My fiance and I both live back with our parents to save money so we can get married.

Ever since she moved back with her parents at the start of this month, she has been really depressed and very stressed. The first couple of days we had sex at my parents house, but it has been almost 2 weeks since the last time we did it.

Things used to be up and down in our sex life for a while, but after working hard we managed to do it on average about 8 times per month this year. I was totally cool with that.

Now that she is back at her parents house, everything has changed. She feels it is wrong to have sex at our parents house. Tonight she undressed for me down to only her panties and started making out with me. She is really turned on and says "Baby, we shouldn't do this anymore". I said " Babe, you are right, this is totally wrong". In a playful tone. She says "Why do you say it like that"? I said "Because you're right", then left it at that. I didn't know exactly how to respond, but I knew that I shouldn't say anything that would lead her to believe I was mad we aren't having sex.

I don't know if this is some sort of LMR she is giving me or if she genuinely doesn't want to have sex anymore?

I would like to believe it is LMR since 1) We have had sex at my parents house 2) She was hot and horny on me tonight.

What is the right way to handle a situation like this? I mean we have had a great sex life for most of this year so far, but now she is pulling this shit.

thanks

The fact that you don't know how to handle this very basic dilemma with your fiance speaks volumes about whether you should be marrying her or not, but I'll leave that subject alone since it's not the question you asked.

Your response was correct, but your tone was wrong. "You're right, it's so wrong," shouldn't be said in a playful tone, it should be said in a tone that conveys 1) sexuality and 2) an intent to do whatever it is you are calling wrong.

Your girlfriend wanted you to tell her it was wrong, dirty, naughty, whatever, and then fuck her anyway.

Your boy,
870

PS, you seriously think you are having LMR issues with a girl you've been dating and plan to marry? I think you need to re-examine the definition of LMR.

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"Your girlfriend wanted you to tell her it was wrong, dirty, naughty, whatever, and then fuck her anyway."

I continued to escalate after she told me this. She continued her resistance. It pisses me off that we have had a decent sex life for quit a while, but now she is saying shit like we should wait until we are married or we can't disrespect our parents by doing it in their houses, etc..

Maybe it was not so much LMR as it was more of a shit test. Moving back with her parents has caused her to be even more emotional than usual. I don't want to let her know my frusturations in not having sex, since she said her last boyfriend wouldn't talk to her for a week if they didn't have sex.

I find it a tight line to walk. I love my girl and I want us to have a fulfilling sex life. I was just curious to know what you guys thought would be best to handle a situation like this.

Thanks

Hey man. ^^ as was mentioned above, ya definitely want to recheck your definition of LMR. LMR happens the first time you fuck a new girl, not the millionth time you fuck your fiance.

Also, I think you guys seriously need to have a cbit of a check up with your relationship from a counsellor, therapist etc, because sounds as if things are not the best possible:

- only fucking a max of 8 times per month? that is twice a week, some scary shit.

Do you guys have any medical issues, or religious beliefs or so on and so forth that would limit your sexual activity?

Normally if im in a relationship I would be fucking 1-2 times a day....say 40 times a month? I thinkk that anything over perhaps 20 times a month would be healthy...

A great sex life leads to a stronger emotional bond and more stability in a relationship - less arguing, less tension, less stress. If you fiance is stressing heaps, probably the bbest thing for both of you is to get this on track.

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You menationed also that you didnt want to talk to her about this, as her last bf wouldnt talk to her either......wait WHAT?

He didnt talk.....so you would like to do basically the same thing? Fuck that, the first step to a really fulfilling sex life is humility, and communication. You have to explain to yoru fiancee very non confrontationally and matter-of-factly, that you have certain needs as a man, and one of those is for sex.

She may not always feel like it, because she is restricted (possible bad experiences in the past or some other emotional issue) but she will do it out of obedience and devotion to you, wanting to please you. Then as you continue to fuck her well, she will enjoy it more and more! Leading to more fucking of course....

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Take your Ops.

yea bro sounds like a shit test i had a ex tell me she didnt want to fuck anymore cuzz we were doing it 4times a day i said ok thinking she was kidding but couple days later i found out she was fucking with other guys not saying she is also cheating on you but just be a man and talk about sex

Thank you for your replies

It is totally frusturating going through this drought. I thought for sure we would have had sex this past weekend, since we had plenty of alone time. Didn't happen at all. We made out a couple of times, but nothing past that. I tried to escalte in bed last night, but she started saying shit like "babe that tickles" or "not right now". I shrugged it off and didn't let her know my frusturation.

