I want my ex back but dont know how. At first i didnt even want to date her I just wanted to make out with her. Well over time after hanging out with her alot I think I started to develop feelings for her. Weve been broken up for a couple of weeks now and I cant get her out of my head!

Weve known each other since January of this year and at first we were just Friends With Benefits but she wanted more but I didnt. She kept asking me, When are you going to ask me out? She even asked me out once but I said no. I told her I would ask her out soon but I really wasnt planning on it. Then a couple months later she did something that I didnt like so I ignored her for like two weeks and during that time idk why but think I started to develop feelings for her I couldnt get her out of my head. So eventually I asked her out and we became official. Untill Finals kicked in. I didnt have any time for her anymore I was ALWAYS BUSY. I was studying alot and Working on projects, we rarely hung out anymore. Then one day some guy called me from her phone.

He basically just started threatning me and blaming me for things I didnt do, and told me that if I ever hurt her he was going to do all these things to me. Well I didnt like it and I just started yelling at him over the phone I was so pissed. Then I check a txt message that he sent me from her phone and it said, This is (ex name's) boyfriend stop txting her you fag. I replied, Whatever you little bitch. Well He deleted his message and made it look like I was calling my ex a bitch. I straightened things out with my ex but I was pissed cus it seemed like she didnt even care. She just said, Im sorry that happened babe, thats Daniel for you. I think she thought I was Over Reacting about the call and the txt msg.

I know I Over reacted. Well the next day we broke up. She said we need to talk. I knew what was going to happen and I kinda Looked forward to it because I wanted to break up with her cus I was beginnig to develop strong feelings for her and I didnt like it. Throughout the whole thing I acted like I didnt care. When I got there She said

I dont think I can date you anymore. I told her I was Thinking the same thing. She asked me why and I told her because I dont have time for you. She just nodded her head. And she said Im sorry. I gave her a weird look and I was like, Its up to you i dont really care. She said I still want to be friends and I asked her are you sure? And she said yeah. Well its been like three weeks since we broke up and I cant stop thinking about her I really like her. I have time for her now since school is over but I dont know how to get her back. I think that if I try to get her back it might look needy and unattractive.

Look I don't want to hear about one ittis and all that other stuff. I'm not a pick up artist I just want some strategies and suggestions to get her back please and thanks if you've read it all of it I know it was long but I wanted to make it detailed.

I am the king of post break up neediness and clingyness. It is super unnattractive and poisonous. If you have to be needy and clingy, keep it here so she doesn't see it at least. It's pretty fucking shady that her ex had her phone and was calling and texting you and she even sort of defended him. That looks like a red flag to me.

If you want to try to get her back, you're going to have to not look needy, otherwise it's going to make it you versus her and she will instinctively resist even if she still wants you. For best results try, "Hey, I went by (place you guys spent some time at) today" or "I saw (movie you both are really into) on the TV today and thought of you. We should (activity you both enjoy, date she's been nagging you for) now that I'm done with school."

This makes it look like you haven't even had her on your mind, but something external reminded you of her so you decided to text or better yet, call. Hearing your voice will connect to her better. Keep it casual. Mentioning a place or activity you shared will help her remember good times you shared. Setting it up like this also reinforces that you decided to break it off, which reduces your neediness. It also makes it look like you guys were just taking a little breather and you're ready to re-establish your relationship.

You might even throw in "if you're not seeing anyone" at the end so she knows you mean business and you're not trying to be friends. How shitty is it if you guys reconnected and you think it's a good first step then she springs it on you that she's got a new boyfriend? DO NOT settle for being friends until your romantic feelings are GONE, otherwise you will be hurt daily if/when she hooks up with other guys and treats you like a friend. Pretending to be friends is a bad way of trying to get back in there. Keep your expectations low and this is guaranteed to work if she wants it. Just expect that she's moved on so you don't get too disappointed.

Lesson #1 - Always, always, always tell the fucking truth. It's hard to feel sorry for you when you were dishonest about your intentions all throughout this psuedo-relationship and led her to believe you were going to date her when you had no intentions of doing so.

I get the distinct feeling from this post that you don't actually want your ex back at all, you just want to feel "in control" and have lost that feeling since she left you--not to mention you are obviously jealous of whoever she is with now.

Also, that part where you said you acted like you didn't care? You're wrong. Ray Charles could see through that act, and this girl obviously did as well. Thus, your attempts at nonchalance just revealed you for the liar you are.

