first off, i've seen this girl a couple times but gettin no further than dry sex.

so the other day, i had the place to myself and she came over, chilled in the hottub, made out a bit then went up stairs. i start by fingering her but after 5/10 mins i ask if she wants to have sex. she says yes. and we do, everything goes great, she has an orgasm and couldn't have enjoyed it more. everything was perfect.

so then 2 days later i get an email from her saying she can't see me anymore because she still loves her ex-boyfriend. just some background info here that is needed. this guy, has said he wished her dead at some point and has made her cry more times than everything else put together. so now i'm just like...well what the hell am i supposed to do now?

any tips on how getting this girl to come back to me would be great.

i'm planning a freeze out for now...but have no clue if it will actually work. will keep this updated and any advice is very welcome. i really like this girl.

-Teen

Since you can't make someone love or not love another person.....give up

She has to be the one to see the error in her choice, otherwise its a dead end.

Just move on and she will probably come running back sooner or later

your on a loser for now mate. best advice back off. so some people they need fate to deal a strike of lighting to make them see reason, that no person can make them see. the more you try and and foruce her away from this guy the more she'll try and prove you any every one wrong. all you can do is back off and walk away and let fate deal what ever hand it has in store for her. and once the whole messy drama playes out and she dose get over him who know it might be worth picking up the phone again to her and re-engageing. but for now turn your attention ells where. and who knows what the future holds.

xXx LC xXx

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A smart man can tell you how the world works; a wise man can tell you why.

break off contact... i had GF's who were in love with their ex - you can't change anything you can only make things worse.
Freeze out, break off contact or break up.......
i can type pages of text what will happen or how she probably feels but it's useless to read so much when the solutions there.

She can't love you when she loves her ex BF... her love for her EX BF is artificial and not real - it's her ego at play her. because her ego is at play here she doesn't give a shit about you.
You can't change that only she can change that, don't be her therapist and don't be her friend because you can't be friends right now.

im 200 % drop dead serious... take a few steps back and break off contact
''she can't see me anymore because she still loves her ex-boyfriend''
for the 21312414th time like other people said ... break off contact .. just vanish out of her life - you can try initiating contact over a month or 2 months.

Don't get info about her ex ... everything about exes is bad there is nothing positive about it.
BREAK OFF CONTACT.. give her the space to think about her and her ex, so she can analyze her own emotions..... like i said her love for her ex is ot real love it's artificial - what she really saying = i need some space .
sorry ... but i think she won't come back.... block all contact

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I think it depends on what you want. If you want an actual LTR with this girl... I don't think it's going to happen at this point. As others have said, she just isnt ready at this point. BUT...

If you really like her and just enjoy her I would tell her that "You respect her wish to be back with her ex, but that you just enjoy hanging out with her and want to still be her friend."

Then start doing things with her and flirt the hell out of her all the time maintaining that you just want to be friends. Remember that girls are emotional beings... just make her feel good. You have to assotiate your time together as exciting, fun, and intoxicatingly good. Ramp up the flirting and kino but maintain that you just want to be friends.

No guarantees that she will be ready for a LTR any time soon but this will keep her in your life and should make her want to keep coming back for more.

I would strongly suggest doing things with other chicks as well and DO NOT allow yourself to focus solely on this girl as nothing good will come from it.

I was toghet with a girl for some days at september, then she told me she was in love with her friend.... first i was compasionate about that... then we had a fight, then i freezed out for a week.. then she got back to me and told me she was done with him and realized how much i'm important for her...

We are still together since that time ..

Freeze out man ..

Well with my GF the boy was not an EX but just a boy who didnt like her in return.. so not sure if it will work as well, but it's worth a try..

Yeah just back off but show her what she's missing.

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my girl friend is very beautiful

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errrr... good for you... any way back on topic...

