Can someone make a list for me, or just mention some important things, the difference between PUA vs relationships. I already messed up a relationship with a damn HB9!!.. because I was being C&F well after we started being bf and gf. I feel like I now know what to do and what not to do in a relationship, but I'd like to see it in text so I know 100% that I can/can't do this when I'm PUA'ing/In a relationship.

Thanks.

Yeah,

PUA = stuff you do to create attraction and catch the girl.

Relationship = real life


Compare it to fishing. You hook a fish and pull it out of the water... But if you wanna keep it, you gonna need to put it into an aquarium and feed it and clean and stuff.

Basically, when you have a relationship, forget about the PUA stuff and be a human being.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Well put.

Not really. I'd say 50% of the stuff you learn from learning about PUA can be used in relationships and the other 50% you have to find out what works between you and the other girl

For example. A lot of the posts you'll see on here is that after 6-8 months the girl lost the spark because the guy became "too wussy". I.E Needy, Jealous, not being cocky funny.
OP, I've been in a relationship for 1.5 years, I have not stopped being cocky funny... there is a difference between cocky funny and being an asshole.

Not true at all. You just don't go over board with it.

Nope, Hobbit is completely right! I couldnt have said it better myself!

I guess that is an opinion that changes with experience...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Anyone mind sharing an example of good relationship material lol. I'm not gonna use it as a technique to keep a healthy relationship, but I just need to grasp the concept.

off topic ( sorry op ) , but for the replies that said you should lay off the c + f how far into the relationship should you stop ? Should it be asap or gradual .

Im still in the attraction phase moving towards a relationship that i dont want to fxck up and i am naturally cf a hell of a lot of the time making out that the girl needs to meet my standards .

Let me put it this way.

A serious relationship! SERIOUS!!!

If can not just be yourself in a serious relationship, you should not have one.

If you choose a girl who wont tolerate you being sick and hungover and unshaven and stuff like that, dont bother.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

You wanna back your statement up with something? It's pretty easy to say "I couldnt have said it better myself" when the wording was straight to the point... like it's like someone answering "No" and someone else saying "I completely agree with that answer, that is the best answer ever. I could have not said 'No' better myself". It just sounds stupid.

What's wrong with being cocky funny? Nothing. I'm being funny, SHE IS LAUGHING, maybe she says something witty back and we have fun with each other. WE ARE BOTH HAVING FUN. Nothing unhealthy or "relationship ending" about it.

Give me yourside of the arguement and maybe I'll be inclined to changed my opinion.


Oh, and if I'm naturally a cocky funny person and that is my personality, why would I CHANGE just because I am in a relationship?

Cheers Ezo for replying

and yeah i was about to ask something like this

but better worded . If Im naturally cf then should i change it because being myself is being some guy that can bust a girls balls in a cf way making her laugh and hit me all the time.

Ok, I give it a go...

A relationship is based on trust and honesty. Normally people here bash that because they wanna fit into the PUA stereotype or what they think is the PUA stereotype, a wannabe alpha male uttering random macho BS.

If you are a naturally cocky funny person, then do that. If it is truly your sense of humor then by all means, do it.

But if you are not... And I would guess that most people here arent naturally cocky funny or alpha or anything of that caliber, at least not when they start out.

So, the cocky funny part is most likely an act. Especially since the OP asked for advice on how to behave in a relationship, he was looking for rules. He was basically running routines. A girl will get tired of the tough guy act pretty quickly. Unless you ARE a tough guy.
If you are in a relationship, the girl will find out rather soon if you arent being yourself. That kind of shit can be acted for a short while but when she gets to know you she will know. Unless you keep your distance and then she will think that you are scared of intimacy and leave because of that.

Im not bashing cocky funny in general, just the way it would work for the OP. Playful banter can be fun but you cannot ONLY do that. And you cannot ALWAYS keep up that image. You need to show weakness, you need to share emotions, you need to connect. That is not gonna happen if you are always CF.

The way people here use CF (for the most part) is some kind of lame way of hiding their own insecurities behind a wall of cool dude ness.

Why would you need to be cocky around your GF? She is the one that is supposed to be your closest friend as well as your partner.

Yeah, a lot of people will call this unPUA like but please people spare me that macho mumbo jumbo. Playing all tough and masculine doesnt impress much. Sure it is a step up from being a weak and girly nerd but it is far below being strong for real. A real man doesnt have to show himself as the strong macho guy, he doesnt need to impress, he doesnt need to be tough.

A real man is able to have a serious relationship where emotions are involved, he is able to tell love from playing the game.

Yes, there are certain girls out there that is worth giving up PUA for. Yes, we are allowed to be cute, cuddly and emotional, that doesnt make us less of a man. However, hiding from that, does.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Cheers Ezo , understood that loud and clear +1

Great points Ezo. I can agree that if you are using Cocky Funny as a routine type of thing, then you probably shouldn't transfer it into a relationship because it's not going to work.

I don't need to be cocky with my girlfriend, and I don't use it to hide any of my emotions. I cuddle and do all that stuff while being cocky funny(not at the same time obviously) and my girlfriend loves it. Like I said in my post to Hobbit, just don't go overboard with it.

Being cocky all the time is not going to work at all.

But just saying Cocky funny does not belong in a relationship is worng. Many people view this thread not just the OP. Giving the OP "specific rules"(Kinda, but not really rules) while saying it like it does not belong in ANY relationship is not the correct way to go about it.

@zappo, you should not change, but don't use it to hide anything and I'm sure you don't do cocky funny 24/7 right, so no need to change.

Hmm... I'm also naturally a C&F type of person. Not only with girls, but with my guy friends. I think it just needs to be used moderately. Women are sensitive creatures, I think once in a relationship, you need to be more open and more romantic. But in public places, where you don't have that 1 on 1 connection, I feel it's fine to be C&F. Now that I think of it, I remember reading somewhere that some random chick said something like.

"I want my man to be all tough and cocky in front of other friends. But I want him to be sweet and show his emotional side when we're alone"... I dunno the exact words, but it was something very similar to that.