Ok guys, I'm quote to post here my conversation with a friend of mine. He's a bit AFC, but this isn't about him and his advice, it's about what I was typing and my analysis of my own situation. This analysis has come from a combination of what I think, and what I've been told over the past couple of days by some great people (Chief, Hobbit, kasabi, Zac Lui, guys the in the Chat Room).

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Me (still):
Friend:
Me:

If you stayed and read all of that, then I thank you. What do you think, this is a free discussion, go nuts.

Prophet

Further analysis :

Friend:
Me:
Oh, and I need help constructing this text just to confirm I'm going tomorrow night. Thinking of basically: "Hey, just to say I'll be coming over for the party tomorrow, because it'd be rude not to after being invited . Have a good evening xx"

Am I way over-reading into my situation or what ?

Bro, I am in the same situation, but of course you are older and more mature situation.

As i see it, you and i are both chill cool guys with good stories and ability to communicate as you have shown above. You are fun, I am fun. We both met great girls for us, but then suddenly lost attraction. wtf right?

We (my ex and i) were great during school, because im a great (cocky&funny (; ) and shes a HB9 (at least the attitude & skill of one). But break started, and she had family time to tend to, as well as I. Then she gave me some BS about how im too good for her which means she lost attraction - why? because i was always there when she needed me. We said we'd meet up to buy a tie (for a dance coming up) and to hang out. but she flaked 3 times saying parents wouldnt let her or she made plans with girlfriends. and each time, i was like thats fine, i got to hang with my friends to. but I guess i was too chill, too adapting, and it seemed like i would jump the first chance to hang out with her. once i even canceled a big meet up with one of my old friends to be with her because i havent seen her all break. To a point I was too much attached, but i did lay back, keep my cool, hang with friends.

To reroute back to Your situation: the attraction is lost. and getting it back is a bitch :S but trust me you can do it, but you have to be strong. She isnt interested anymore, and holding you as "boyfriend" status until a better reason to leave. Freeze her out, and go out. Drop the "well it would be rude if i dont come" but AS SOON AS SHE drops a hint of "its ok if you dont come" - SAY "ALRIGHT COOL IMMA HANG WITH MY FRIENDS THEN. TELL YOUR PARENTS TO HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR" dont ask "hey can you tell your parents to have a happy new year anyway?" asking is bad in this situation. get control back. even if she says "no, i wont...." just be like aighttt cool peace out.
because you know what she is thinking? "oh my god he is just using my parents invite as an excuse to see me...just leave me alone!"

trust me dude. i finally met up with the girl to buy the tie and hang out, but she was cold as fuck. almost like "ok what store is it at? lets go..." we didnt even hug or touch or anything, she was with her friends whom i entertained very well and kept my composure. you have to surprise her! be unpredictable like you used to be! she is thinking "wow hes coming over just to see me but using parents as advice" OR "hes gonna get mad and explode one of these days, i mean ive been so cold" (she knows what she is doing!)

you have to make her think "what? so youre not coming...? okay i guess..." or "what? youre not mad yet? why isnt he mad??"

freeze her out, let her do her thing, you do yours.
you have advantage that i dont have which is youre still in the relationship.
I had to see my girl AFTER we broke up.
and we're still going to the dance together, so i have 1 week to get her attracted agian. and i will, ive done it before, and i can do it agian - better.
(and even if i cant - i have to tell myself that i can and take a risk)

whatever you do, dont go AFC, dont cry to her, "why are you doing this to me??? boohoohooo" maintain composure. show her that you chose her, but you dont need her.

because right now she is thinking, he needs me, im so bored, i want a man who can make me work for it. it seems too chill right now.

and sorry if this is the complete wrong way and has no relation to your problem.
but thats my 2 cents.
too nice = no attraction
attraction = choice, not need
freeze out = showing you can live without her for a couple of days.

good luck.

Ok so I'm suppose to be going to her parent's party tonight.

Funnily enough I get an 'unexpected' call about 3/4 hours prior to the event, with her coming up with some lame excuse "I'm one of the hosts tonight and I'll have to be talking to everybody. It'd be no fun for you if you came."