I think you should work on yourself instead of trying to get back with this girl. You have some very dangerous beliefs and insecurities that will continue to poison your relationships until you fix them.

Your boy,
870

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"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

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Hey Minsok thanks for the reply I was kinda thinking alon the same lines. But Daniel wasn't her ex he was just a friend and they're not dating. 870 thanks for your reply as well. And when you said that I just want to feel in control again I kinda felt shocked because your right I do want to feel in control again I just didn't think of it that way

But I really do want her back not just cus of control but because I really do like her I've never felt like I do for her with any other girl before. I would always stop myself from falling in love with them, and I kinda tryed to do the same with her but in the end it just didn't work out because I honestly fell in love with her. And she's not with anybody she's still single.

I was thinking about hanging out with one of her friends and telling her my situation . I'll make her promise not to tell my ex anything ( I know she'll still tell her) and I'll choose my words carefully so that what she does tell her will spark the relationship back up. Because Im not sure but I kinda think I led my ex to believe that I don't really care about her because

we hung out last weekend, her, her friend, my friend, and I. And during the whole thing I kinda ignored my ex and was more focused on her friend. Like when they came to my house I noticed that her friend had dyed and curled her hair and I was like well don't you look pretty today and I hugged her. Then my ex put on like a shocked look and said, aaaaa don't I look pretty too? And I looked at her and said, yeah you look pretty too and I gave her a hug 2. And after that I kinda just ignored her and talked more with her friend. I wasn't hitting on her friend it's just that me and my ex's friend are really good friends. And I really wasn't planning on ignoring her I just kinda did it unvolentary (I probably spelled th@ word wrong). And then at the end when me and my friend had to leave

I hugged all of her friends and said goodbye to all of them. And I just walked around my ex and didn't say bye or give her a hug because I though she was going to walk me and my friend out, and I planned on saying bye after she did that. I look back and she has this shocked look again and she's like, you just walked past me. And I said. O, well I thought you were going to walk us out. So I returned and said bye and hugged her.

So do u have any suggestions on getting her back knowing about what happened the last time me and my ex hung out?

What I said still applies. If you don't get her one on one and keep hanging out with her friend and treating her like you treat her friend, guess what's gonna happen?

Why not go for her friend instead? That'll give her feelings of jealousy and should you be successful, you get to be with her friend anyway

870, I thought pickup and dishonesty went hand in hand? Is this not the case?

Depends on your pick up method. I never have to put on an act or regurgitate routines. I'm even totally direct. I'd never lie to a girl, if you have to lie or be dishonest to bag a girl, you're going to feel insecure with who you are. "Girls only want me when I'm acting". Creating jealousy seems like a waste of effort. This girl already knows what you have to offer, either she wants another shot or she doesn't, stop acting like it's so fucking complicated.

Game might be insincere because you act disinterested when you aren't and you neg pretty girls, but when you date someone, you drop the game.

Contrary to popular opinion, it is not only possible to be blatantly obvious and forthcoming about what you want from a given interaction, it actually makes things a lot more simple and cuts down on the drama you have to deal with afterwards.

There is a big difference between playing games and having game, the latter of which is really just an unapologetic expression of who you are. Anybody can lie to a girl to get what they want.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

I'm a newbie in relationships and did this mistake.Now "game" in my relationship is a routine(negs,freeze-outs),and you can imagine there is a constant fight for power.Do you have any tips for removing this from the relationship routine ?This is going on for a couple on months i believe...

*sorry for posting here,i cannot create my own topic (need least 20 posts) and i believe it is related to the subject

Wow dude, that's been going on for a couple months? You'll have to just pay attention when you're gaming your girlfriend and GRADUALLY stop. If you stop all at once, you'll look really inconsistent. One of two things will happen if you pull it off. 1) She'll become more comfortable around you and you'll become more intimate or 2) She'll think you were your game and not like you anymore. Either way, she's going to think you changed. Just warm her up to the idea, let her know you don't think there's as much intimacy as there should be and you feel like you've been playing a game and you want to stop so you can get closer/more comfortable.

What do you think is going to happen when you stop your "game" ?

I have come to the belief, through my own experience, that women NEVER stop their game.

I tend to date women that have no game, but look nice and are smart.

As long as you remain confident and don't get to attached you should be fine.

As long as you remain confident and don't get to attached you should be fine.