Just got off the phone with the misses of 9 months.

We have been fighting about alot little things recently. Obviously the fights would turn large and we would get really annoyed at each other an so on.

She was contemplating a break. I said i dont want a break and told her to reconsider being with me if she was having that much doubts about us. Trying to stand my ground so she doesnt have all the power.

Now shes off to think about it a little.
I love the girl and i dont want to lose her. But i need to stay alpha because our fights were getting to me and she had alot of control where i just sucked it up and gave in to her to get over the fights.

No rules in relationships blabla. Advice is needed please =)

How should i play both ways. Ill get the final answer well after any of you guys have responded. But i wanted to post this up anyways

Cheers!

If you continue to look at your relationships as a struggle for "power," they will all ultimately fail just like this one did.

Since you didn't go into any specifics whatsoever, it's hard to give you any advice other than that.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

First of all it is a really bad sign when a women says "I think we need to take a break" because what she really means is:
"I want to keep you around just in case...but Im gunna go look for somthing better and if I fuck another guy its technically not cheat but...If you fuck another girl I can consider it cheating and you look like the ass hole not me."

"Breaks" are a joke...If she gives you the break speach break up with her and tell her breaks are imature and make sens.

Now I want you to realize that women do not think like men and in order to get them to do what you want you need to understand how they think and how they react...men think more with the logical part of the brain and women with the emotional part of the brain (not making this up its proven). What makes sens to you wont make sens to her ect ect....

Try this. Tell her you are done fighting, tell her you think a break is a good idea and want to break up so that you dont drag things out. tell her you guys had alot of fun! and you dont regret any of it but you need to break up with her so you can re evaluate things...tthen tell her goodbye and leave.

Dont talk to her for atleast a week! unless she comes to you and in that case you can. What will she do? she will prob say "ok" and act like she is fine but the minute you walk out the door she is going to go crazy! her emotions will be all over the place! then she will do one of two things...1# call you and say she wants to talk, 2# if she is a stubborn person she will wait a couple days, or ever a few because she will assume you are afc and will come crying back to her...then she will call you because she will give in.

What do you do when she calls? you dont tell her how much you love her...you be very cautious! if you meet with her you tell her that your only geting back to her if she is serious about making shit work! and you take it slow!


Now let me give you some advice and it is somthing I had to learn when I started dating my gf. relationships are give and take 50/50 and if you expect her to change her ways then you need to change yours as well...next time she comes to you and says "I dont like how you always freak out at me when I tell you somthing" or w.e she tells you...rathe than snaping back and geting defensive listen to her! tell her ok i didnt know I did that but I will work on becoming a better listen ect ect ect....

It sounds like you are both really bad at communicating and compromising? and you both want to have the upper hand in the relationship rather than it being 50/50? communicating and compromising is what will save your relationship bud and she needs to know that just as much as you do....trust me once you start doing this things will get alot better! you both need to just stop fighting and trying to be right and just listen and focus on making each other happy...

Hope I was of some help bro.

Thanks for the help guys.

She called back and told me she was 50/50 about it. She finally said she wanted to be with me still.
Yeah i totally agree with this. I told her parts of this and i think this is a big flaw in our relationship. I believe its a struggle for alot of couples with two strong partners. Each partner always wants to have the upper hand and have the other partner be the one to give in.
This was a big part of our fight. I try to do this all the time because our arguments will just go nowhere if i don't. I hammer her about not doing the same and that she is so stubborn that she just continues arguing.

Anyways, all is good now i guess. She told me she wanted to be with me and assumed everything would be better after she said that. I said it was weird because i had already accepted that she was going to break it off.

I know I'm kinda playing games with her but i cant help it. We talk about our power struggle all the time and how were both stubborn. We talk about all of our problems and try to sort them out and say we wont do this or that anymore. It seems like it has fallen on deaf ears. I know there's a possibility of this blowing over in the wrong direction sometime in the future, but in the meantime i just want to be alright with this one and just enjoy each other.

Cheers for the vent!

Relationships are there for you to make each other happy. If you are no longer happy and you can't find a solution, it is time to break up.

_________________
-Fortune favors the bold-

Did you expect my situation to fail or do you see it going no where?
My problems with the mrs with power is an issue, but im sure its something we can work on. Im also sure were willing to do so

What Hobbit said.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

If you want to stay Alpha, then dump this beotch and find a girl twice as hot, and three times the better girlfriend. Don't get attached to her, you WILL find someone who will make you happier. If she's losing interest then back off for a while. And "holding your ground" wasn't maintaining your power, it actually just made you look worse because it made it seem like you were too insecure to be on a break. If she wants a break, don't talk to her for a couple of weeks.

