I firstly apologies for the length, and spare in specific details, but I feel it's appropriate to get a good background.

I've been in a relationship with this girl for just over 2 months now, and we averagely see each other about twice a week. I broke my own rule and got into the relationship without being sexual with her. She's turning 19 in June, and I'll be turning 21. I've had experience with FB's and playing the field. But this is my first relationship from being in the game for about a year.

At the beginning I noticed she was particularly quite shy and not very sexual I.E. putting her hand on my thigh or wouldn't really kiss for very long would be about it, compared to other girls. I suspected she was either a virgin, or inexperienced. Which really isn't a problem with me at all, if anything it's a good thing more than anything, it essentially just means she's not a slut.

I'm comfortable with my sexuality and I'll happy go for it but I thought it would be best to take things at her pace, rather than rushing into things. We've done alot of fun activities such as a bowling and the likes so it's not be ideal situations, but we have had a fair bit of pillow time, it's not always been totally privacy as in the house alone, but it's been ideal to build up on our comfort and seduction levels with each other. I' had worked it up to fingering her twice, but she still hadn't touched my manhood in return. And at that both times she was very quiet about it vocally and physically even though for certain that I had satisfied her.

Last night I had my place to myself, I didn't want to plan it out too much but I was hoping to further the relationship, not in a way that I was outcome dependant, but whatever happened happened. She came over early, we had a laugh, watched TV and shit. And went upstairs to watch a DVD in bed. (Being in bed together wasn't a new thing or strange, because we've had a fair bit of pillow time watching DVDs). Anyways were snuggled up, watching American Pie 2, which has a lot of sexual scenes, not sure if that was a good choice or not, but it certainly built up sexual tension, more for her than me.

I switch it off as it ends, and start kissing her in periods getting longer each time, while also working my hand to tease and warm her up. As i was fingering her I was a little stuck in my head, wondering how to progress it further, I would normally just go for it, take pants off etc but I wanted to communicate and make sure she was ready. I asked her if she was comfortable' she said yes. I asked her 'You seem a little nervous' she just shuck her head. Soon after I then said 'Id take this further but its all up to you' she didn't really answer, I waited and repeated 'hhmmm' she didn't answer and just kinda lay they. At the time I thought well I'll take that as a No. I just finished her off with my hand, during this she particular just laid they, with her eyes shut, kissing me and breath becoming slightly heavier. As she reached orgasm, she never really made much noise or movement either, just tensed up, tilted her head and that. Previous girls would normally hold onto me, and squeeze tighter, the closer they came, but I realise that were all different.

After it all I realised that I probably shouldn't have asked that as I should be taking the responsibility for it all, and that I probably should have just ploughed through until she said No. But I case I just wanted her to be ready. As we lay their together, I had right boner, so i held her hand and guided it to it, while saying 'Looook what you've went and done now' of course in a playful manner, I put her hand on it (over my shorts), she just kept it there for about a second of two, as she just let her hand full off leaving it like next to it but on the bed. But I'd had given up and that was that for the night.

Today, I felt like I had blow it, wussed out, and gave up a chance. I had her in my bed home alone, had her horny and wet. and i let it go. Oh and during a text conversation today she said 'Oh and i wanted to say sorry for last night anyway I was just pretty tired ' - Whatever that's meant to mine, but she probably feels bad, and probably thinks I' was disappointed because she didn't do anything.

I was just really using last night as an example, but as you can see she probably is inexperienced or a virgin, which as I said doesn't bother me. And what happened last night is done and over with so threes no ifs or buts with that.

I'm just a little frustrated that I've been in a relationship for 2 months and haven't had my penis touched, however, I'd like to progress this and I'm in of some advice of how to go about it. I really could do with some tips on injecting some sexuality into my relationship.

Thanks in Advance!!!

Regards,
DC!

_________________
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost.
--It's all in the STATE OF MIND--

Next time stop talking too much and acting like a dick.

Your finger was already in her pussy, floating in her river of milk and she was enjoying it , next u would have turned her heat up more by kissing her down to her crack and eventually going down on her if u feel so, if she was enjoying it that means she was ready to take your boner in and pop your bowl , all u need to do was to get on top of her and seal the deal, rather than fumbling, wombling, asking for permission to go further or not, guiding her hand to your dick, do u want to have sex or want her to give u a hand job?. she was subtly communicating to u to give your dick to her pussy to do the wrapping around it.
I think u need to bitchslap yourself for getting that close and not stepping into the promise land.

Hope u get it right next time.

Goodluck:

Firstly, I did not ask for advice or feedback on that specific situation. Secondly, Did you actually read my post? Even if I did want advice in regards to that your advice is worthless and essentially shite.

I gave respect, I asked her permission because I was being understanding, I knew she was nervous, and I was not not pressurising her though her first sexual intercourse experience, just because I was horny and it's something she might regret.

I think you'll find that communication is a very key aspect in a 'relationship', and I think you'll also find that if I had pushed it when she wasn't really wanting it, then I could of made things a lot worse, and that would be being a dick. If it was a one night stand then the dynamics are a lot different, and I could of easily just went for it without caring or giving respect.

I realise that she obviously doesn't have a problem with being sexual, 'cos she lets me pleasure her without protesting so it must purely be down to fear of not knowing what to do with a penis' - all I have to do is be direct, tell her It's okay and reassure her.

My question was in relation to tips on injecting some sexuality into my relationship. Such as text messages, topics to talk about, and making her more comfortable with her sexuality and being sexual.

_________________
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost.
--It's all in the STATE OF MIND--

@DifferentCloud - seriously???? You posted here for help. Why did you post all that information if you didn't want it commented on? Most of the time our problem lays in an area we weren't examining, that's why we have trouble solving it. So if you want help, eat a bucket of cement, harden the fuck up, and read.

What he said is right. Blunt and crass maybe, but still correct. Yes you don't force yourself on her, you give her the option, but the way you did it was WRONG.

What you did was set the frame for being timid and asking questions. Not very erotic. And you do not go about things in a roundabout way, by bringing up sexual topics and txt messages. That is the way to being creepy pervy boy. The way of a man is direct.

And what do you mean "take things at her pace"? She doesn't have a "pace"! Has she had her virginity taken before?? What, are you waiting for her to say "When I have my virginity taken, I like to do this first, then be touched, here..." etc.? If you go to piano lessons, do you tell the teacher what scales you want to learn, what chords, what finger positions?? No, you go in, sit down, get taught, and if you're having trouble, the teacher works with you on the trouble area.

Now I'm going to elaborate on the psychology, explain why what was already said was correct. Take it from someone with personal experience.

No matter how introverted or inexperienced she is, all girls are the same in this way. You set the frame for them, they will do anything. When they resist a bit, or you think they are just freezing up and not responding - back right off like you don't give a fuck either way, you're amused and content no matter what. That builds comfort and they are more likely to be curious and explore your lead. If they were actually enjoying it they will come right back to you.

Something I did recently, whenever there was resistance, was keep saying "Hey, it's all your choice" "up to you" etc. in different ways, sometimes accompanied by a little physical freeze out - eg go from caressing her to suddenly giving her a pat on the knee or tummy and folding my arms across her. Sexual feeling drops back, she misses it, and eventually comes back for more if you wait long enough. That all came from the mindset I described though, I didn't plan any of that in advance.

Basically what you're supposed to do is show her how it all works, and if she gets afraid or freezes up, you back off - then she realises she's not doing what she's supposed to do. Worst case she will apologise and you can further things next time. Otherwise she will be a bit more proactive and encourage you to keep doing what you were doing.