Hey guys, I know i'm going against the grain and and a lot of you are going to advise me to ditch and move on. However, that's not the advice I'm looking for.
My last LTR of almost 4 years contacted me today, it's been 2 months since our break up. I'd like to see if I can revive our old relationship because for awhile things were really well and I was certain that she was the one.
I blame a lot of the sour part of our relationship on myself not behaving like a good boyfriend. I was selfish, and just overall lacked good communication and relationship skills. All while convinced that she was the one being too needy and controlling. In retrospect I know there's a lot of things I could of done to save the relationship.
I know that we both have feelings for eachother, And i'm pretty certain that it's possible for us to get back together,(we have many times in the past while I was still a shitty boyfriend,) although it is going to require a lot of work. Right now I'm sure she feels frightened to get back into our relationship and I know that she has a lack of confidence, self esteem and trust in herself and I.

All while reading relationship and PUA material since, I think that I have made the right changes to actually be commited in a LTR now. But I'm unsure how to start on square one. Obviously I need to build her trust and comfort with me, which is going to be a huge investment that won't be easy. Anyone have any tips on how I can start this off? And any other advice on how to produce decent results until I can lock into the relationship? I don't know if I need to display myself as independent and not needy of her company or what. Maybe this situation calls for a different approach than pick up.
I appreciate the help guys.

are you in the process of gaining commitment for a second try or do you have it already? if so, you have to let her decide when she wants to get back with you. the important thing is to not rush her but let her make the moves. give her the options but let her decide when. prove to her with your actions that youve resolved all the issues below.

" blame a lot of the sour part of our relationship on myself not behaving like a good boyfriend. I was selfish, and just overall lacked good communication and relationship skills. All while convinced that she was the one being too needy and controlling. In retrospect I know there's a lot of things I could of done to save the relationship. "

"Obviously I need to build her trust and comfort with me, which is going to be a huge investment that won't be easy. " -it seems like you already know whats cut out for you. go git em tiger!

do a good job and at that point you should be back with her. but dont stop proving once you get back with her...LTRs are a longterm sale, but be sure youve resolved these issues within yourself and youre able to show this off.

and i might get negative response from this but, i think its the right thing to do...throw out certain parts of the game such as negs for now. she might not be in the mood at this point. i think its more important to let her realize you know what the problems are, youre taking steps to fix things, and showing effort.

hope this helps.

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Sarge the entire Bay Area- from SF to SJ

People who say "dont look for love, let love find you..." dont have any f*ckin' game.

what the fuck do you got to lose ? nothing !

just do it ... maybe you make a new friend .. make you get a new GF or maybe you get laid.

doing nothing is stupid

nike '' just do it ''
and enjoy the process

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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