_________________
My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Hey man. When the relationship is going sour and the woman wants to leave you it sucks. This is what u must do. First; do not break up with her! If u do ur just giving her what she wants, which is to find another guy, and she will if u don't act.
Arrange to meet her somewhere (neutral place is best, ie; coffeshop, etc..) appear confident and unphased (easier said than done). make her laugh/remind her of good feelings she's had for you, etc.. and when the moment is right (you'll know) Say; "you know (insert her name) ur a really cool girl and i have alot of fun with you, but maybe i'm not the right person for you. Maybe you SHOULD breakup with me if thats what your heart is really telling you". This technique works because it will show her you in a very subtle way that you do not NEED her (which you don't, regardless if u feel otherwise right now) and that you have the ability to walk on the relationship if its not working out. This will cause major attraction in her for you and she will be completely caught off gaurd, expecting you to pout and beg (DO NOT!). if she agrees, do not cave, it is temporary and SHE will cave as long as you DO NOT contact her afterwards. NOTHING causes more attraction in a woman more than her thinking you have no problem leaving her. I'm sorry, that just female genetics. DO NOT agree to being just friends. Your above that.
Also, eliminate all supplicating behavior such as giving her ultimatums. Your an ALPHA and you do not care what one woman feels/thinks because you know there are others (there are).
This seems counterintuitive but it works. It might be to late but i hope not. Let us know what happens.

What if that doesn't work? What if she walks out the front door? What do you do now?

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

What if that doesn't work? What if she walks out the front door? What do you do now?

Good question. She might very well walk out. She probably will but this is not what matters. What matters is that you put the responsibility on her to dump you (ie; put u back on the market) as well as showing her you have the ability to live life without her, instead of being "friends" while she uses u to get over the breakup and find another guy. If she walks out the front door then you must let her leave and cut off ALL contact. No email, phone, etc... ALL CONTACT. After some time she will crawl back and suggest getting back together.

Thanks for the reply HighLonesome. How about this? If the girl tells you to fuck off, now what?

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

Thanks for the reply HighLonesome. How about this? If the girl tells you to fuck off, now what?[/quote]


In such a scenerio just replied with " thanks, I wish u goodluck, been nice knowing u", and the next thing u do is walk away, the ball is now in her court and go sarge other women rather than trying to convince her to change her mind.

In such a scenerio just replied with " thanks, I wish u goodluck, been nice knowing u", and the next thing u do is walk away, the ball is now in her court and go sarge other women rather than trying to convince her to change her mind.[/quote]

Let's say this girl is the one you been searching for your entire life, and you know she is the one for you, and that all it takes is for her to see that you are also the one for her. I don't think giving up will allow that to happen.

If I was in such situation, and I was standing close to her, I would hug her gently, and not let go. Then I will try to make a tear drop come out of my eyes, and ask her not to leave me, and how important she is.

Or if she said "fuck off" via a text, or msn, or facebook, that's the only area I don't really know how to deal with this.

_________________
"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

Okay, here is my thoughts based on what little information that was given.

I know that the matter is currently settled. But, if it comes up again this is my opinion based on personal experience with my current girlfriend.

****Do Not End The Relationship because the word "break" is brought up.

If she mentioned she wants to take a break it could be because of several variables:
1) Another guy has temporarily caught her interest
2) You've done something in the past that is still lingering in her mind and she hasn't got past it
3) She needs time to collect her self for misc. reasons. (Remember girls are emotional based creatures.)

Use the word "break" as an opportunity for feedback. Some guys aren't even lucky enough to hear the word "break" mentioned. All they hear is "it's over".

So what do I propose you do if it happens again? First, begin to act a little distant but still caring (don't be a dick). Secondly, tell her you think you guys should take a week break to feel it out and to let you both collect your emotions.

Telling her you want the break is an Alpha move. And, it also shows her that your not afraid to lose her. I know you don't want to lose her , but you can't let her see that.

Also, putting a time frame ensures you won't be kept waiting.

AND FINALLY. Freeze her out for the entire week! Or until she caves in and wants you back. Let her know what her life will be like with out you. And even if she caves in right away, make her wait a bit longer to really feel that pressure and also it makes you look like even more Alpha.

Putting a time-frame of 1 week will ensure you won't be kept around waiting. And, if she doesn't cave in or want you back after that week. You will have done your self a favor in the long-term. Because most likely you both would have been miserable as time went on.

All of this advice comes from personal experience with my current LTR girlfriend. Our relationship has been stronger than ever after that incident. We've been together for 2.5 years now.

P.S. During the 1 week break - Sarge if you can( in another town), make a plenty of fish account, or whatever you prefer. Just try your very best to be talking to many girls as possible. This will take your mind off of waiting around that week and will give you confidence in your abilities to pull girls numbers again.