GF wants me for herself



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 Post subject: GF wants me for herself
PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:52 am 
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So I've been living with my girlfriend of a year for 3 months now, and she's getting more jealous by the day.

I've always tried convincing her to keep seeing her friends but she's kind of reluctant to do so. She sees them once a month or so, and I try to see my friends at least once a week.

When I'm gone she's at home and always texting me that she misses me. To be honest I miss her too, even when I'm just gone for a couple of hours but it bothers me a little bit.

This week I went to watch football at my mates, and another mate texted me if we could hang out with the guys saturday night. I am going but my girlfriend said "If you really miss me that much while you're gone, why would you go out again saturday?"

I really do miss her, but I also miss my mates and I told her. She says she thinks things have changed between us because I see my friends more often that 2 months ago. 10 minutes later she's all apologetic saying she doesnt want to keep me away from my friends but I know it's bothering her.

What do man?

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:59 am 
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Make her dinner and tell her exactly what you told us.

Riqueza.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:11 am 
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I have made all these points clear with her already.

I told her to see friends more often - that it would be healthy for her and our relationship. She tells me "but I'd much rather be with you".

She always apologizes when she says things that make her seem jealous, but I know it's bothering her. I told her how much I like being with her and spending time with her at home but that I also want to keep seeing my friends because they already feel left out and I feel like I leave them out sometimes also. Shit just keeps surfacing all the time, indicating that she didn't really mean her apology.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 2:12 am 
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Give her some Eckhart Tolle - Power of Now love. That worked wonders for me regarding AFC traits.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:42 pm 
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why dont you just try to appriciate all that love that she is giving you.. trust me, many guys would wish they were in your place.. I know that when a GF overdoes these things, we take them for granted.. but dont take them for granted.. you have obviously struck her mind and heart..

And i dont think its totally jelousy, i mean txting i miss you and dont go out stay with me is one thing.. But if she checks your phone, worried that you are seeing girl ect is another thing... Perhaps you dont take her out much try that,, even with the guys.. perhaps you can take her out with your friends and their GFs.. ofc you need time alone with your friends, but talk to her about it.. MAke her dinner, spoil her very much, and talk about this issue.. you need to talk with her about it, not us.. You are in a relationship and live together, you gotta start become more open and close and talk about everything together..


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:21 pm 
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do you?, i mean do you see your mates more now you have moved in with her, than before?? if you do, i can kind of understand how you have not managed her expectations too well, no wonder the girl is confused, she was probably looking forward to you two spending lots of romantic nights in and now all you want her for is to cook and pick up yr socks lol

seriously its healthy for you to see your mates once a week and also for her to do the same thing
i think you could try to get to the bottom of why she doesnt see her mates so much; does she not have many friends? perhaps she is jealous you have more mates than she does?
sometimes its harder for girls, some of our mates have babies/kids and its trickier when some of us have to get babysitters and things, to make arrangements
also sometimes for girls its harder to go out than for guys, cos you guys just go down the pub, its usually tricker for us to make last minute plans like you all seem to do

its also healthy for your relationship to make sure your gf feels special and that you want to be with her, that is more than just texting it, but actually doing it

my first question is do you make your plans to see your mates at the very last minute, or do you give her lots of notice that you won't be in on saturday night...
if you can give her more notice of your plans, then she can make arrangements to see her friends on the same night

also if you and your mates are going out on saturday night, perhaps you and she could do something really special the previous day ie on friday night, that way she feels like she comes first and she has had your undivided attention - jsut cos you see each other every day now, you and she still need to have dates like you used to before you moved in together

one last thought...about her parents behaved, did they go out separately, or always do things together? she may have had some unconscious expectations of how 'couples' behave? and when you dont conform to this, when she clearly is doing, it is confusing to her and makes her feel unwanted? when girls were let down by their fathers at some point, this can get tranferred to how they behave with their bf's when they grow up....just a thought...might be way off mark here...

anyway, its always good to talk....and listen...and listen...

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