I'm with a girl, when I'm with her face-to-face she's generally fine and everything's great .

Sometimes in the evening when we chat on MSN or the like she'll go into moods which can only be described as bad ones.

When there's something wrong, I understand and we'll talk it through.

But when nothing's wrong and a girl is just 'feeling down', how do you game this situation properly bearing in mind you like the girl, a lot, and want to keep them happy as your GF.

I always try to keep a positive frame going, change the subject quickly, be funny, ask if something genuine is wrong, I even tried being caring and being a bit open (which I've decided against - why should I act loving and reward this behaviour which I don't enjoy ?).

How can you best deal with these moods ? How can I get across that I'm a happy person and want the time I spend talking to people reflect this - unless ofc there's something genuinely wrong, in which case I'm all ears.

Cheers again guys.

It really depends.. Is she moody about you, or moody about something else..

does she say the truth when you ask her if she is okay? Does she says fine... or not so well...

You are already doing a fine job, by just being fun and happy.. Dont let her moodines affect you.. unless she is mad at you

Thats always good with my girl..

I can hear it instantly if she is not in a good mood, she usually answer honest and say "not so well".. Then i ask why, if she doesnt really give a good answer, i just move on.. make her happy.. with being fun and talktive.. She will love it that you make her feel on her toes.

Then after you can say "i dont like it when you are not honest when i ask how you feel"..

Also if she doesn't give you an honest answer when you ask her if shes is okay.
Dont push her..

It could also be that she just doesn't sound happy on msn, but she in reality is.
Some people dont use smileys ect and sound excited on msn..

Just keep doing what you are doing when on msn.. If she just keeps being like that, then perhaps you shouldnt chat so much with her on msn

When you ask her what is wrong, what is her answer, and is she self-aware to be able to tell you or will she say "nothing" when there really is something?

If there is legitimately nothing wrong, maybe she's just the kind of person that needs some downtime in the evenings, in which case I'd keep the conversation short which gives her her time and gives you the opportunity to do something more fun than talk to a grumpy chick.

Thanks to both of you for your quick responses.

When I ask her what's up, "nothing" is the general response - sometimes she will tell me if there is something up, but when there's not and she's still down, this is where I struggle.

I've considered keeping the MSN conversations shorter, but sometimes we'll be having a great time, all smiles, and then *bam* she might change. I considered it to be 'Push-Pull' and even thought about confronting her on it but decided against it and ran my own game instead - being positive always, trying push-pull myself, teasing.

I also know she loves me to give her 100% attention, she's said it Sometimes I will if she's being nice, if not, I won't Keep her on her toes y'know.

She wants control though, and the fact she has always had a BF for as long as I know whereas I have little experience, means her natural game is much stronger and I can feel myself working very hard to stay attractive.

I do not want her to become bored with me, I kinda like her, and she has said the three magic words (ILY), but she's still testing me.

Referring to (and expanding on) a bit in the OP - I mentioned I had been more 'open' with her sometimes when she entered a dodgy mood.

I've come to realise this was a mistake - I showered her with attention and said lots of nice things when she was like this, so maybe she thinks she has to be like this for me to tell her nice things/say I love her ?

Obv I say the stuff on other occassions as well - and every time I do I make a point of saying it was as a reward for good behaviour/being nice/etc ...

However, I think my early mistake may have set a grounding for future behaviour which I don't want ! So how can I 'punish' the entering of one of these moods, without being too harsh - remember, she is my GF and I do care for her. I don't mind her being upset, if there's a reason, if there's a not, I want her to be happy talking to me.

What's the best way to proceed ?

Cheers again guys, for all of the help.

Ok, how's this (woman's point of view):

We all know that when someone says "nothing" is wrong, maybe there is nothing, maybe there is something, or maybe there is something she hasn't figured out how to verbalize yet. You are afraid you are giving her positive reinforcement for acting moody, and you also care about her. so, when she says "nothing" why not say something like "Ok, well, if something IS upsetting you, let me know so we can talk about it. Otherwise, maybe you just need a little alone time. I'll give you some space, we'll catch up later, ok?"

