| Greetings fellas,
I was doing some reading this morning and after browsing a number of threads around here, I decided to see what you had to say about my particular situation.
Some background. I'm 23, very successful, confident, etc. I was in a three year relationship about a year ago and have casually dated a few girls at a time since then. I'm ready to be in a relationship again and it so happens that I've reconnected with a terrific girl.
We had a 'thing' way back (think middle school hand-holding) and we've now been seeing each other nearly everyday for a month or so. She's my age, very confident, very attractive, very into me.
We've been on a number of dates, I let her (perhaps foolishly) hold my hand in public and kiss me in front of my buddies at the bar. She has me over for dinner with her family, we play games, etc. Ugh, my previous relationship ruined my game. I feel like a chump.
Recently, we had a talk about what each of us wants out of 'whatever this is'. I mentioned (again, probably to my demise) that she's "a great girl: confident, beautiful, friendly, etc and that I would love to be in a relationship."
With much hesitation and apologizing, she explained that she hates 'labels' and doesn't understand why we can't just continue letting things develop the way that they are currently (perfect). I played it cool with something like, "that's fine, I understand, just friends" to see how she reacted. She fired back with something like, "I think we can both agree that it's more than just friends." I said sure.
A little while later, we talked about how labels make things different. I said that there's commitment associated with it and that I would allow myself to become more emotionally invested in our relationship. We talked about cheating and she said (and i quote), "I don't plan on doing stuff with other guys, hun." Blah, blah, blah, I'd heard enough.
Like I mentioned before, I'm pretty well established here with a very good career, etc. She doesn't have that and wants to move back to her college town (she just graduated).
Here's a final, complicating factor. There's another girl that I'm really into, is graduating in June and will likely be moving back here after that. We've been together on and off for a year or so and would definitely be in a relationship if she were in the area. She's going to be home in late December and I don't want to hurt her if this thing with girl A is a waste of time. Aka, there needs to be a solution in the next few weeks
I'm thinking I should try playing it cold and see how she reacts. She's very confident and I need a way to show her that she isn't in charge. At one point the other night, she asked a question. "If I let us be more and you're my boyfriend.....blah blah blah." I didn't have energy to respond, but that was a red flag.
Surely you gents must have some advice. I need a sanity check![/b]
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