So im not here to brag or anything but im a guy with high social value..i met this girl 5 months ago at a camp. Everywhere we go all the ladies seem to fall for me. I told her i care for her but i have not asked her out to be my girlfriend. We've hit a couple of brick walls because she accused me of being too cocky..and what not. i dont really care and everything has turned out fine. i think its just that she wants me but can't have me but at the same time im a really avoidant person...i have add.
Well we made up and there was this party last night. a girl came up to me and her and said.."oh this is that one girl you've been talking about" and my girl just said, "hmm that one girl. i can take that" (she was sitting on my lap). Then she starts dancing with this one guy..whatever. i started dancing with my very hot friend and it was a little dirty. When i come back from outside she's making out with him. 5 minutes later he takes her outside. wtf is this an open relationship?
i go up to her in mid-act and ask her if i could have a word with her and agrees. i tell her to look at my eyes and tell me if she feels a sexual/romantic connection with me..and she hesitates then says no. i then say, "you may think im playing you." and she responds with YES...ITS BEEN HOW LONG? 5 MONTHS? (kinda panics). and she drives home.

P.S. it was halloween and was dressed up ready to role play with handcuffs...yadadamean? she was digging me that whole day and turned out to make out with some dude. can someone clarify whats going on here? i figure she just feels used but idk how to make it better when everything went so wrong and she still feels attracted.

Any time a woman says "your a player" or "your cocky" or "you do this all the time dont you"... she is conveying SOLID INTEREST. It is a baited line to see if you stumble over your words and come up with some lame excuse like "oh, no I never do this" or if you MAN UP and say "yeah, I do do this all the time, are you enjoying yourself? Good, then be quiet and have fun!".

She went and kissed the other guy to make YOU jealous, and it somewhat worked, it is a jealousy plot line to get her "in" with your attraction... she wants you bad dude. Maybe more than what your wanting, but if you LAY DOWN THE GROUND RULES and tell her "I have other girls I am seeing, if you have a problem with that then we wont work, otherwise, lets be fun and enjoy each other" she will come around even if she is at first thrown off.

Pre-selection is in my opinion the BEST damn attraction switch to get a woman hot on you, and you obviously have this down.

I ran accross a saying yesterday that explains this "pre-selection" dynamic and I'll close with sharing it with you bro:

"A man yearns to be a womans first love, a woman yearns to be a mans last romance."

Freaking beautiful!

_________________
Havok
"He who hesitates, masturbates."

Kind of in a pickle. She says she wants someone who cares, but when i show it she avoids it. shes been sticking around for 5 months and i haven't yet gone for the drill. idk why but i hesitated. shes getting tired of waiting.

"I could be seeing other girls, i don't want to wait any longer. If you have a problem with that then it wont work, otherwise we should enjoy eachother."

you think this would work? according to the situation im in...she knows i have social proof and pre selection.

we live 30 minutes away so its easy to avoid me, yet how would i spark a text convo to make her come over?

P.S. her myspace moods are always about me..in code.

Pretty simple. Either...

A.) You want to be with this girl bad enough that you are going to come around and show interest. She wants a committed relationship with you apparently. She did those things to get you to commit. She used preselection against you to try and get you to budge.

B.) You want to keep playing the field.

It's obvious she isnt going to let you have the best of both worlds. Just make a decision and let her know where things stand.

Here is how it went...setting the GROUND RULES.

Me: I could be seeing other girls, i am the "one who hates for things to happen". If everythings so avoidance its not gonna work out, otherwise, let's keep it fun and enjoy eachother.

Her: Then go see other girls (my name) good grief youre cocky.

Me: Cocky enough to care. Listen, im busy tomorow. It's important that you meet me Wednesday or Thursday. I'd appreciate it.

any advice?

Oh so I guess she agreed to see you then?

So you got a date...


Dude from my perspective she is going to tame you like the wild beast you are, or she will move on. I don't think she can handle being "one" girl amgost many. I think she wants to be the only girl in your life.

She baited you with the 5 month line. She is triggering your emotions to care for her. Then making you jealous. She is going crazy because she feels so much for you, and you haven't given her security. If you want to see other women you have to make her feel secure. This is dangerous territory. Can you really handle this?

For me, I'm 25 and my dick gets horney once a week. I don't need multiple women, but if you want to then go for it. Tell her that you love her or something that makes her feel SPECIAL (she is completely different from all the other girls). Talk to her about the comment that your HOT girl friend made. This is deep shit dude. She saw you dancing with that HOT girl, and flipped out because of her insecurity. You are not making her feel secure; she is worried that you would leave her for the HOT friend. That is why she made out with the other dude. Not only to make you jealous, but also to feel better about herself. If you keep her around and fuck other girls she is going to fuck other guys. I just can't see how it would work unless you could convince her that she was special and every other girl was just a piece of ass.

Warning: Treating women like this will get you a women of lower status. High quality girls won’t allow themselves to be used. Unless she is very young and naive.

_________________
Walk Hard

No. its impossible to get a date when shes being emotional.

that convoersation led to her being pissed (it was over text). i know i know.. some girls just perfer to express things through writing. so i kept my cool during her banter. she said she was tired of the game and she has too many problems to deal with.

since i kept my cool i led the conversation to fractionation about her problems..i didnt ask her i just started with my own negative times. ( i lowered my shield). With on the agreement we wern't gonna continue this "thing". since it was late i ended the conversation but she still tried to keep it by replying right after me. i felt our comfort levels again.

HER EMOTIONS: Rage --> Trust--> a smile face--> then laughed at one of my little jokes. idk if this means much but, she went from saying "fuck you" to a happier mood.

Goodnight havent talked to her then. I didn't reply cuz i didn't have anything else to say. her last text was "haha". Any other advice? did i handle this well if i want her back?

i know she still feels intense attraction but thinks its best to move on since she cant be that "one" girl.

So now she is taming you. You will fold and say I will change for you. Then get in a relationship with her. Or you will move on and ignore your feeling for her. Your choice. Think about it. Write out what you have to say here, thats why this board is here.

_________________
Walk Hard

Date her. If you just wanted her for sex you would have moved on by now, and wouldn't be thinking so much about her and posting here about her.

The problem you have right now is having difficulty seeing yourself as a boyfriend. But when you are a boyfriend, people see you in a new light. People have a whole new level of respect for you. And they get to see a side of you that you otherwise wouldn't be able to show in public.

Spend quiet time thinking about being in a relationship, and how awesome it would be and all the ways you could make it more awesome than your last one. It will be hard after so long, but it's worth it.

BTW there's no need for you to "change" to enter a relationship. You can still be a cocky flirty guy within the boundaries of a relationship. You just have to draw the line at certain points, like if a girl tries to sit on your lap you have to immediately get her off you unless you already have some sort of friendly rapport with her that means you always do that with her.

If you really care about her. If she makes you work super hard to get her back, then you will care about her. You probably wont want to fuck it up with her because she was so hard to get. I would be like working out for 3 months. Then eating fried foods for like a month. You just destoyed everything you worked so hard for.

One of the reasons why being a PUA can be dangerous because of the dehumanizing effect it has on the ease of getting a girlfriend.

_________________
Walk Hard

That doesn't make sense. You aren't speaking from experience. If you are able to get a girlfriend and treat her right, you are doing it right, everyone is happy, there is no problem.

I took charge and drove to her house in the mountains. she welcomed me in and had crazy make up time. She's now my girlfriend. Thanks plaayyazz