woman ... ÝOu can't know what men want .... everybody knows they want sex and beer ...... but there are many more things.
1. Stop thinking for your partner......
you can't do anything for him except offering him another job .... it's his inner self he has problems with his work and feels compelled to not do anything about it - he feel like he has no choice. He does not take control over himself in a situation that is out of control --- > this is 50 % caused by mentality
i don't know your boyfriend or how snappy he could be ... what i do know is he can't find meaning in his work ... he only sees the routine and boredom.
He feels compelled to do his job but he has no motivation.
I had had several jobs that were terrible .. badly paid .. alot of routine and bad working scenarios. What i learend to do is Finding Meaning in my work , why do i work , what do i contribute to the society with my job
and do i work to live or do i live to work ?
he needs to make some
changes in his career or mentality otherwise your relationship is going to suffer.
His job activates his unconcious negative thoughts - bad thinking patterns that are fixed into his mind. He can't release the stress formed by it so he goes bitching about his job or he will bitch to you.
do you live with him under one roof ? or not ?
now imagine what happens when you both live in the same house or appartement.
like you said in his free time (weekend ) when he's with you he's totally cool.... thats because there isn't any stress which he normally builds up whole day ( from morning to end-time).
possible solutions ( his point of view ) :
1 . work on mentality and create a motivation from his mentality and point of view , -
what do you work for ? i want this car so badly i will take any job... you can't work for nothing but paying your rent ... you need ambition and motivation.
humans need to be compelled by challenges.. humans want to take risks and a exciting life... there are ambitions in career and ambitions in lifestyle.
maybe talk about something he really wants to buy.. or a good vacation... or his dream is bungee jumping.
Everything costs money... Just add emotional value to our work-mentality by thinking or talking about it
when im delivering to mail to people
1.Do i deliver some papers to earn my money
2. OR do i establish connections between people world wide by delivering mail to people ? - i fulfill an important job within this society.
it's mentality of thinking.
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2. Create ambitions or a succesfull job switch program...
Create a financial report on how much give-outs you do and how much you need to earn. This creates an overview or summary about your daily and yearly financials ( also include vacations etc )
When people take a job they often look on how much they earn with that job.. and after a few months they will go bitching on how boring their job is.
and when you ask them
'' why did you take that job ?''
first answer will be : '''i don't know '' and often the follow-up is '' i earn alot ''
I rather take a job that is fullfilling by meaning and motivation instead of the 6x 0 on my paycheck. however mosts jobs we really like just don't bring us enough money - if you know your financial needs you now how much you need to earn to live well without working only for money.
i take low-payment jobs ... i like my jobs and i earn enough - i know i earn enough because i have a financial overview.... when i see the payment on the contract i don't have to think if its sufficient or not . I'd rather listen what the job really contains and means....
know your give outs and takes so you don't have to think about money when you apply for a job.
under any circumstances : don't resignate until you found a new job
don't throw away old shoes before you got new ones.
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what you can do
Is understanding .... and stress relieving.
Asks what he hates to do ... if you talk alot you already know what he hates.
example : maybe he hates taking mail out of the mailbox, then you can relieve his stress by doing it for him.
your not the problem .. your his girlfriend ... talk about his ambitions and perform stress relieving tasks. however don't give too much, you don't need to be stressed as well.
Just be an inspiring force for him by talking about his ambitions
one tip : people often accept these kind of subjects when they don't know what to say or talk about..... find the right timing.
when you offend him by saying something - it's his problem .. you maybe are a funny and kind person and you don't need to change that because he's stressed.
Im not a shrink and i ain't dr.phil ... im just a simple guy... i can't really help and offer him a better job ( if that's the problem ). and im certainly thinking that i want a girlfriend like you who is very caring.
conclusion
Quote:
! I don't want him to have to deal with this shit. Please help?!
he deals with this shit because he allows this shit..... and he's angry because he knows it.
good luck
CHAT
