her... how ever i said so pretty messed up things to her. I told her i was falling out of love with her because i was no longer attracted to her...but i just needed more time to realize i was lying to myself....
I told her she looks better with makeup an she will never let me live that down...finally i told er she was getting fat. Truth be told she was gaining a slight amount of weight...long story short she is now addicted to the gym like i am. The last couple of months of are relationship were pretty bad we would always fight...she would cry an i wouldnt even care because she did it so much...an i also never talked to her about my emotions other then that i loved her...an she was upset by that. I never wanted to look weak in front of her.

Im very angry with myself for telling her that...we ended up breaking up because i was supposed to move in with her but i didnt have a job so i suggested i stay with her in the meantime then she jumped to me trying to mooch off her. This started a huge fight an led me to telling her to fuck off if she is going to be that way.....But we Never know what we have till we lose it sadly....the grass always looks greener on the other side

Any way we have been split up for 5months now and i tried dating other girls an she tried dating other guys but other women don't satisfy me only she does. We recently started talking alot more on the phone an she moved out of state for college...

Im flying down there to see her an she keeps saying she knows were not right for each other in her gut because the last couple months all we did was fight....but we also never had time apart we were always together an i think thats what did it.........

What can i say or do to make her get back with me its obvious we both still have feeling for each other but she just wants to be friends. Then turned around an said she is worried about us hooking up ....we will be sleeping in the same bed for my stay down there.

I don't know what made you say all those things to the woman you love, but don't do that in the future. Be happy with the way she is, or go find someone else.

Anyways, your point being you want her back? I suggest you work on yourself before you take that step. You got some huge inner game issues. You gotta learn to open up to her (especially if you're in a goddamn relationship with her). You need to trust her and you need to work on your insecurities.

Thereafter, swallow your pride and have a serious talk with her, meaning - apologize if necessary. You did say some stupid shit to her, we can both agree on that (hopefully).

Just see how it goes after that. You should be fine if you don't let your pride stand in the way of showing vulnerability to her and admitting when you've done something wrong.

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Journal/Blog: journal-little-panda-vt135329.html

Yes i most certainly did say some really stupid shit to her. Yes i want her back...but how do I get her to get past that all we did was fight for the last couple months..and want to take me back?? Idk what to tell her the whole time im down there im not even going to talk about us get back together but if she brings it up of course we will talk about it....im just going to concentrate on making her have alot of fun an be relaxed an have a good time!

if i were her, i would need to know that the reasons for why we fought, had been recognised and fixed.

if they havent, then you just going to go back to the fighting again once you got past the honeymoon period cos the underlying problem is still there...i guess maybe that is what panda says about working on yourself, really think deep about what caused you to say those hurtful things, is it cos you were out of work and so not feeling too good about yourself?? if that hasnt been fixed, and you dont have a job yet, then at least recognise that when you are stressed you take out the anger you are feeling about your situation on other people, putting them down to make yourself feel better? perhaps you fought about money or maybe you were scared that she would leave you for someone better so you pulled her down, like about her weight, to ruin her self-esteem?

hey i dont know....sometimes we even start fights with people and sabotage our own relationships to prove to ourselves that they love us cos they stay even when we are shitty to them?? or cos we like the making up bit afterwards when they tell us they love us?? am only guessing, but have a real honest think to yourself about why and when you have acknowleged it, tell her and what you will practically do to change that behaviour.

Only then might she be re-assured and be able to 'get past' it and then you can paint a brighter future to look forward to

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James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

wow ariana you could really be on to something....although i know for a fact i take out my anger on other people.

You could also be right about me afraid of her leaving me for someone else...so i brought down her self esteem.