Long story short i got involved w/ a girl from work, shes 29 i'm 27 she just got out of a 5 year relationship after that she started hanging w/ this guy who she i guess had a crush on then i entered the picture. I guess a few weeks into me and her hanging he ended it w/ her. We progressed great for 3 months hooking up prob 2-3 times a week and having deep convos and such. I leave town for 10 days to NYC get back she rekindled with him (not the 5 yr ex bu tthe other guy). I confronted her and tried to end it 1 mo ago (Note we were never exclusive, I went out on a few other dates and hooked up w/ antoher girl at work all of which she was aware of) she told me him and her not talking anymore. we kept hooking up.

She did the closure talk w/ her long term ex maybe 1.5 weeks ago and after came over to my place. That day I acted pretty AFC told her i really liked her and wanted to date her exclusively. She told me she saw long term potential in dating me but right now was not ready for an exclusive relationship. (I think she still has feelings for that guy she was hooking up with when me and her met or her long term ex i'm not sure which). pretty much ever since then its been kinda slow between us we haven't hooked up just kissing, we've only hung out once, she hasn't called to hang out so i assume shes prob hooking up w/ soemone else as most guys would.

This brings us to last 3 days.

2 days ago i asked her to hang out after work she said we will see and she would call me after. she called me and said she couldn't hang out was tired and was going to bed, my friend who lives in her neighborhood when i told him this told me there was a car in her driveway. I was pissed at her at work and was kinda cold shouldered to her the next day. Shes my upper level on our team and it actually came across to the team that we had a history when we got in a mini disagreement. She got pretty pissed at me for this.

I told her lets talk after work yesterday and I started with we need to just be freinds and i confronted her about the car. She agreed on friends and told me "he just wanted to talk and at the time she talked to me she was going to go to bed" never told me which guy it was i didn't ask.

What pisses me off is I pseudo got AFC during that talk even though i initiated it and told her i still had feelings for her and wanted to just go back to non-commital hooking up which she said not now she was too mad, she would be over it in a few days and didn't think hooking up would ever be a possibility. when I asked her why she said she didn't think it was a good idea bc it affected our worka nd i promised her when we started this would never happen. She said she doubted we would ever hook up again but then again 5 year program is long and you never know what will happen.


So here I am now. I have to see her every day, I do want to be freinds with her and she sincerely said she wanted to develop a freindship. I guess my question is if I want to convert her back to freinds with benefits do you think its possible or even a good idea. shes a pretty horny girl.

What i want: To be hook up buddies consistently, relationship or not although starting to hang out w/ someone else so not sure if i wanna be exclusive SPAM.

any advice how to progress?

Yeah... not with her. Move on, it's too late, trust me. Find someone else to get over her with.

You messed it up by "trying to end it" with her and the other guy - you have to remember it's not a competition - it doesn't matter what's going on with her and another guy, if you ARE more attractive, she WILL go for you. No "words" you use will "convince" her to be more attracted to you.

And you trying to end it with some guy she's seeing, makes you less attractive, end of story. Well then after that you tried to get her back, which just digs you deeper, and you're definitely at the point of no return. THAT'S the end of the story.

The best response in any of those situations is to be the most attractive positive and INDEPENDENT guy you can be.