I have been on and off with a girl for four years now. Im moving town soon and it's put a strain on things. She actually broke up with me about 9 months ago. I did no contact for 6 months then started sleeping with her again.

Anyway, i know what im doing, and im pretty sure i know the answer here but wanted some help carrying it out.
Have just noticed that we havent seen each other for a month.
The last few weeks she has started not texting back, waiting a day or so to text, then carrying on as completely normal, which has driven me crazy.
I then in turn ignored her. She texted me 3 days later saying to let her know if i wanted to meet up. So when i pull back as well, it works just the same.

Then as i start texting more reguarly, she pulls back again. Its almost perfect lol, i couldnt have done it better myself, and its getting to me so much. Its such a tightrope.

She text me monday asking when i wanted to meet up. I text her on and off over the next few days. We spoke on the phone thursday. No contact from either of us. Text her tonight to see where she going out as im out as well, no reply.

We had originally arranged to meet tomorrow but i have a feeling she is going to flake.
I cant work out if she is trying to gradually get over me by staying out of reach, or has spoken to someone in the know who has given her solid adive on how to play a guy.

I have a feeling she will text me tomorrow. When she does shall i

A ) Not text her again until she texts me, even if it takes months ( this sounds harsh, but it always works

b) Try and be mature and say i want to talk about stuff like adults as its a bit silly.
( As much as this sounds like the right thing to do, i dont think it is. The Frame she is in, she will say its in my head, knowing very well whats shes doing, and probably keep on doing it )

I know a is the way that works, but its like i cant be bothered, its such a game. But the problem with women is that they dont work on logic. Me sitting down telling her we should do this, do that, will most likely push her away.

Relationships, i was happier with multiple women, jeez!!!

if you want to make plans try calling, you cant not reply.

Doesnt sound like a good relationship to me. I couldnt be arsed with that bullshit if i had a GF

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I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

Find somebody else, dude. She probably is. Don't be the "carry-out penis" she gets everytime she doesn't have somebody else to give it to her. I'll never understand why guys will allow themselves to be used like that. Yeah we want sex, we want it a lot, but at what expense? Your manhood? Don't be somebody's tool. I can't stand to read these posts and see people being strung along like this. Take it as a learning experience and let this girl go, if she really wants you, she will make it obvious. And if she isn't playing games, that just means she's probably fucking somebody else. You want those sloppy seconds? You want to be 2nd best aka first loser?

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The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

I hate issues and im pretty good and walking away but its been four years here and sometimes there are things in womens heads that you have to work out. You cant just walk away every time u have a hard time.

I text her saying i understand why shes pissed off but we need, for each others sakes to meet up and work out what we are going to do.

She hasnt replied so im going to have to sit tight i guess.

> "there are things in womens heads that you have to work out."


There are things in womens heads that you will NEVER work out.
Waste of time.

Well - Sometimes I do technique which may be shortly presented as "go opposite".
I think about woman, go to conclusions, then behave opposite way.
That brings results not worse (if not better) than doing by the books.
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I really worry about the frames of minds of people on here.
Yes, moving on is the right thing to do, once you have talked things over with someone.
If you have been with someone for 4 years and they suddenly start behaving differently it could be a number of things. It could be something you have done, something their family has done.
It does not always equate to them playing / having one up on you , and if you do care about people, which you are all supposed to do, then you should leave things happy that you both know whats going on.

There is nothing wrong with having feelings, or wanting to sort someting out, as long as you keep your dignity in tact.

Of course it is, its human nature. And the problem with relationships is that you only get worked up when it goes wrong and at that point make rash decisions.

I've sat cool here and left it to her, when she wants to talk she'll talk. I'm not ready to get into a relationship as it isn't going to work for us, but i would have rather we both sorted that out together.

It shows you the power of ignoring someone, its the most powerful thing you can do

You havent' convinced her to come out with your personality yet.

She's sorta interested, but not enough to come out.

Think about it, if you were like, Fabio or something, she'd be making heaps of effort to spend time with you.

Talk on the phone, build comfort, stop talking about coming out like it's something you wish you could do with her. Just be attractive. Make her want to come out. Dont' set up a time, just have a fun phone call.

Hobbit is saying just because you wasted 4 years of your life on this, you don't have to waste the rest of your life trying to get a return on your investment. You can call it a loss, it doesn't make you a failure and it'll make you more of a man. It's just funny that after FOUR YEARS you are in a position most of us run into in the first month. That's piss poor progress no matter how you slice it. I super sympathize because I suck at relationships and get into the same kind of situations. The bottom line is always: if she likes you, she'll make the time.

Instead of texting her, you should CALL. This isn't a conversation people have over text. Let her have it, get it off your chest and move on. Also, you don't game your girlfriend. Game is for pickup. Your relationship is a failure and it might be because you never stopped gaming her.

So true - the game is for pick ups and opening what may some day become an honest relationship. If you are gaming your gf, she is not your gf!! A healthy relationship is one that exists between 2 equals - both of you are confident in your feelings for each other because you are honest with each other and with with yourselves.

If you are running routines or push-pulling your gf - she is not your gf! She's a very difficult lay!!

At the same time, the laws of attraction don't just go out the window.

True enough. Attraction has to exist in a relationship whether it's been going on for a day or a decade!

It's just that, in a relationship, you can't get away with being the robot Style talked about. In an honest relationship, your hobbies, interests and job aren't just DHV fodder, they have to be actual, interesting pursuits in your life that you genuinely are passionate about.

The rules of attraction really do go out of the window with women, they run on pure emotion.
After the last month of her pulling away i arranged to meet up with her. She cancelled at the last minute. I have never tried to get her when she has pulled and that usually works but i tried it this time and it didnt. After a week no contact i text her and have been trying to get her to meet.

She text me saying she couldnt meet because she was too hurt in the past. This was not an issue a few weeks ago, and the main issue was me leaving towns. It seems like she has invented something to herself, because she does not want to go through with this , to get hurt.

So i text her twice saying that i wanted her to be a part of my decision, and i rung her once. And i have left it.

I am more than happy to leave it where it is.
The thing with relationships though, especially break ups, its all about power.
Because i pursused her over the last few texts she is happy to break it off now.
All i want to do is get the power back, which will probably mean ( if she makes no contact ) saying that i accept things and am moving on.

This may seem trivial but i have been with this person a long time, and when someone has a problem and wont speak to you about it, it does hurt. Much more seo if they told you what it was and you dealt with it.
From what i gather though, thats how women operate. They wont tell you the whoe story.

So any advice on taking control of the break up back?

No, it's totally unimportant. I was just dating a girl with several deep issues. I had a talk with her that she had to put effort in the relationship or I'd leave. She agreed to work on it, next day she dumped me on her own terms. Was I pissed she didn't just let me break up with her the previous day? Yes. But you know what, I'm a man and I can handle not having the power at the end of the relationship. She needed it more than I did. It's just like working your whole life to become rich and you win the lottery and die the next day. That "power" doesn't mean shit in a dead relationship.

I understand you're hurt, but getting the power back isn't going to fix that. What it's really about is that you want to hurt her back. A girl's life is hard enough without a vengeful ex trying to break her down. It's sad when a relationship ends. Accept it, be sad, move on.