How to get back with your Ex



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 2:37 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:35 am
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Website: http://www.getmethegirl.co.uk
Location: UK
Scenario

She always pops up at the wrong time yeh? Just when you think you’ve got over her, there she is again. You’re always going to be close to this girl so its not like you can completely erase her. After all, she gives you this amazing unexplainable feeling when you’re with her.

Even though you have broken up, you’re still in the same social circle. That may be awkward but your going to have to get round that. You can cut the tension with a knife when you’re both in the same room.

This always happens at the beginning of the post-break up phase. And you can’t help but think what it would be like if you two had not broke up. It’s natural.

But then you have to remind your self, is she really worth the effort of chasing again? Sometimes however much fun you have being back on the singles market and playing the girls, you still want her.

The Challenge

Even if you did get back together, would it last again? Because there must be a reason for why you split last time; that will always play in the back of your mind and you’ll end up living in fear of that happening again.

So let’s say you decide you do want to have a go at getting her back. But what will you say? The last time you spoke was more than likely rather awkward…

Still want to make her want you again? Let’s get to work then…

How to Get It

When in your social circle, don’t discuss her to the others, and don’t show off in front of her. It can be easy to start bragging in front of her about how many women you’ve been seeing.

Sure you want her to think “Why have I left this guy” but that’s through pre-selection. You want to feed it to her bit by bit by bringing a female friend along once in a while, saying how you went to this awesome restaurant with ‘a friend’ etc.

And don’t start thinking that she’s the best you can get because that’s when it all goes wrong. You definitely won’t get her again. So keep up the gaming of other women.

The key to getting her back is to not try. What I mean by this is, the worst thing you can do is be the needy clingy ex boyfriend that begs her day and night to come back to him. And even if you think you’re not showing her that you want her back, you will be inexplicitly. Even your presence can be enough.

Make some direction in your life but have her as a plan ‘B’. Don’t spend all your time on getting her back.

The best time to talk to her is when you have something new to talk about. If you’re the exactly same guy she broke up with, then she won’t be into you still.

So initially you will have to steer clear of her to let the change happen (e.g. job change, haircut, friends, hobbies etc). Talk to her as if she was a pal at first. Do the hugs, high fives, and call her ‘mate’ or ‘pal’.






Escalation

Don’t let her think for one second that she could have you back whenever she wanted. Because for as long as she feels that way, you wont get her.

So treat her as you would any friend. Don’t reply to her texts straight away. Take a few hours to do it instead and that way she will naturally be wondering what you are up to.

Then don’t answer her calls, or leave answer messages. Call back much later/next day. You suddenly become the guy she can’t contact.

Whenever your out with your friends always be the one to make the decision of what you’re going to do. Become the dominant one of the group. She won’t be able to help but feel this attraction for you again.

Once you have had the opportunity to talk to her again with a positive, happy conversation, treat her like you did when you first started dating. Keep your distance but show a slight interest.

Talk about the good times and funny moments you shared. When you reach an emotionally high moment and you’re both crying with laughter, leave. Say you have to go but it was cool chatting.

Every time you see her talk about the good times and how funny it was when she (whatever happened) and she looked so stupid.

Never talk about bad things; and definitely don’t talk about the split up. Don’t ask who, what, where, when or why. Just stay off the subject completely. If she brings it up then tell her you don’t want to talk about it, now that’s its all in the past.

The Ideal Date

Go back to places that have sentimental value to you both and reminisce. When you’re in the moment, go for the kiss. I guarantee you, she will go for it. Women run on emotions so when that feeling of love is running through her, do it.

Either that or try doing something that shows a new side to you. Maybe a hobby you have now taken up that is really cool (even though it’s expensive I suggest jet skiing. Works a treat)! Then take her back to places she will be familiar with such as back to yours, hang around in your bedroom for a while and go see the family with her.

How can she turn her back on this? She loved every moment of it after all; and by now she would have forgotten why you even broke up.


Maintaining It

Whatever went wrong last time, change it.

If you acted too needy, then give her some space. Remind yourself that you are the man and you could replace her in a second.

It’s your role to control the relationship; so do it. I will bet any money that if this was your mistake last time, it was why it went wrong.

On the other hand, if you didn’t commit enough to the relationship, try a bit harder. This doesn’t mean become a lick ass but genuinely show her you want to be in this relationship. Let her know that this is what you want.

Apart from that, you know the score. You have already dated before so you know what it takes to make her tick. Continue as if it’s a new relationship with and exciting future.

_________________
Want to learn more? Get plenty more advice from UK based self-improvement company, Get me the Girl, by visiting www.getmethegirl.co.uk


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:09 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:29 pm
Posts: 27
Location: UK
This is great... let me tell you my scenario and let me know your thoughts on how to handle things going forward...

She left after 4 years living together - out the blue unexpected. She graduated from uni and I think was at a cross roads in her life... get serious/marry or jump at freedom once more... she chose freedom.

Amicable breakup... sad, cry, hugs, she couldn't do it, in the end I had to push to get her out - to give her space and save my sanity. Off she went...

NO CONTACT, I vanished off the radar. She emailed about trivial things, I gamed her as I would any new girl... cocky funny un-phased replies. Friends bumped into her she commented on my facebook saying I was very popular with the ladies - their response - well he is a good looking charming guy (thanks guys!).

She has seen through my FB that I have been dating some pretty hot girls & I have had an utterly manic social life & new interests - hiking, snowboarding etc.

After 6 months it was her birthday... sent her a sweet package that included a few things she had left here and some very thoughtful gifts. She text saying she had tears in her eyes & missed me, loved me blah blah? I thought right...

We met for coffee... felt great, I did not feel attracted to her - actually quite numb. Was pleasant, parted ways. Then she started writing on my facebook, emails, texts, photo comments - love you miss you blah.

So I thought right... this is driving me nuts. I tested her a couple times with things like clearly you are missing me so much, when you realise how large a mistake pop by ;o) all cocky funny, but she never rose to it.

Then started the 1am club calls - ahhh this is our song, makes me think of you blah blah. Then she wants to come visit - see our house... that I have renovated since she left. I cant help it... I am exploding inside, I cannot function, I am frustrated & want to know where I stand... so I make the biggest mistake... send the email confessing I had not met anyone as great blah blah - as soppy as you can get.

Response in a very short space of time... sorry no, we had our chance. I just want you in my life - you are the most important person blah blah.

She visits, sees the house, get on like long lost best friends. She goes, we go silent for a few months.

I start seeing super hot model that she met a few weeks before - she gets in touch to comment she was hurt I removed pics of her from my FB & comments on me seeing the model. We had a good chat - laughed about failed dating so far etc.

She is off travelling for 2 months across Asia now. She wants me to visit her when she gets back.

What I need to know is given I sent the soppy email... can it be recovered?

**Moderators feel free to move this to a new topic if you feel I am taking away from this one**

Thanks,

_________________
Follow my exploits on twitter - BatchelorBanter


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 6:18 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 3:40 pm
Posts: 155
yea unless she dumped you for another guy,getting her back isn't impossible(depends ofc)
getting out of that needy frame is the main step.after that mixed behavior + social proof(use story if you can't show her).you game her
also,you may "be friends" and keep escalating when you get the chance(rejections expected 1st times).just don't put value on the interaction


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