As I posted a little while ago, I recently got out of an LTR. At first I was very AFC, trying to get back with her immediately, thinking I couldn't live without her. etc. Made a LOT of mistakes. Lately I've regained my frame, started having a good time and enjoying my hobbies, my job, new girls, etc,etc.

I still talk to the ex once in a while, and try and keep it light (although she's always on the "I miss you, I feel like even if I felt like I wanted you back you wouldn't want me, blah blah." trip. Try to head that off where I can). We also have some mutual friends who hang out with her more than me, though I see them once in a while. Generally they'll try and talk about her and I'll change the subject without being too obvious, but I was hanging out with one of her best GFs the other day and she said something that really surprised me.

She told me that my ex was really starting to question the attractiveness of the orbiter she's been semi-dating since we broke up. While still recovering from AFC mode, I knew she was starting to get closer to one of her orbiters, but I thought it was one of the alpha dudes she worked with, not their roommate, who while a nice guy is decidedly unblessed in the physical department. When I found out who it was I said something like "I can't believe you're hooking up with ugly-faced guy." While getting out of AFC mode I referred to him a few more times as "ugly-faced guy" and even in one conversation we'd had since I'd become more happy with single life (she told me she was obsessing a little over the other girls I'd been seeing since the breakup. "What makes them better than me?" she asked me. "Don't look at it like that," I replied, "If I sat around wondering that about ugly-faced guy I'd go crazy.").

So apparently she mentioned this to her friends, and said something like "It's not like Niko's so much hotter than him anyway." Supposedly her friends kind of looked at each other and there was an awkward silence before they said something like "Oh yeah, they're both cute..." Ever since then she's apparently been less willing to do anything physical with the guy, and has been telling people "Niko looked really good when I saw him blah blah blah."

Now this doesn't all come from the one comment. I've been going out with pretty attractive girls, and I've been training for a physical competition and have gotten in pretty good shape (the one time we've hung out, my ex tried to jump me when I took my shirt off for a minute). So there's obviously the additional influence of me actually looking better than I used to and the social proof of the hot girls I'm out with.

But I really think it planted some kind of seed that grew in her mind. First of all, I have pretty good taste in women and men (I'm straight, but I have a good sense for whose a good looking dude and my friends are generally attractive guys). So she does respect my opinion when it comes to these things. (I think an additional comment I made when I found out - "I thought you'd be hooking up with ALPHACOWORKER1, not ugly-faced kid" - kind of made her think.) Second of all, it is important to her that her social circle values the men she dates pretty highly (part of the reason we broke up was they saw what an AFC I was being even if they thought I was cute). By making that one stupid AFC comment I actually ended up sort of providing some strong social proof in the end.

Now this is obviously not a strategy I'm recommending to anyone. My being better-looking than this guy didn't stop her from breaking up with me, and we all know looks only get you so far anyway. Putting down other guys physically virtually never seems to work as well as something like "yeah he seems like a nice enough guy..." Also, as I don't want this girl back as an LTR the only thing I'm really getting out of this is an ego-boost. Still, I thought the way the whole thing played out was pretty surprising.

Thoughts?