"yea bro sounds like a shit test i had a ex tell me she didnt want to fuck anymore cuzz we were doing it 4times a day i said ok thinking she was kidding but couple days later i found out she was fucking with other guys not saying she is also cheating on you but just be a man and talk about sex"

I totally think this is some sort of shit test too. I would hope my girl is not fucking any other guys. (I am 99.9% sure) I just don't understand what her motive is for giving a sort of shit test if we have had a somewhat regular sex life. I have proven to her that I am going to stick around after sex and not get angry with her for not doing it on a given night.

How should I bring this up to her in a non-afc way? I am fairly certain she will have some sort of response along the lines of "I don't want to disrespect our parents" or "what if someone comes in" or "we should wait until we are married", or "you had sex with your ex-girlfriend in here", etc...

"One thing I don't understand.. why did she get undressed and got you horny if she was not willing to have sex?"

She did this while she was changing out of her clothes. She got on top of me on the bed and started making out with me.

"I think you are too good with her and you care too much about her emotions and not about yours.
Be a little bit selfish."

That is a very good point. How do you suggest doing that? I don't want her to have all the power in the relationship. Yet she is the one who ultimately determines if we have sex or not. She isn't having second thoughts about marriage, just not wanting to have sex. Should I be more selfish in other areas to balance things out?...like having her pay for meals, driving, giving me massages.

thanks again

Hmmm... I have an idea but I don't know if it could work 100%. Perhaps the guys here can help more or better...

My idea is to tell her that you agree with what she says and you are happy about it. And to treat her like a sister afterwards. Act also as nothing important happened and seem uninterested if she gets undressed in front of you.
No bad attitude. No complaining. No negotiating. A simple ok and a big smile and lack of sexual interest afterwards.

What do you think guys?

( Is this called freeze out? Am I right? )

TY for your help

"My idea is to tell her that you agree with what she says and you are happy about it."

If we don't have sex soon, this seems like my best option!

Tonight something totally unexpected happened. She asked me if I am happy with our relationship. I said overall I am satisfied. Then she said that she isn't completely happy. I told her that I am happy but I miss us making love. She said that she missed it too. She explained how she felt like something was missing. I agreed with her statement. I told her how when we are intimate, we are closer emotionally and that our bodies are designed to express love to one another in the act of sex. She agreed with me. I told her it is important to set aside time for us to be itimate. She said we will have to take advantage of more alone opportunities we have.

This really threw me off since several days ago, she thought it was a bad idea to have sex. No offence to anyone, but women can be really confusing. lol (but so can men)

Now that having sex has been brought up, how should I proceed where I don't make her feel pressured? I want us to have sex, but I don't want her to think I want it more than her. If I escalate and she denies, how should I handle that situation?

Thanks

It's time to make two very important points:

1) Playing games is not the same thing as having game.

and

2) You are in a relationship with this girl! You are planning on MARRYING her! Are you going to hop on MPUAForum from your honeymoon suite in Hawaii to ask how you should seduce your wife the first night you're married? One of the pillars of a solid relationship is 100% honest and open communication. Quit asking us for psuedo-psychological tricks to manipulate her into sleeping with you and TALK TO HER about your needs and wants.

Relationships are a whole different demon entirely from traditional "pickup," or the dating phase of human courtship. They require an ever-increasing level of investment, which sometimes means doing things that conventional wisdom has deemed "AFC" or needy.

The trick is, it's only needy if you need it.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

@checkfigure1

You have THREE WARNING SINGS:

1)She said she isn't happy with the relationship
2) She said the relationship is missing "something" ( is she breaking up? )
3) She is not having sex with you

Listen to them.

Lack of sex is not your problem.

"Quit asking us for psuedo-psychological tricks to manipulate her into sleeping with you and TALK TO HER about your needs and wants."

That is NOT my intent to try to manipulate her into having sex. Before she moved back in with her parents, our sex life was perfectly fulfilling. Since she moved back to her parents, sex has almost been non-existant. I am simply trying to get things back to the way they were before she moved with her parents. I am not demanding her that we have sex. In fact she is very happy that I don't pressure her to do it. I apologize if my tone came across as if I was trying to manipulate her, but that is not the case. I'm just a little frusturated in not having it.

When my fiance said she is not happy with some parts of the relationship, she was referring to her decision to not want to have sex. Other than that our relationship is overall pretty decent.

My girl definetly has some inner issues that cause problems from time to time. I want to do my best to help her get through these and not give up on her.

I really hope that you are right.

Thank you all for your help

Yesterday afternoon, she wanted really badly to have sex. I didn't give it to her right away. It drove her nuts and after about 10 minutes we made love

Off the wall... But possibly accurate..

You said your sex life was improving/satisfying before you moved back in to patents house... Is there any possibility she suffered sexual abuse in that house when she was younger... Sorry if this is to personal but from a psychologist standpoint that was the first thing that came to mind... If so she may need some time admitting out to you....