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A smart man can tell you how the world works; a wise man can tell you why.

that has to be the worst advice ever. break off contact...but show her what she's missing. how exactly do you expect me to do this when your telling me to back off.
if you don't know what your saying, don't say it.

an too everyone else. backing off failed. we're now back together and she's told me she loves me.
all i did was just be a friend...then she came round my place one night unnanounced and confessed how much of a fool she had been. i told her she had been. gave her a kiss and told her i'd call her tomorrow.
problem solved.

-teen

Hey chief calm your self and dont act so high and mighty....you asked for advice and actually the people who said back off a bit and show her what she is missing are right. So what she came back? what your point? mabey she will loose interest again and leave you or make she isthe exception to the rule and you will both fall in love an get married? who knows? but with that attitude the next time you need help most of the people in here will tell you to fuck off.

I dont like too toot my own horn but I am damb good with women and I would have given the same advice as most of the others here...Iv always got the women I want period.

Why am I beiing such a dick to you? because you need somone to put you in your place and you need to realize that just because she came back to you doesnt meen she will stay....the past often tells the future and I can tell you that 9/10 timea girl like the one you are with will either be full of drama or she will screw you over in the end if you dont know how to deal with her...Now I know you might try get angry about what I just posted, and you might try to bash me, but If you are wise you would keep your month closed and be more friendly the next time areound....every one here is here to help you so dont bash them.

P.s you taking her back so fast was a means you failed her first big shit test. If you were as good as you think you would have known that...she now knows you are easy bate and she can have you when ever she wants. She might stick around for a bit but as soon as somthing better comes along she will bail on you.

You want to keep her? make her work her ass off for you and dont let her just walk back into your life. How? make her earn sex dont give it up for a few weeks, let her know you are pissed about what she did and she needs to gain your trust back, make her earn time with you and when she starts acting how you want then reward her.

I feel your pain mate.

Right now, I am feeling rejection from this amazing girl I have been seeing for the past 6 months.
We both broke up with our long-term partners around the same time last year.
Yet she is still feeling rejection from her long-term boyfriend who left her to join the army; she felt abandoned.

Like your case, he treated her like shit, beat her, forced her all that sort of crap because she had a real horrible upbringing - subsequently she tends to escape through alcohol etc. and lets others take advantage of her. She is probably the most disgustingly selfless person I have ever met. I would give anything to change that.

However I love her. I have tried threesomes, spitroasts, sarging, hooking up with my exes, I have tried co-worker fantasies, hell I have even tried another relationship but it just is not working. I am currently in Japan running away from Australia for a month to try and get over her. (Japan has never failed me In the past.)

Once again Japan has been a blast, but I am here now writing this post because I am still stuck on my one-itis

Essentially her ex is coming back after dropping out of the army. He tells her they are getting back together now and she agrees.

She has told me over and over that she could never compare the way she feels with me, to the way she feels with him – this is true, we both feel it. However it is almost like the feeling of rejection from this bloke is a more powerful emotion than her own desire, wants and ambitions.
She felt rejection when he left - so even though she knows she is better off with me, she wants to get back with him. I know exactly how she feels. This feeling of rejection from her is completely getting in the way of my life, work, relationships etc.

She has put the bar at LJBF, however they are together and we still have amazing sex.

Lesson: For people with serious self esteem issues, rejection can be the most powerful emotion felt, stronger than love; because it an issue of love for oneself.

So should we really resort to rejecting them, pushing them away to show them a lesson? Is this really the only answer – it just feels wrong.

Right on mate. Perhaps for longevity I should completely freeze her out. Perhaps once she inevitably feels trapped with this bloke, now she has a comparison to act on.

It is still bloody hard to accept reality, however as Rand put it "A is A, and nothing but."

to all those who moaned at me for moaning at that guy. i did that because his advice failed.
and for those of you that said it was a shit test, you really need to get to know girls better as they don't pull shit tests as often as you think. stop being so by the book guys, game is about the experiences you learn from, not following some rule book