hey guys, i'm new to the forum and i've been doing quite a bit of reading around but i was wondering if anyone would be willing to help me out with some advice specific to my situation, as it’s very difficult to look at things objectively when going through a situation that’s so emotionally charged.
Basically about three weeks ago my gf broke up with me, there hadn’t been any problems that i was aware of in the relationship itself before this, we got on very well, didn’t argue (though we would sometimes spend most of the night debating something deep, in between intervals of fun.. but never any actual arguing or nastiness). The relationship was semi-long distance (4 hour train ride) as i’m at university and she’s at college in our hometown, but i would travel home and see her most weekends. (possibly a mistake looking back, but i did it with the best intentions).
Anyway, the reason given for the break up was that she didn’t think that her parents would approve, as they would want her to focus on her studies, and she couldn’t handle the stress of hiding it from them any longer. Do i believe this? I’m not sure, she certainly has been incredibly stressed with college work lately, breaking down into tears and whatnot so maybe there’s some truth in it.
When i look back at it though i may have made some mistakes through ignorance, I started off very DHV and went more DLV as the relationship developed, if only i had been aware of such things!

So that’s the background, the situation now is; we’re still on speaking terms, and friends. Like a fool i’ve been calling her because i love talking to her, but i’ve decided this must stop as it is DLV and may damage my chances. I’ve been trying to use facebook as a medium to passively communicate DHV and maybe inspire some jealousy (last week i put up a couple of photos of me looking close to girl who looks very similar to her, which seemed to get me a positive response from the ex, though i spoilt that with some lame DLV over the phone. I’m wondering what’s best to do now, i’ve been on a date with someone else already and i have a couple of others lined up, partially to help me recover and regain a real sense of value and partially to help me get over what happened.
I know that i could easily get somebody else, and i will keep dating as to “stand still” at such a time would be crazy, though i would really like to salvage this relationship if it’s possible. I’m wondering whether i should send mixed signals, continue a freeze out until she contacts me, or, well whatever
Any advice on how to do this is more than welcome =)

She broke up with you - it was her decision. And now you are crawling back to her by being her friend. Leave it up to her. She didn't give you a proper reason for breaking up so IMO a freezeout is a good idea.

I have been in this situation. My ex boyfriend broke up with me and then decided to message me a few weeks after the break up telling me how much he missed me and how his life was shit without me. I agreed to meet up with him and we had a horrible up/down rollercoaster ride on/off relationship for the next 2 years which did my head in and caused nothing but jealousy, resentment and anger towards each other. Because we had had a serious "in love" relationship for a year already, it was extremely hard to let go of that.

I tell you to not crawl back to her, becasue I have been there and it caused heartache. And then when I did want to get out of it, I was stuck. He wouldn't let me go. When I had new boys, he was by now too attached and refused to accept it. He started sstalking me and it was really bad. I'm just telling you all this to try and help you. I hope you take it that way.

yep.. i agree with girlfriend above

i do agree to let it go too, BUT if there is real love in the relationship, then i believe you guys have to work out the difference. A real relationship is at a different level, it requires commitment, understanding, trust and a whole lot more of factor into it. It is beyond the game.

What i believe is that,if you really love a person and she truly loves you. There is still a possibility of you guys being back together. Real relationships is able to withstand test.

But at this point just treat her as a good friend of yours, don't go crawling back. I am sure that wasn't the reason that she likes you for. Give her sometime to cool down, perhaps she is really having a big stress out there. Maybe, maybe not.

Regarding the parent's orbiter, i believe if you guys are really committed to each other, there is a way around it, or unless the parents is of unreasonable kind, then... good luck.

If you really want her back, use game to help you get her back and at the same time use it to maintain and keep the relationship. There shouldn't be an ethical issue with this, if your purpose behind it is for good reason. But don't go with a neediness mindset especially when you gotten some response.

This is my pov for your relationship part.

Meanwhile go have fun with other girls, go date a few more girls first, and perhaps you might have a different realization after that, for all you know. There is nothing wrong with having a love one, after all everyone out there are looking for a special one, just that they want more and better choice.

Because if you continue indulging in it, you might bring yourself down to the bottom of the well. Get out of it, take it as a break and for all you know, you might see the whole picture in a clearer view.

oh dear ...well... another post with advice ... check the link

just-goto-dumpedopinions-wanted-vt54036.html?highlight=

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