Today everything started off fine. My girlfriend went to work and I went to college. She called me on her first 15 min. break and we talked briefly. On her next break, she called me and told me some bad news.

She and her roomate friend were going to try a new restaurant about 30 miles away in a different town and I wasn't invited. There is nothing wrong with her doing this with her friend. But I felt offended that she excluded me from coming and her ex boyfriend lives in this town. It just seemed a little out of her character. Her roomate friend happened to be the gateway that led to my girlfriend to meeting this ex boyfriend she had.

When she told me this, I just said "you do what you want to". I wanted to say "Why the hell are you going there and not inviting me?" I knew this would be detrimental, so I didn't say it.

So later that evening I arrived at her house. She was nice to me but really into what her friend was saying. They were talking about this new class they were going to try this week and several other things.

Then we went to bed. She told me she thought I was acting weird today. I just said "really why do you say that"? She just shrugged it off didn't reply. Then she started fondling under my boxers. After about a minute I was getting turned on and she said "I have a hole in my pants too". I started rubbing her pussy. After about 30 seconds I leaned over to kiss her and right away she says "Not tonight, we are not having sex" I said "I just wanted to kiss you". She replied "It seemed like you wanted to have sex" I said " I was a it turns me on when you do that and I wanted to kiss you". While I was saying this, I was pulling back. She said "It seems like you are just using me for sex" I said "of course not". She says "So you can't even rub me anymore?" I said " It turns me on when we do that". She rolled over and then so did I.

It is just weird how one minute everything is fine and then out of the blue she acts weird. What would you guys recommend that I do to recover from this?

Thanks!

Have you tried being honest with her instead of the 'this doesn't bother me because I'm an alpha male' front that you've pulled?
Seems like your ego is fucking with you.

Anyhow, communication is key to a solid relationship. Talk to her.

Also you need to know what do you like in her besidse the sex and her looks. Figure that out and make her feel it. Looks like she is not feeling that right now.

edit: punctuation sucked

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Dude, this is my exact problem right now, I just never looked at it that way. Thanks J, I'm gonna make her see it. The girl I'm seeing sometimes gets the feeling I just want to use her for sex, but I like her other qualities, how hard of a worker she is, how smart she is, and the way she makes me feel when I'm around her.

"Have you tried being honest with her instead of the 'this doesn't bother me because I'm an alpha male' front that you've pulled?"

That is the tricky part. If I tell her that it bothers me that she goes off with her friend, she might percieve me as being needy or clingy. Not telling her that it bothers me is obviously not good either. I just assumed the second option was the lesser of the two evils. Also, when the time comes for me to ditch her to hang with a guy friend, she will know how it feels.

"Seems like your ego is fucking with you."
I totally agree! It was like a sort of blind sided shit test. I didn't know how to properly respond.

"Anyhow, communication is key to a solid relationship. Talk to her."
How do you do this without looking like a pussy?

Thanks!

Well it all comes down to communication skills really. I would ask back, When you talk to your friends, with your father/brothers/mother... do you look like a pussy then? Then talk the same way. I've asked help to my friends many times and none of them feel like i'm a pussy.

That being said. As I hinted at in my previous post. Looks like you are having insecurity problems and that you are not showing (or not knowing) why you love her besides the sex part. One good conversation you might want to have with her is about exactly that. Asking her if she percives you as only wanting her for sex. Could easily start with "You know, I've been thinking about what you said last night about me only being after you for sex. Do you really mean that?" Then it's a natural follow to say that you have a high sex drive but are not with her only for that and that you find it sad that she is thinking that and that maybe you should put more efforts into you showing her that this isn't true. Again. I like to show rather then say. So I often do small things (or bigger) to my gf without any 'I'm going to get sex out of this' thoughts. Just to highlight all the other things you like about her.

Anyhow, I hope this was coherent enough and good luck on your relation. If you start to build 'frustrations' now it will not lead to something nice in the long run.

Cheers!

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

This is destructive behavior and I would not recommend making a habit of doing something to get back at her. Rather than doing it, just talk to her and ask her how she would feel. However, just make sure at the time that you really want to hang out with your friend and you're not ditching her just to make her feel like shit.

What I'd say a problem was here is the "fondling" initiated by her followed by her refusing sex. You should make it clear that if she doesn't want to have sex, then it is not acceptable for her to initiate sexual contact and get you horny if she doesn't intend on taking it any further. No sex means no sexual contact, teasing is neither cool, fair or acceptable.

Tonight my girlfriend tells me that she is upset that we don't have sex as often. She said in the beginning of our relationship she wanted to have sex all the time. I asked her why that is. She said that she has been really stressed out lately. Believe me, she has. She constantly worries about shit all the time.
Here are some situations:

1) Right now her lease is up at the end of the month in the duplex she has with her friend. She wants her and I to get a place together. The only problem is we can't afford it. I am finishing my last semester at university and collecting unemployment pay. She stresses herself out over all these extravagent plans, that we can't afford. Then she bitches at me for not getting a job when I am only able to do part-time work. I try and tell her that the money I get for not working and collecting unemployment, is about the same as what it would be if I worked part-time. She also has the option to move back in with her parents. It is not the most ideal living condtions, but it's tolerable. She gets offended when I even suggest it.

2) She wants to get married and I feel the same way. She keeps stressing herself out over when I am going to propose. How I am going to do it. Why I haven't told many people what my plan is. What I am waiting for. By me waiting, she thinks that I might still want to get back with my ex girlfriend. Or that I don't really love her or want to start a life together. She also wants to get married so we can have children right away.

3) Anothe reason she is stressed is because she accumulated a large debt by spending money foolishly. So instead of trying to live within her means, she goes and gets a hard-ass second job that stresses her out even more. With the second job, she only gets about 3 days off per month. I told her it was a bad idea to do it, but she just wanted it to feel good about herself for beating out 40 other job candidates.

4) Her roomate is her best female friend. I believe their friendship is based on bad values, but they are friends none the less. She is jealous as hell that her friend is going to be moving in with a different chick. She thinks that this other girl will steal her away from her and they wont be friends anymore. My gf's friend btw is short, fat, and ugly. My gf's friend has no other friends, but yet my girlfriend stresses out that she will loose her.

Another thing she said to me tonight is that she never knows when I want to have sex. With her being stressed all the time, it really makes it akward to try and do it. There are times when I try to initiate it, but she is never in the mood. Like the other night I tried to intiatie it, but she got offended when I tried to freeze her out.

All this shit and more has really stressed her out lately. Is there anything you guys would suggest to lighten stress, so she will want sex again?

Thanks, appreciate it!