This accomplishes several things--first, you let her know you are there for her. Second, you are telling her you are not going to be the beta hanging on her every word while she acts moody. Third, you get your negative reinforcement--when she gets moody, you leave the conversation. If she needs some space she'll be grateful, and if she's just being bratty, she'll learn quickly that you can't treat people that way.

she sounds like she has mental issues. could be depression. if she has a tendency to get nasty and go into rages, could be borderline. in which case run. run fast and far.

she sounds like she has mental issues. could be depression. if she has a tendency to get nasty and go into rages, could be borderline. in which case run. run fast and far.

Thanks Linckia, that's a great approach and one I'll be sure to use

One question, if I say that we'll chat later or something and she gets upset that I'm leaving the conversation or not talking to her, how do you deal with that ? Like if I say we'll catch up later and she says "Yea, great" sarcastically, implying she doesn't want me to go if you know what I mean, how do you respond ?

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And Tar, I don't think it's THAT serious, it's not like she's flipping out every second

Thank you for your time guys Much appreciated.

Sometimes in the PUA community there is an overwhelming attitude to not take any "bad behavior" from women, which I think is short-sighted and unrealistic, because not everything is as black and white as that. However, if she's being grumpy, won't tell you what's wrong, and just wants you to sit there and take it, that's not very fair, is it? No one has the right to just be bitchy because they can. If you were in a bad mood that had nothing to do with her, would you make her sit there and just lob nastiness at her? no--you'd go do something else until you felt better. So the sarcastic answer is just continuing the bad mood, and I'd eject until she cooled down.

Think of this--one of my favorite tenets of seduction is "leave them better than when you found them." You have every right to expect that same courtesy from your partner.

Ok heres the thing. Women think mosty with a diffrent part of the brain called the Limbic System, this is the part of the brain that sets the emotional tone, bonding with others, artistic part of the brain ect ect....mens limbic system is very small and we think with a diffrent part of the brain for the most part (the "logical" part of the brain. Women act based mostly on emotion and men on logic for this reason.

When a man is upset about somthing he think "Ok how am I going to solove this lets talk about it and make a plan" The womens brain kinda goes into emotional over drive and says "Im so angry I dont care about any one eles point of view! Im confused and pissed off" This is why what makes sens to a man makes no sens to a women or the other way around.

So here is the best thing for you to do. When she says "nothing" she reall means Im pissed but I want you to kiss my ass and admit to being wrong, or it means Im upset but I dont know why Im upset so Im going to get mad at the world.

What you need to do when she says nothing is say "Ok thats fine I will leave you alone but If you do need to talk to me we can talk when you are ready". This gives her emotional side time to cool off and if also gives her time to remeber what a great bf you are...Then later on you can talk about what the problem is and bring up to her that you hate to so her upset so often and you feel like she has been really moody, you can both figure out why and fix the problem.

In the end you will look like the bigger person and she will appreciate that you were calm, and helped her her figure out why she is so moody. It will work out for both of you...If she still seems to be a moody bitch after all that then I would say perhaps she is naturally just a bitch and you shouldnt be with her lol

To all you men in here who say "Fuck women If they get moody tell um off!" that deff the wrong mind set!

You should always stand up for your self yes but you also need to understand how a women brain works and accept that at times women are going to be upset, moody w.e because of how their brains work...its alot less stressful to let her cool off, and deal with it in a mature manner, rather then stress your self out and get ina s screaming match with her.

The best way to have a women understand your point of view and to fix a problem is to understand her point of view and how she thinks...you catch more bee's with honey...I think alot of people in this community think that unless you tell a girl to go fuck her self ever time she get upset then you are being a "nice guy" and we are creating alot of "bad boys or "ass holes"...women want a man not an ass hole.

Yes i agree, but it also depends how mature the relationship is..

If you can be mature and you have a strong bond.. No need to get defensive.

There's been some top advice so far in this thread, thank you guys for giving it to me - it is greatly appreciated.

She really is a great girl and I think I can apply a lot of what you've said to show her I care, whilst keeping things positive between us whenever possible.

Thanks again !

I use this strategy and it works, she stopped beating around the bush and started being open and honest