Hi, yesterday I had my first fight with my gf and it went pretty well so I thought I'd share it so others can learn from it. Thing is I rarely have fights with my LTRs and despite this I somehow am quite good at handling them. So here's the story:

I had a pretty important stuff with my friend at 6:30 p.m., it was appointed. He had very little time, but he knew it was important so he managed to spare me a few minutes. We scheduled our washing time with my gf @ 4 p.m. We got the clothes in for a 76 minutes wash program but surprisingly, it didn't stop even after about a 100 minutes. My gf then turned it off and then we were waiting for the door lock to open(usually around 2 minutes) and after 15 minutes it was still closed.

I went down to the porter's lodge and he told us to plug it out. It worked, it opened soon after. Little did we know that the machine was still full of water. The whole place was messed up, and I was about to being late so I left. When I got home I apologized to my gf for leaving her there. After this she was completely silent. She didn't speak a single word to me. I wondered why she was mad, like it was my fault that this happened, but I thought maybe it was some other stuff so I should just leave it.

When we went to sleep she didn't even wish me good night so that was when I had enough and asked her what her problem was. No response, so I turned to her, and said. "Okay that's it. You're not sleeping until you tell me what the hell is wrong" She said: "You left me in a huge pool of water, damn it" I remained calm and explained her that I'm very sorry but my promises have and absolute priority in my life, that's the way I am. I also made her remember that I apologized instantly when I got home, and it was not like I wasn't angry because of this. (She saw it how furious I was, it was my choice to get down to the porter otherwise I'd screw the whole machine up in my rage) I also pointed out that the whole thing was not, in a single way my fault, I just tried to find a solution that was the most correct in means of moral.

She still remained silent for a little while, then started playing with one of her stuffed animals, which made a strange noise. I asked what that sound was and she said it was her. Then I grabbed one of her other "pets" and started being playful. She laughed and then it seemed like the whole angry thing was over. She brought up the topic once more, but she was acting maturely and, strangely for me at first, it seemed like she gave me the right in this argument.

Then it turned out why this was. It was ultimately HER fault that the program didn't end. This was the first time we used this program and we didn't know that before starting it we should have set a thing to tell the machine to centrifuge at the end of it or do some "light ironing"(don't ask what's that, have no idea) Because we missed this the machine just stopped proceeding with the program(what a suckily programmed shit. Couldn't they have just put two programs in it instead of making the user having to mess around further with one?)

Last important thing about this thing is that I did NOT confront her about this. I knew if she'd known this she of course would have set that thing up correctly.


Moral of the story:
1) If you feel you're right, stand up to it!
2) When in a fight, stay calm, and explain your arguments understandably.
3) If there is no longer a valid reason to argue, stop it. And also don't bring up shit that would not help the situation even if you're a little angry, try showing some self-control.

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

That was neat. Thanks for posting this.

There is also another extract from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Part 3

Principal 2
Show respect for the other people's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong".

Principal 3
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principal 4
Begin in a friendly way.

I was talking with my cousin who is a HB9 about game and such and we go onto this interesting topic of fights. She told me that fighting is just a negative way of showing you care.

We discussed this for some time and related it to our relationships.

The positive results we found were...
-fighting can be used as a spark of attraction
-fighting can be an intense way of increasing a woman's emotions(sending her on a roller coaster)
-fighting will be permanently remembered therefore it needs to be controlled
-fighting is a way of getting uncertainty in a relationship if it has become boring
-fighting is a way to show dominance, confidence, masculinity and to be alpha


The result you want in a fight is to show woman that she is the woman and that you are the man, her troubles come from her emotions and yours come from situations, real shit, not from within.

Not too sure about this one but to go caveman may be a good tactic, such as smash some shit establish that your the boss? any thoughts?

Everything you've listed is right. It's quite funny, right when the relationships going downhill and boring, a fight happens and I always win, 2 days later the relationships all sparked up lol but how long can this go for? It gets annoying after a while