I didn't go AFC, but I was honest. I said how I was going because I always honour an invite I receive anyway and that I'd be fine with just seeing her for 5 minutes anyway, I'd talk to the other people there and enjoy myself.

I knew from the outset she wasn't gonna budge on her opinion, I tried everything - tried to talk emotionally instead of logically, telling her how I was gonna come and have a good time and make her feel more relaxed, that there was no pressure on her to talk to me and that by me coming she'd have a better time.

I effectively called her out on her shit excuse and everytime I managed to work my way around her, she just said "You're not listening to me."

In the end I knew I was going to have to not go, even though I actually did want to. I'm not going and causing a scene though, that's just retarded and I know when I'm not wanted.

Then she says she wants to meet up Monday, which in the end turned out to be bollax and she just said it as a way to ease me into the idea of not going tonight.

Upto this point, things look even worse, right ? Like the shit has really hit the fan and we might as well split up.

------------------------------------

But then we carried on talking, spoke about other things, had a laugh. She said that she doesn't know why I'm worrying about the fact I haven't seen her for weeks and the fact she's bailed on NYE, tonight and now Monday. She said that even if she didn't see me for a month she'd still feel the same way and that she really likes me.

She was being genuine here, that's how she actually felt IN THAT MOMENT. However, when we've spoken on phone/via text/via MSN for the past couple of days, does someone wanna tell me why she didn't display those same feelings ? Exactly, cause I'd lost attraction, despite her effectively saying her feelings haven't changed.

However, the conversation very much ended on a high, I teased her a little about stuff, then said I'd just got a text with something else I could do tonight. She was obviously asking what it was, I just said "Nah not telling, you'll get jealous." Then she said "Oh speaking of which you know I said I would be jealous of your (new) phone ... well yea I am ". After refusing again to tell her where I was going (which was no-where btw, I lied.) she said playfully "Fine I give up, I gotta go get dressed." I then teased her about that being a poor way to say goodbye and we joked about the fact it'd been a while since we'd said the three magic words, and she said that obviously she couldn't say them now because I was expecting them, but she said "But I do" to which I replied "I know ".

At the end of the conversation, yea, she said it properly, and I replied as well. She said "You better send me a long text tonight considering you now have free texts!" To which I ofc said "Not gonna happen, I'll be too drunk most likely." Her: "Oh haha again? Anyway I have to go." Me: "Okay" Her: "I love you" Me: "I love you too." End of conversation.

I then told her to get a hold of me tomorrow after work (evening time).

Plan of Action

I'm thinking I should Ignore All Contact till then, and maybe even ignore that as well ? Total freeze-out till I see her Tuesday morning ? Freeze-out till Monday morning and invite her out to town with me (I'm most likely gonna go anyway) ? Or just talk to her tomorrow when she calls and continue the positive vibe that tonight ended with ?

I can't help but feel like I've been played - she got what she wanted afterall, and she's still in control. But yet, for the first time in ages we had a really good conversation and I actually feel good. So I'm going to take this good feeling and enjoy myself. Good evening all

So you kinda did listen to the make her jealous advice, nice on ya! I find the whole story a bit strange like she IS hiding something.. but on the other hand let's just wait and see what happends.

In the meanwhile just go out and have some fun. Meet other girls etc.
Don't cheat, just have genuine fun like you'd have with mates.

Good luck!

_________________
Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

I would freeze her out for a bit, don't reject all her calls, but let a few days pass before you reply/hangout. It seems like things are on the right track, she said the right things, but who knows..to me it feels like she is still up to something.

My best advice is to play it conservatively and don't be surprised if she bails again

Maybe you should Bail on her--
1 Bail from her=2 Bail out from you---you should make your excuses sound suspicious too--like you have met someone else---

she is playing games here, call her out on it and get control or drop her like a bad habit. sorry but if a girl tells you she loves you then she shouldn't be bailing on you for NYE without a really damn good reason.