| 18 Months ago I pretty much disappeared from this board. I was never a particularly avid poster, so I doubt I was missed - but I did always read the valuable information.
I've returned tonight.
...We broke up.
Heartbreaking stuff if I'm honest - alot of what I learned here helped me get her. My first actual long term relationship, and (I don't blame the sniggers here) what I was hoped was the only one. An ideal that can never be true, but alot of us have been there, and alot of us have hoped.
A lover, a best friend, and a truly amazing person.
Things got a bit rough for her recently (I'm not excusing anything), I won't spread the dirt, but things fell apart in her family repeatedly in the worse possible way. It's been tough.
Tonight, 2 weeks after getting back together (we split for like a day after a row, she couldn't deal with it while the grievances in her own family), she told me she was no longer in love with me. She loved me. She couldn't put into words how much I've meant in her life. But she's not in love, anymore.
I'm not going to cry about getting her back, because I'm done - I have to move on, pursue things - dammit, this relationship has sucked alot of my time - I work all day and have alot of other commitments, so I've been busy as hell. It can only be good.
I just have to say it out loud. Because, I am fucking broken. I'm man enough to say I've shed a tear...but I took it well. I asked why, when...but kept it brief. Collected my stuff calmly and left. We hugged, but I didn't linger. I wished her well. Then left.
My initial plan was to just take a massive break from everything. Not contact her at all for a week - maybe a phone call after that week (we are meant to be attending the same party in 7 days) to see how she is - they miss you by that point right? But I'll probably just ditch it for a total avoidance. That's just the afc talking. I won't lie and say I wouldn't want her back...but I have to be strong I guess.
I was even thinking of avoiding Facebook for a week...just to get away from everything. Silence for a while. I like the idea of silence.
But it's the start of new things...I need to rebuild my life, as towards the end, I admit AFC was creeping in. By no means taking over - but the unsureness with everything dragged me back into the anxious man I used to be.
I can blame myself, but that won't help.
And as I try and drag myself out of the emotional gutter - depressed as hell, I just want to say.
I'm looking to the future. I'm back. And I'm ready to change.
Kick start lesson 1, back to basics with inner game eh?
I've finished rambling. Any support, tips would be useful. But I've vented, so that could be enough for me.
Look forward to sharing advice - giving and listening - with you all again. Game = PUA. Start?
Riot. _________________ Using situational openers?
Throwing yourself in?
Able to flow conversationally from every good or bad comment they make?
That's the way its done.
The only game is natural game.
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