The short version of this is that I went out with a girl for 3.5 years. She broke up with me 5 months ago, and I went AFC. 3 months later I told her that I thought I had changed and that we should give it another try. She said that she wasn't in a position to be in a serious relationship, especially one that's long distance.

Now, another 3 months later, I'm visiting NYC for a conference and she asked me if I'd like to have dinner at the place that she used to think of as "our" restaurant.

I've gone out with lots of women in the meantime, and I know that she has been dating as well. I still love her, and would like to be with her more than anything. My life goes on either way though.

I have three questions:

1. Can I get some advice on how to handle our first meeting after 6 months? Should I keep it to just dinner, or try to gauge her interest and invite her out for drinks after/ invite her back to my hotel room to show her something on my computer, etc.?

2. I'll be in NYC for 3 nights. Is it a bad idea to try to get her out with me a second time if the first meeting goes well?

3. Asides from the instant reconnect technique (brushing something off her face, removing lint, etc., are there any other good ways to reignite a spark between two people?

Do somthing for me k? Go and find a mirror, look in it really really close! now slap your self and until you have slaped the afc out of your body lol

Please stop thinking with the logical part of your brain because as soon as you do that you will start to think like an afc chump...start thinking like a woman!

Women are more emotional thinkers and we are more logical...this is not a myth it is true. women think mostly with the emotional part of the brain and men with the logical part of the brain.

To a man it would make sens that if you told her how much you like her, gave her gifts, dinners, ect ect that she would like you right? but why does it always turn out bad? why does it always seem to fail? Il tell you why! BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO STIMULATE HER EMOTIONALLY! think of it like this: Women are lions and men are sheep...you are trying to attract a lion with grass and corn when you should be using a juicey steak! its not your fault because to you the grass looks tasty and it makes sens right? well to a lion its borning and un interesting.

The key to a womens heart is to under stand how women think and how to control there emotions.

Should you go to dinner with her? Yes but no you should not try to get back with her in fact I would not even talk about how much you miss her, or tell her that you want her back...make her tell you how much she misses you ect ect and when she does dont be cold but just dont respond. Even if she says "can we hang out at your hotel" I would say "You know I dont think thats such a good idea...you really hurt me when we broke up and I think its best if we both parted diffrent ways tonight" I would let her know that mabey you could talk about geting back togeather but you have some thinking to do and that she would really need to earn your trust back.

Dont go into the dinner looking to get back with her or you will come off as a foolish afc and have your heart broken. Just go have fun with her, catch up, show her how much fun you are, and show her that you dont need her to make you happy.

p.s start reading up on how women think and how to read and react to their emotions.

Dark, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. You make some great points that I'm going to think about.

To clarify, I in no way shape or form intend to talk about getting back together over dinner unless she brings it up. I won't be buying her presents, etc.

I'm not going into the dinner with the aim of reconnecting, although I won't lie, I am hoping for it. I can't help that.